Mr Humphries Quotes & Sayings

There's to be a film about my life. I can give this as an exclusive now. Meryl Streep was offered the part but, no, I wanted Kate Winslet. Kylie Minogue is playing me in middle age. In old age, I'm not sure who's going to play me. I haven't got there yet. Perhaps Cate Blanchett. Or Jacki Weaver. — Barry Humphries

Am I old-fashioned? I think I might be. I am a lucky woman, because I was born with a priceless gift ... the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others. — Barry Humphries

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion. — Barry Humphries

Follow wherever the data leads you. Let the zillions help you rest more easily. Numbers don't lie. And they won't lead you astray. Instead, they'll help you find your way home. — Stan Humphries

I have charity work that I do. I started my own charity, the Friends of the Prostate, and I'm also working on awareness of the deviated septum. I do this because not many people are interested in it. There's also Save the Funnel-web - they're dying out. — Barry Humphries

I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, you know; it's very comfortable and dependable. — Barry Humphries

Every age probably regards itself as unique in its sexual sophistication, and if we take Ovid as a typical spokesman we should have to conclude that the keynote of his age was elegance ... Ovid could not possibly have taken himself, nor be taken for, an Ancient. — Rolfe Humphries

In Edna, I created a satiric portrait of my hometown of Melbourne, a large provincial English city paradoxically in far Southeast Asia. She's a theatrical figure, related to vaudeville in some respects. She inhabits a world in which there are comparatively few female exponents of comedy. — Barry Humphries

I'm approaching 70. Unfortunately, from the wrong direction. — Barry Humphries

Glamour comes from within. My beauty regime begins with my personality. — Barry Humphries

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development. — Barry Humphries

I denied this for many, many years and years ... but you cannot help but not see a little of my mother in the character of Edna. — Barry Humphries

I'm someone who always comes on the court no matter what's going on in my life. It's all about basketball and my teammates and my team. I don't let any distractions in, and I bring my best every night, regardless of what's going on or what people are talking about. — Kris Humphries

If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century. — Barry Humphries

People only watch my shows for me, and those shows have remained evergreen long after the guests are forgotten. — Barry Humphries

My whole mindset in training is to be explosive and fast, and I try not to get too big and bulky. — Kris Humphries

One of the strangest experiences one can have is to sleep on stage, as I once did in Sydney when I'd lost the key to my flat. I had to stay at night in a bed, which conveniently was on stage because my character Sandy Stone did his monologue from a bed. To wake up looking at a shadowy auditorium is a very peculiar feeling. — Barry Humphries

I think the way I eat is the foundation of my performance. — Kris Humphries

I love Australia - I think. — Barry Humphries

My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more. — Barry Humphries

My husband passed away a long time ago, and of course a lot of people have courted me. I've been taken to dinner and also to things like Larry Hagman, in particular years ago. And more recently, of course, little Hugh Jackman - and he's too young for me though, frankly. — Barry Humphries

I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner. — Barry Humphries

What is extraordinary about the character of Edna - and I speak as though I am completely outside this character and I am talking to you - I'm, as it were, in the wings, and she's on stage, and every now and then she says something extremely funny, and I stand there and think: 'I wish I'd thought of that.' — Barry Humphries

I also discovered how science can go horribly wrong. We can easily become captured by a belief system that is built on a shaky and flawed foundation. How often do we believe in something, not because we have done in-depth research on it, but because authority figures tell us it is the truth? What if what we believe is just an illusion? — Suzanne Humphries

The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live. — Barry Humphries

It's an old Aboriginal word meaning 'Let's get together and have fun'. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it. — Barry Humphries

Time is of the essence,
The crowd and players
Are the same age always,
But the man in the stand,
Is older every season. — Rolfe Humphries

If you like Girl with Dragon Tattoo and Vampires, this is for you! (Kathi Humphries (Design) on 'ORPHANS - Time is running out' by Ian Dewar) — Kathi Humphries

I don't talk to media or anyone before games. I just put my headphones on, turn up some hip-hop, and get in the zone. — Kris Humphries

On the second night here, the Koreans played and the streets had to be closed down to traffic for half a day before the game. In a remarkable coincidence, everyone came to town wearing the same type of red T-shirt. The Koreans gathered like a huge blob of ketchup and went mad in a quiet, Dufferlike way. You haven't seen crowds until you've seen Korean crowds. They gathered. They cheered in unison. They clapped and exuberated.
Then they tidied up after themselves and went home.
If you ever have to have half-a-million people in your house for a function, make sure they are Koreans. — Tom Humphries