My Arse Quotes & Sayings

I've found out that Malakula was named by Captain James Cook. It comes from the French mal au cul which means 'pain in the arse' after Cook found it difficult to deal with cannibals, volcanoes and other annoying features. It's good to know proper explorers sometimes share the feelings I have on my travels. — Karl Pilkington

When Olivia leaves the room, I move to follow, but Franny steps into my path.

"Oh no, you stay here."

"Simon," I say with a scowl, "collect your wife before I say something I'll regret."

But Franny just tilts her head, appraising me. "I used to think you were a selfish bastard, but I'm starting to believe you're just a fool. A double-damned idiot. I'm not sure which is worse."

"Then I guess it's good that I don't give a turtle's arse-crack about your opinion of me. — Emma Chase

The new stuff's brilliant," I volunteer somewhat hesitantly because I really, really don't want him thinking that I'm trying to kiss his arse, but to my amazement he wrinkles his nose and seesaws his hand. "You don't like it?"
He shifts slightly. "No, it's fine. It's just sometimes it gets a bit uncomfortable singing lyrics that seem to be an ode to my sister in law's vagina! — Lily Morton

Slowly he f**ks my arse, pushing himself in and out of me. The sensation is so intense. I feel like my inner slut has finally been freed, and I revel in her carnal abandonment; throwing my head back while Mike rides me like an animal. — Felicity Brandon

A young man, when sliced up by glass From a footballer's tragic mis-pass Said, 'Hey, there's no harm Done; it's only an arm. I'm just thankful it wasn't my arse. — J.L. Merrow

It is an ancient and venerated custom of people in my country to start a story by praying to a Higher Power.
"I guess, Your Excellency, that I too should start off by kissing some god's arse.
"Which god's arse, though? There are so many choices.
"See, the Muslims have one god.
"The Christians have three gods.
"And we Hindus have 36,000,004 divine arses to choose from. — Aravind Adiga

I love it. Reminds me of you." "It reminds me of a man I don't like." I never want to hear it again. "I'm sorry." He nips at my neck, drawing his tongue up the length to my jawbone. "My arse is dead. — Jodi Ellen Malpas

My mouth fell open. "Did you really just compare me to Olivia Newton-John?"
"I just meant like going from, y'know, prim to all sexed up."
"I feel . . . weird."
"You look amazin. Amazin."
He pulled me against him, hands snaking under the glamour cardigan to make the acquaintance of my arse.
Chloe gave a warning screech. "Don't smudge 'im!"
He grinned, tilting his head because, in my heels, I was just a little bit taller than he was. "You're giving me chills, babes."
"Is that so? Are they multiplying?"
"Hunjed pahcent."
"You'd better shape up, then."
"You're like totally the one that I want — Alexis Hall

I'm not a boy!" Dashan retorted hotly. "How dare you speak to me like that!"
"I'll speak to you any way I see fit. You are sorely lacking in discipline and wouldn't know danger if it bit you in the arse!" Ryland looked towards the door where Dashan wanted to go. "Do you have any idea what sort of place that is?"
"A brothel?"
Ryland laughed so hard his head fell back. "A brothel, he says. My, my, aren't you the innocent? It is a brothel, but a certain type of one. The men who frequent it are known to have very particular tastes."
"What sort of tastes?" Dashan was curious now. Did Ryland know it was a brothel for men who wanted men? And how did he know? Did he use this place too?
Ryland shook his head. "That's not something the king would appreciate me telling his son."
"Show me then. I demand that you show me. That's an order. — Annette Gisby

Oh, excellent," Ethan Stone said. "A way out. Good thing I was sure to be bitten by a radioactive spider so I can scale these walls and ceiling and shimmy my arse right out of here."
Will studied the wall shaft for a long moment. "I don't think that would work. — Courtney Allison Moulton

Someday, I'll gain telepathic powers like every other regular movie ghost and I will go all Freddie Krueger on his bony, little, rat arse!"
I rolled my eyes, but kept marching down the street.
"Then I'd have to go all Ghostbusters on yours.", I tried to keep my voice low to keep from drawing attention to myself.
"No, you wouldn't. You love my arse, darling!", he walked backwards few feet in front of me.
His big smile was enough to make me grin and roll my eyes again at him. — Tia Artemis

The fuck you are." Matt growled in my ear. "There is no way you're leaving me to raise two babies on my own. Stop talking out your arse and focus." "Rightly — K. Carr

Don't ever cancel my call again! I told you I would talk to you, you should have waited ... "
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Mr. Edge, it is 5pm, I assumed my working day was done and I cancelled the phone call by accident, this phone is new, still working it out" I made it up as I went along and was surprised by my ability to lie on my feet.
"Melissa, don't play stupid. Get your arse back here or I will hunt it down and drag it back" He ordered and made me hold my breath — Mercy Cortez

I could be a bit of a pain in the arse. Since I've come out of my cancer, I must say I intend to be even more of a pain in the arse. — Harold Pinter

-You're pretty hard-boiled, Tinker Bell.
-Call me that name again and you'll be wondering how your bollocks wound up lodged in your windpipe
from below. Just because we don't get to your side of things much anymore doesn't mean we don't know anything. 'If you believe in fairies, clap your hands!' If you believe in fairies, kiss my rosy pink arse is more like it. Now are you going to shut your gob or not? — Tad Williams

That
ing zombie is going to end up on the end of a couple of
ing handy and versatile kebab skewers,' said Mr Tulip. 'An' then I'm gonna put an edge on this
ing spatula. An' then ... then I'm gonna get medieval on his arse.'
There were more pressing problems, but this one intrigued Mr Pin.
'How, exactly?' he said.
'I thought maybe a maypole,' said Mr Tulip reflectively. 'An' then a display of country dancing, land tillage under the three-filed system, several plagues and, if my
ing hand ain't too tired, the invention of the
ing horse collar. — Terry Pratchett

Having just had a baby, I'm not going to be thinking about my arse. — Kate Winslet

People don't tend to employ me. I'm the wrong personality type. Or rather, people do tend to employ me for a short time and then they sack me. A film broker once told me, as she terminated my contract, that I have a misleading sort of face.
"You're pretty", she complained. "Your features are symmetrical and there was an article in Grazia that says human beings are programmed to find those with symmetrical features more pleasing to they eye. So this isn't my fault, I was simply responding to a biological imperative. You've even teeth, so when you smile, you look ... sweet, I suppose. But you're not, are you?"
"I hope not," I said.
"You see, there you go again. You're a smart-arse and you've no ability to filter your thoughts
"
"And my thoughts are often abrasive."
"Exactly."
"I'll just get my brushes and sponges and leave."
"If you would. — Marian Keyes

I can't believe you're still mad at me," Ed says.
"You grabbed my arse."
"You broke my nose."
"You broke his nose?" Jazz asks. "You grabbed her arse?"
"It was two years ago-"
"Two years, four months, and eight days," I tell him.
"-and I was fifteen, and I slipped and she broke my nose."
"Wait a minute. How do you slip onto someone's arse?"
Jazz asks.
"I meant slipped up. I slipped up and she broke my nose."
"You're lucky that's all I broke," I say.
"You're lucky I didn't call the police."
Leo, Dylan, and Daisy slid into the booth. "Did you guys know that Lucy broke Ed's nose? Jazz asks.
Ed closes his eyes silently and bangs his head on the wall. — Cath Crowley

Yes, but I doubt Jane Eyre is explicit about irrational fucking.' 'Ah, so you believe my only source of information is a Bildungsroman from the nineteenth century about an orphan girl who marries a gigantic arse. — Charlotte Stein

Hello, my name is your potential. But you can call me impossible. I am the missed opportunities. I am the expectations you will never fulfil. I am always taunting you, regardless of how hard you try, regardless of how much you hope. Please put talcum powder on my arse when you wash me, and take note of how our shit smells exactly the same. — Nathan Filer

He's always checking out your arse."

Kevin's laugh died on it's way up his throat. "Are you serious? Shit, I need to work on my gaydar."

"No, you don't." Cedric folded his arms over his chest. "I'm gay and I want you. That's all you need to know. — Taylor V. Donovan

It doesn't always have to be my cock up your arse, Ben," Evander rasped. "But if you don't hurry, I swear to Christ and the angels I will throw you on your back and fuck you through the mattress myself. — Jae T. Jaggart

I was woken early and had breakfast with the guru. We had some spicy Rice Krispies and a spicy biscuit with some really sweet, milky tea. Not the way I normally like it, but I drank it anyway as I didn't want to offend him. I suppose that is my heart telling me how to act instead of my head again. My arse may get involved later though. — Karl Pilkington

Bok knows everything about me, including my thing with auras. Truth is, though, he isn't much good as a bodyguard. Bok is a shade heavier than an eating disorder, has a cute button nose and long, silky, straight hair most girls would kill for. We've been friends since prep when he used to sit behind me in class and hit me with his ruler. I put up with it for weeks, and then one day when the teacher stepped out of the room I pushed him off his chair and watched as he fell flat on his skinny, pretty arse. — Marianne Delacourt

You grabbed my arse.'
'You broke my nose. — Cath Crowley

I worked in Harrods as a sales girl and I was so lazy, I just sat on my arse all day. Now I have huge respect for shop girls. It was boring, so I tried to shoplift things, but we'd always get our bags checked. — Susannah Constantine

In my mother's book, a vegetarian is somebody who is not concern with his or her diet and health. "Someone who prefer bush and grass, as if they is sheeps and cows, is somebody who don't have enough food to put in his mouth," she always say.
Only vegetarians eat dryfood regularly - and like to eat it, too. It is not considered normal for a person to cook food that doesn't have some amount o' meat or fish to go with it. Only someone who is starving, who don't have money to buy a fish head or a single flying fish or even the head of a dolphin - in other words, a person who is "catching his arse" - has to eat dryfood. A person at this stage is a person one remove from having to cook bakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. — Austin Clarke

Bram stared into a pair of wide, dark eyes. Eyes that reflected a surprising glimmer of intelligence. This might be the rare female a man could reason with.
"Now, then," he said. "We can do this the easy way, or we can make things difficult."
With a soft snort, she turned her head. It was as if he'd ceased to exist.
Bram shifted his weight to his good leg, feeling the stab to his pride. He was a lieutenant colonel in the British army, and at over six feet tall, he was said to cut an imposing figure. Typically, a pointed glance from his quarter would quell the slightest hint of disobedience. He was not accustomed to being ignored.
"Listen sharp, now." He gave her ear a rough tweak and sank his voice to a low threat. "If you know what's good for you, you'll do as I say."
Though she spoke not a word, her reply was clear: You can kiss my great wolly arse.
Confounded sheep. — Tessa Dare

Happy St George's Day. Now kiss my beggar arse, you Puritans! — Jez Butterworth

There's no way I'm going to put myself through Sandhurst and then sit on my arse back home while my boys are out fighting for their country. — Prince

Hermione slid out of her bunk and moved like a sleepwalker towards Ron, her eyes upon his pale face. She stopped right in front of him, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide. Ron gave a weak, hopeful smile and half-raised his arms.
Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.
'Ouch - ow - gerroff! What the - ? Hermione - OW!'
"You - complete - arse - Ronald - Weasley!"
She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.
"You - crawl - back - here - after - weeks - and - weeks - oh, where's my wand?"
She looked as though ready to wrestle it out of Harry's hands and he reacted instinctively.
"Protego! — J.K. Rowling

Whoever designed this frigging map was having a laugh. Just around the corner, my arse. — Freya Stark

Tell your father he must come himself. I do not waste my time on fools and younger sons. I am old fashioned in this. I like to talk to the horse's head, not the horse's arse. — Joe Abercrombie

The slight pull was all it took to completely unbalance his precarious load and dump the manure - all atop her boots.
"Bloody hell! Look what ye done!" the boy cried ... If ye hadn't come along and pulled me o'er it ne'er would have happened.But now ye'd best clean it up afore Devington or Jeffries comes along."
"Me?" she replied incredulously. "I'm not the clumsy oaf who dumped it. It's not my mess to clean."
"Well, I ain't about to be the last to finish my chores. Devington will have me turning over the reeking dung pit instead of breaking me fast wi' the other chaps."
"That's nothing compared to my boots, you ham-fisted lout!"
"Tweren't me what pulled the wheelbarrow arse over tea kettle, ye wantwit! Go bugger yer mother and lick yer boots clean!"
"I'll box your ears, you brazen-faced little jackanapes! ... — Emery Lee

In the end, she said, a little bitterly, facing him in warm perfumed bathwater one evening, despite wealth, despite wisdom, despite contacts and court alliances, I am still a woman. And I will be judged on all counts for that single fact, via the cursed fucking geometry of how pleasing I am to the eye. Cheekbones and arse cheeks are my destiny. — Richard K. Morgan

Three days later, just as I set off for work, the postman handed me a letter. I opened it on the bus, thinking it might be an early birthday card from some distant cousin. It read, in computer- ized text:
Dear Clark,
This is to show you that I am not an entirely selfish arse. And I do appreciate your efforts.
Thank you.
Will
I laughed so hard the bus driver asked me if my lottery numbers had come up. — Jojo Moyes

I guess my tendency to say things as they are, without filtering, puts girls off. If you ask me how you look, and I think your dress makes your arse look fat, I'll tell you. — R.J. Prescott

He's only being polite. You should look the word up," Denise settled on.
Ian snorted. "And angels fly out of my arse when I fart."

First Drop of Crimson by Jeaniene Frost
Page 78 — Jeaniene Frost

Yeah, I got the instructions straight from Seoras. That and a bunch of smart-ass comments about my education being sadly lacking and something about not knowing my arse from my ear or my elbow, and also something about me being a fanny, and I don't know what the hell that means."
"Fanny? Like a girl's name?"
"I don't think so ... — P.C. Cast

His divine wisdom can kiss my common arse — Rachel Caine

Leila. Schoolgirls are like sports cars. They're nice to look at, but they're impractical. In the end, they don't do what you need them to do."
I had to stifle my smile, he looked so serious. Then I stole a glance back at the lithe-limbed shadows beneath the tress. "Is that so?"
"It's true. They won't let you take them up the arse. They're rubbish at sucking you. You want to ride them at a hundred miles a hour, but you end up doing forty in the sixty zone because you're too fucking scared of damaging them. — Lucy V. Morgan

Look at you," he says, running his hand over my arse again. "Incredible, waiting for me to take you," he says, following its ample contours. "The way you take an order makes me wonder what I could get you to do. — Kerry Heavens

My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook. — Wendy Higgins

Skip your fancy talk, Captain Lord Blackthorn. If I do your bidding, and I'm still discussing that with the Almighty, it will only be to save my arse." Katie O'Reilly to Captain Lord Jack Blackthorn in "Titanic Rhapsody — Jina Bacarr

Well, spank my arse and call me Morgana. — Bex-chan

She thinks I've let myself down,' he was saying. 'But I haven't. I'm doing perfectly okay. Endless horizons are all very well when you're young. But get to your age, you've got to ... you've got to get some perspective. That's what kept going round in my head whenever she got unbearable about it. Perspective, she needs perspective. And I kept saying to myself, look, I'm doing okay. Look at loads of other people, people we know. Look at Ray. Look what a pig's arse he's making of his life. She needs perspective. — Kazuo Ishiguro

You know that scene at the beginning (of 'Pirate Radio') where I take The Count a cup of tea in the studio, and he shakes my hand, gives me a hug, and slaps me on the arse? That's genuinely the first time Tom Sturridge met Philip Seymour Hoffman. Literally, I'd hadn't seen him or exchanged words with him before. Richard just called me on set and said, 'Take him a cup of tea.' So that's what I did. And the smile of delight as he slaps me on the arse is purely mine. — Tom Sturridge

I grew up having to piss in a bucket 'cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I'll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don't have to strain. — Ozzy Osbourne

If I set my stones, my mum would be an opal, all swirly colours and clashy statements. I would put her at the north point of my stone compass and be grateful to her for my brains, and the fact that I stand up for myself. I'd be grateful to her for the ease with which I laugh, although I wish she'd rein in her own guffaws sometimes because really, who needs to be that loud? I was grateful that she didn't hover over me like some parents who couldn't seem to let their (nearly adult) children out of their sight without keeping constant telephone contact. He'll, I was even grateful that she had strict house rules that were a pain in the arse, because we both knew it would be much easier if she said yes, but she did no because she really believed no was the right answer. — Gabrielle Williams

Arjuro made a scoffing sound. 'You think Lumatere will invade because of you? Are you that important?'

Froi looked away. 'Isaboe would invade if you kidnapped a servant, let alone a friend.'

'Isaboe? We're on first-name terms with the Queen of Lumatere, are we?' Gargarin asked.

Froi found himself bristling. 'What? Do you think I'm some cutthroat for hire who they found hanging around the palace walls with the words "I want
to kill a Charynite King" tattooed on my arse? — Melina Marchetta

You'll be back! If you're not, then I'll come and find you. Now, do as I say and go have some fun. I want those eyes to have light in them next time I see you." He turned me around, smacked my arse and sent me on my way. — Lesley Jones

Girlfriends aren't allowed to care if you have Stilton socks. Friends are." All the same, she gave her hands a quick, professional shake and took hold of my foot. "Plus, you might be less of a pain in the arse if you got more action. — Tana French

You will get such flattery as you deserve, and my foot in your arse the rest of the time. — Joe Abercrombie

You fucking put those dick suckers anywhere near my woman again, and you'll be tasting your own arsehole, you got that?" Oliver snarled. "Now, fucking take your fruity arse behind the bar, and get me a fucking beer. — Kelli Jean

He's enchanted with you, I think."

"He's annoying," Anhuset said on a growl. "And human." As if nothing could be more repulsive.

"I'm human." Ildiko pressed her lips together to hold back her laughter at the glare she received.

"You aren't winking at me or staring at my arse every time I walk past."

"Oh ho, you noticed that, did you?" Ildiko chose not to mention that she'd caught Anhuset eyeing Serovek's admittedly attractive backside more than a few times in return.

Anhuset gave a disgusted snort. "Brishen with both eyes patched would notice. His Lordship isn't exactly subtle. — Grace Draven

His favourite word, one for which I have a great deal of time myself as a matter of fact, was "arse." Everyone was more or less an arse most of the time, but I was arsier than just about everyone else in the school. In fact, in my case he would often go further - I was on many occasions a bumptious arse. Before I learned what bumptious actually meant I assumed that it derived from "bum" and believed therefore with great pride that as a bumptious arse I was doubly arsey - twice the arse of ordinary arses. — Stephen Fry

I beamed at him. "You're my favorite sea god, you know." "Aw, get your nose out of me arse. Just make life interestin' as ye promised. — Kevin Hearne

You're complaining about getting personal now? You openly objectified my arse and quite happily snuggled into my chest as I carried you for over five minutes, I didn't hear you complaining about getting personal then,' he replied looking amused.
'I could hardly complain, I'd passed out and I've no recollection of snuggling,' I objected.
'But you've already admitted to the ogling. That's personal, so you owe me one.'
'Fine I apologise for staring at your arse and that it may in any way have made you feel devalued as a human being, but don't tell me that you didn't enjoy touching me up as you carried me. — C.J. Fallowfield

Otto would have sold his mother for a piece of my arse of course, but even at a young age I felt a strange attraction to girls and all those awful hetero things. — Jo Nesbo

I'd like to think that I'd helped people all over the world to question the things they otherwise would have accepted as the truth. I'd also like to think that I'd charmed them a bit with my lovely vocal stylings and the baring of my lovely arse. — Marilyn Manson

We need to get past the point where being black and a male means that I am likely to mug you for your wallet, likely to have a minus 15 on my IQ, likely to not go to college and likely to wear my pants below my arse. — John Amaechi

It will be easier, my lord, if you will sit, as even your collar is above my eye level." "Very well." He dragged a stool to the center of the room and sat his lordly arse upon it. "And since you don't want to have stray hairs on that lovely white linen," Anna went on, "I would dispense with the shirt, were I you." "Always happy to dispense with clothing at the request of a woman." The earl whipped his shirt over his head. "Do you want your hair cut, my lord?" Anna tested the sharpness of the scissor blades against her thumb. "Or perhaps not?" "Cut," his lordship replied, giving her a slow perusal. "I gather from your vexed expression there is something for which I must apologize. I confess to a mood both distracted and resentful." "When somebody does you a decent turn," she said as she began to comb out his damp hair, "you do not respond with sarcasm and innuendo, my lord. — Grace Burrowes

I don't see what my arse has to do with enchantings! — Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra

As long as you think like that, you'll be as brainless and helpless as the actual cuff of Astia. Use your will, Elli, for surely you have one. How else did you survive the torture that nearly killed you? How else did you make it to the woods? How else are you right here, after weeks of winter spent living in a cave, for stars' sake, looking stronger and healthier than I ever expected? No will, my arse. — Sarah Fine

Ben," Max said, leaning back in his chair with a giant grin. "It's finally happened."
I groaned, resting my head on my hand.
"You got your period?" Bennett asked. "Congratulations."
"No, you twat," Max said, laughing. "I'm talking about Will. He's gone arse over tits for a girl. — Christina Lauren

Dear Mr Lipwig,
I feel that you are a dear, sweet man who will look after my little Mr Fusspot. Please be kind to him. He has been my only friend in difficult times. Money is such a crude thing in these circumstances, but the sum of $20,000 annually will be paid to you (in arrears) for performing this duty, which I beg you to accept.
If you do not, or if he dies of unnatural causes, your arse will belong to the Guild of Assassins. $100,000 is lodged with Lord Downey, and his young gentlemen will hunt you down and gut you like the weasel you are, Smart Boy!
May the gods bless you for your kindness to a widow in distress. — Terry Pratchett

Kiss me, I think. Go on, kiss me. At least grab my arse. — Cath Crowley

I'm excited but afraid. I long to turn and wedge myself through the horse's arse from which I've just fallen, to sit safe in the hot womb of my room. But this is Jasper Jones, and he and come to me. — Craig Silvey

And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying. — Dylan Moran

Religion and nationalism? I defecate on the altar of religious conviction, and wipe my arse on the flag of national pride. — Ian Martin

I love the way you smile at me ... knocks me on my arse. — Amy Harmon

My mother had heard all about miniskirts but had never seen one so I took her for lunch at Alvaro's [in Chelsea]. We walked down the King's Road and waited 10 seconds for our first miniskirt and a girl came along with her skirt tucked round her arse. I said: 'What do you think, ma?' And she said: 'If it's not for sale, you shouldn't put it in the window!' — Michael Caine

If you tried to touch my woman she'd break your dick off like a twig then stick it up your arse. — J.D. Robb

I might take what I do very seriously, but at least I'm doing something, rather than sitting on my arse and being no-one. — Joshua James Alphonse Franceschi

I have never heard anyone refer to any of my brothers as a nice guy ... I'm going to assume you really meant he's a pain in the arse but you like him anyway against your better judgment. - Malina MacGregor — Michelle M. Pillow

If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls. — Dylan Moran

If his Majesty is resolved to have my head, he may make a whistle of my arse if he pleases. — Algernon Sidney

Once I told him I thought beating your son was a most uncivilized method of getting your own way. He said I'd about as much sense as the post I was standing next to, if as much. He said respect for your elders was one of the cornerstones of civilized behavior, and until I learned that, I'd better get used to looking at my toes while one of my barbaric elders thrashed my arse off. — Diana Gabaldon

I'm fine.My father's an arse, and my mum is dying and-oh my God,I'm so pissed." St. Clair looked at me again. His eyes were glassy like black marbles. "Pissed.Pissed.Pissed."
"We know you're pissed at your dad," I said. "It's okay. You're right, he's a jerk." I mean what was I supposed to say? He just found out his mother has cancer.
"Pissed is British for 'drunk,'" Mer said.
"Oh," I said. "Well. You're definitely that, too."
Meanwhile,The Couple was fighting. "Where have you been?" Rashmi asked. "You said you'd be home three hours ago!"
Josh rolled his eyes. "Out.We've been out. Someone had to help him-"
"And you call that helping? He's completely wasted. Catatonic. And you! God,you smell like car exhaust and armpits-"
"He couldn't drink alone."
"You were supposed to be watching out for him! What if something happened?"
"Beer. Liquor. Thatsswhat happened. Don't be such a prude,Rash. — Stephanie Perkins

If Admiral Tourville's invasion-fleet makes it across the Channel without being sunk by the Royal Navy, and if the Papist legion establishes a beachhead on English soil without being destroyed by the Army or torn to bits by an enraged Mobb of English rurals, then I shall personally carry every single one of your coins from the Tower of London to the front in my arse-hole, and Deposit them in some Place where they may be easily Picked Up. — Neal Stephenson

The Devil has all the best tunes? My arse! Metalville just got a new sheriff. — Mark Rice

Ann Fowler was sentenced to twenty lashes in 1637 for defaming a county justice, Adam Thorowgood, with the somewhat undeferential suggestion that Captain Thorowgood could Kiss my arse. — Gail Collins

Emily Zola.That's only the second woman I've seen down here. What's up with that?"
But before St. Clair can answer, the grating voice says, "It's Emile." We turn around to find a smug guy in a Euro Disney sweatshirt. "Emile Zola is a man."
My face burns. I reach for St. Clair's arm to pull us away again,but St. Clair is already in his face. "Emile Zola was a man," he corrects. "And you're an arse. Why don't you mind your own bloody business and leave her alone! — Stephanie Perkins

You've already slept the entire day. Why not take over for Matthew now?"
"You really think I could sleep with your eyes devouring me all day?"
Her face turned red with rage and mortification. That faker! She had been staring at him at various times throughout the day. She probably had his face so memorized that she could sketch it without his being present. But he couldn't keep his knowledge of that to himself? He had to make sure she was embarrassed right down to her toes?
But he didn't rub it in further. At least,she thought he was done with the subject when he lay down on his seat and turned his back to her. "Get some sleep yourself," he ordered. "You'll need to be at your best tomorrow, too."
She was just lying down when he added, "And keep your eyes off my arse."
Waves of heat crept up to her cheeks. That pretty much guarenteed that she wasn't going to get any sleep until he was out of the coach. — Johanna Lindsey

What do you think of boybands?"
I avoided eye contact, put my hands in my pockets, and shrugged.
"Not my thing, really." What was he getting at?
He chortled, and continued. "They are all the same. They've all got a lead singer whose head is stuck up his own arse, then a hard one who gets into trouble, an ugly one who wants to be taken seriously, and always, without exception, there's a gay one. — Eddie De Oliveira

I said, I love you, you arrogant arse." She smiled. "I always have. You're my mate, Owen Breese MacLaren. The distance won't change that. It never has. — Elizabeth Morgan

Getting money from my dad is a finesse job. Luckily, I have finesse coming out of my arse. I barged into his study without knocking, marched across to his desk, and held out my hand. "Give me twenty pounds," I snapped. "I need twenty pounds. Give it to me. Now! — Sarra Manning

Not I, but rather the king you love so well. It appears he would see us marry. (Rowena)
My hairy arse. (Stryder)
That is much more information about your person, Lord Stryder, than I care to know. (Rowena) — Kinley MacGregor

You're not paying attention to me, are you?"
"Eh? What's that? Sorry, love, I didn't hear you. Wasn't paying attention. I had my eyes on your perfectly formed arse."
Catherine fixed him with a glare worthy of a Scottish schoolmaster. "This is serious business Jamie. If you've to pass for a Highlander, you've got to get the kilt just so,"
"Bah! You're a hoydenish vixen. You just want to ogle my knees."
"Nonsense. I'm sure you'll find the ah... freedom and... utility very appealing once you try it on."
"You mean you think I'll like the feel of the family jewels waving free?" Blushing, she spread both great kilts on the ground. "One lays down on it like so. Oh stop grinning, Jamie, and do try."
She was so earnest and eager in her lesson that he hadn't the heart to tell her he'd worn a kilt a time or two before. — Judith James

The only thing I can do is wipe my arse, brush my teeth, turn up and do the best work I can. — Tom Hardy

'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes. — James McAvoy

Methinks marriage has made my brother soft," Alaric replied. " 'Tis a shame when a puny lass has to save his arse. — Maya Banks

Ryder." I chuckled. "I'm not even in the mood for - omigod."

Without warning, my husband's lips fastened on my clit, and he suckled on it until spasms of pleasure fluttered to life. I pressed my head back into the mattress and thrust my pelvis into Ryder's face, causing him to groan against me. He hooked his arms around my thighs and kept my arse on the bed as he feasted on me.

"Ryder," I moaned. "Circles, baby. Move your tongue in - Holy Christ! — L.A. Casey

Alone, my arse, he thought. I'll walk in alone, while my men sneak up behind them and destroy every last one of the bastards who took my woman. — Karen Marie Moning

I always wake up early, you know that."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah I do, because you always touch me arse before you get out of bed and it wakes me up."

Dominic frowned. "I have to say goodbye to my baby and reassure her that I'll be back. — L.A. Casey

Nothing bruise but my massive arse and my bigger ego." He blinked. "Who cast the spell on me? I can see now."
"It was me," Vaste said from behind him. "I was afraid you'd fall into me, and frankly I'm not sure I could support your 'massive ego' since I'm too busy carrying your arse. — Robert J. Crane

The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse. — Tony Abbott

Real scratching is superior to masturbation, in my opinion. One can masturbate up to the age of seventy, and even beyond, but in the end it becomes a mere habit. Whereas to scratch myself properly I would have needed a dozen hands. I itched all over, on the privates, in the bush up to the navel, under the arms, in the arse, and then patches of eczema and psoriasis that I could set raging merely by thinking of them. It was in the arse I had the most pleasure, I stuck in my forefinger up to the knuckle. Later, if I had to shit, the pain was atrocious. But I hardly shat any more. — Samuel Beckett

So?" I asked Vee. "What's the verdict?"
"The verdict? My doctor is a lard-arse. Closely resembles an Oompa-Loompa. Don't give me your severe look. Last time he came in, he broke into the Funky Chicken. And he's forever eating chocolate. Mostly chocolate animals. You know the solid chocolate bunnies they're selling for Easter? That's what the Oompa-Loompa ate for dinner. Had a chocolate duck at lunch with a side of yellow Peeps. — Becca Fitzpatrick