Quotes & Sayings About My Ex Husband

My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband. — John Fugelsang

Syn pulled Furi to his chest. "Furi, I want you to go back through the bar and go wait at my place. I'm going to have a little chat with your ex-husband," Syn said extra loudly.

Furi huffed in annoyance, "Syn, I took six months of self-defense courses at the YMCA this year. I can fight for myself."

Syn looked at Furi like he'd lost his damn mind. "At the Y? Well hell, that's great Furious. If you ever get jumped by the Village People, feel free to pull out those moves. As for now, I want you to take your karate-kicking-YMCA-going-ass back to my apartment," Syn snarled at Furi, urging him toward the door, having neither the time nor the patience to argue with his ridiculous pride. Thankfully, with one final glare Furi went back into the pub. When Syn turned back, God and Day were looking back and forth between him and his two foes.


"What's going on here, fellas?" God asked casually, not acknowledging Syn. — A.E. Via

I don't have any jokes about my divorce or my ex-husband, who is a lovely person. It really is about how I was an idiot trying to push this guy to get married when I wasn't even sure if I wanted to. — Jen Kirkman

I had to detach myself from myself, if that makes any sense, to conjure an authentic first-person voice. In that sense, it was similar to writing a first-person novel. But I was writing about real people, not fictional ones - myself, my family, my friends and boyfriends and ex-husband, and that was extremely tricky. — Kate Christensen

Whether we make our own money or rely on someone else, many of us would rater pretend our financial matters don't exist. Or we hope they'll just take care of themselves somehow. My ex-husband was like that. He always said, "I bank by prayer. I go to the ATM and pray that money will come out. — Nancy Levin

I've been through a marriage, and I'm still very fond of my ex-husband; but if I've learned anything, it's that relationships are about compromise. — Alexa Vega

I find it quite entertaining that girlfriends and wives of some of my friends and the mistresses of my ex-husband feel the need to keep up with my social media. I didn't realize my life was so interesting since I am a simple person...I guess that's what happens when you have trust issues, bitterness, and/or nothing better to do. — April Mae Monterrosa

I was working as a cocktail waitress in a heavy metal bar. Then, my manager said I should try some acting, which led to an audition Satisfaction, where I played a musician in an all-girl band. That movie is where I met my future ex-husband Jody Porter. — Britta Phillips

I sprinted into the conference room as my boss, and the owner of this law firm, Cherie Poitras, grabbed her client around the waist, a woman dressed to the nines in high heels and a cream suit. The woman had actually crawled up on the conference table and lunged for her husband. Cherie and I wrestled her off, but not before the husband's attorney put him in a headlock to keep him from strangling his soon-to-be ex-wife. Even in a headlock, the husband, a local politician who stressed the sanctity of marriage and traditional values, struggled to get at his wife, his arms and legs flailing around ... — Cathy Lamb

My ex-husband and I, even though we're not together, we are 100 percent together in raising our kid. We communicate a lot and where I drop the ball and need him to pick it up or vice versa, he's there. — Charisma Carpenter

I do feel free, I have patched things up with my ex-husband to the degree of this real friendship. We spend a lot of time together as a family with our son, no way will we be man and wife again. — Beccy Cole

I'm not saying that every night of the week, my husband, ex-husband, our children and I all sit around together like one big happy family. But we do see each other frequently, and everyone loves each other, and we are all friends. — Keeley Hawes

When I think of the moment I knew that my marriage to Josiah would end, there were a few moments before I really, really knew. I probably knew, when I saw my ex-husband and his now wife - then colleague - having tea together in his office, that something was amiss. — Isabel Gillies

If my ex-husband had had his way, I would have quit writing and continued working in his factory. — Nele Neuhaus

Limp as a ragdoll on the floor, time stands still. All I can think is that he's gone; my husband or soon-to-be ex-husband. There was so much more that still needed to be said. Now, I won't ever have that peace or that chance. — A.M. Willard

I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. "Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, "I yelled. "I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday I threw up on Joe Morelli. I was called a fat cow by my ex-husband. And if that isn't enough ... my hair is ORANGE! ORANGE, FOR CHRISSAKE! And now you have the gall to force yourself into my home and threaten my hamster. Well, you have gone too far. You have crossed the line! — Janet Evanovich

When I planned my wedding the first time, my ex-husband and I, we were both struggling comics. I had a TV show that had gotten cancelled. Basically, I rented a wedding gown; the reception hall smelled like feet. — Sherri Shepherd

But I would make it through "Death Valley." Lee, Thurston, and I, and then just the two of us, stood there. My about-to-be-ex husband and I faced that mass of bobbing wet Brazilians, our voices together spell-checking the old words, and for me it was a staccato soundtrack of surreal raw energy and anger and pain: Hit it. Hit it. Hit it. I don't think I had ever felt so alone in my whole life. — Kim Gordon

It is true, we do not like to lose a good, kind companion, a wife, a husband, a child, a brother, a sister, or any of our near and dear friends or relatives; but we have to do it, and it is right and proper that we should. They go a little before us; when we get there they will receive and welcome us and say, "God bless you, you have come at last." That is the way I look at it. I ex pect to strike hands and embrace my friends who have gone before. — John Taylor

He's half my ex-husband's age, but twice as energetic when we have sex. And twice as grateful afterwards. — Barbara Taylor Bradford

In fact, he was the most stubborn thing I had ever met besides my ex-husband, and not any easier to mount. — Lynn Bohart

With 'Supermoms,' my ex-husband and father of my 15-year-old child was a writer-producer on that project. We're both of the mind that we should try and handle these changing times as best we can. He's very forward-thinking about brand marketing. — Julie Warner

My ex-husband happens to be one of the most gifted moviemakers. And what is so bizarre about working with someone like that? I guess it is bizarre to be good friends with your ex-husband. — Ali MacGraw

She said this as though my father and Laura's father and her ex-husband were not the same person. She said it like we were losing three completely different people. I didn't know what she was losing and she didn't know what I was losing, but the doctors kept making it clear that what we were all losing was an organism. — Alison Espach

Until-as often happened during those first months travel, whenever I would feel such happiness-my guilt alarm went off. I heard my ex-husband's voice speaking disdainfully in my ear: So this is what you gave up everything for? This is why you gutted our entire life together? For a few stalks of asparagus and an Italian newspaper?
I replied aloud to him: "First of all," I said, "I'm very sorry, but this isn't your business anymore. And secondly, to answer you question ... yes. — Elizabeth Gilbert

I stood for parliament with the amazing support and help of my ex-husband, but it's not something that was handed to me like a peerage. I worked hard and was elected. So my achievements, such as they are, are my own. — Louise Mensch

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I have a scar on my right arm from my ex-husband. He was cooking and he had a hot pot and he turned around and went right into my arm. — Nadine Velazquez

I am divorced, and one of the things I am tremendously grateful for is that my ex-husband and I made a decision to go through mediation. I knew a trial would drag on for years, would cost me everything, but worse, would be devastating for our four small children. — Jane Green

One of the reasons my ex-husband and I broke up is that he stopped eating my food. — Jill Scott

And me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both of my parents think alcohol is a food group. — Christopher Titus

One of my ex-husbands thought I had a breast job. They looked bigger. I just got the proper lingerie. — Cybill Shepherd

I sent my ex-husband a bully card: You held hate in one heart and spoke niceties with the other, you laid warm hands upon me in public and wounded me in private, your noble face hid your filthy ways, and your sorrow was but laughter. — Jenny Jay

Which is where I met my my husband. Not currently my husband. My ex. Though he wasn't that then. I never know how to say that."
"Allow my copydesk expertise to intervene: your then-pre-husband, later-to-be-post-husband in his prior-to-ex-husband status. — Tom Rachman

Why are you here?" I asked him.
"That's an awfully big question, Anya."
"No, I meant here outside this office. What did you do wrong?"
"Multiple choice," he said. "(a) A few pointed comments I made in Theology. (b) Headmaster wants to have a chat with the new kid about wearing hats in school. (c) My schedule. I'm just too darn smart for my classes. (d) My eyewitness account of the girl who poured lasagna over her boyfriend's head. (e.) Headmaster's leaving her husband and wants to run away with me. (f) None of the above. (g) All of the above."
"Ex-boyfriend," I mumbled.
"Good to know," he said. — Gabrielle Zevin

The embryo of my second novel, Bobby's Diner, came to life because of my husband's ex-wives. Let's just say, they inspired the writing. — Susan Wingate

If my ex-husband could move on, I could, too. I would search for my gardener, someone who would help me to grow and bloom, but who would recognize the fragility of a new flower just starting to poke out of the ground.
If I was lucky, he'd have a long cultivator. — Tracy H. Tucker

My mom and I were super close when I was a kid, her and I sort of ran off from her ex-husband. It wasn't such a good time for us and I remember listening to The Distillers with her. One time I actually asked her, 'Mom, can I shave my head into a mohawk?' — Hayley Williams

My ex-husband is very involved in raising our beautiful children. We're very lucky because we both grew up in working families in middle America. We're on the same page that way. — Reese Witherspoon

I'm really incredibly stubborn - you can ask my ex-husband. I think when you tell me 'no', if it's something I really want, I'm just going to push harder. — Kathryn Stockett

At one point I found myself simultaneously cursing him and reaching for the phone to call him and tell him all about how my terrible husband had wronged me, as if there were two versions of him: the imposter who had just hurt me, and the real Tom, who would curse imposter Tom and make it all better. — Camille Pagan

I saw my ex-husband in the street. I was sitting on the steps of the new library.
Hello, my life, I said. We had once been married for twenty-seven years, so I felt justified.
He said, What? What life? No life of mine. — Grace Paley