Mr Filch Quotes & Sayings

God loves the plagiarist. And so it is written, 'God created humankind in His image, in the image of God He created them. God is the original plagiarizer. With a lack of reasonable sources from which to filch - man created in the image of what? the animals? - the creation of man was an act of reflexive plagiarizing; God looted the mirror. When we plagiarize, we are likewise creating in the image and participating in the completion of Creation. — Jonathan Safran Foer

I found myself back in the sepulchral city resenting the sight of people hurrying through the streets to filch a little money from each other, to devour their infamous cookery, to gulp their unwholesome beer, to dream their insignificant and silly dreams. They trespassed upon my thoughts. — Joseph Conrad

Filch and Madam Pince were secretly in love with each other. — J.K. Rowling

When Filch wasn't guarding the scene of the crime, he was skulking red-eyed through the corridors, lunging out at unsuspecting students and trying to put them in detention for things like "breathing loudly" and "looking happy. — J.K. Rowling

Filch, not now - " The aged caretaker had just come hobbling into view, shouting, "Students out of bed! Students in the corridors!" "They're supposed to be, you blithering idiot!" shouted McGonagall. — J.K. Rowling

Much as he detested Filch, Harry couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him, though not nearly as sorry as he felt for himself. — J.K. Rowling

A bit of old parchment!' said Fred, closing his eyes with a grimace as though Harry had mortally offended him. 'Explain, George.'
'Well ... when we were in our first year, Harry-young, carefree, and innocent-'
Harry snorted. He doubted whether Fred and George had ever been innocent.
'-well, more innocent than we are now-we got into a spot of bother with Filch. — J.K. Rowling

Mosca said nothing. The word 'damsel' rankled with her. She suddenly thought of the clawed girl from the night before, jumping the filch on an icy street. Much the same age and build as Beamabeth, and far more beleaguered. What made a girl a 'damsel in distress'? Were they not allowed claws? Mosca had a hunch that if all damsels had claws they would spend a lot less time 'in distress'. — Frances Hardinge

Adron tsked at Devyn's CO, who'd done nothing but rag on him for the last two months since Devyn had been reassigned to this unit. The man really was lucky Devyn had learned to control his temper. Most days, anyway. Adron cuffed the CO on the back so hard, Quills actually staggered from the blow. "Yeah, that's what he wants you to think. But trust me. I know his skills firsthand. His father was the notorious filch and assassin, C.I. Syn. His mother the legendary Seax, Shahara Dagan." Devyn — Sherrilyn Kenyon

The clergy converted the simple teachings of Jesus into an engine for enslaving mankind and adulterated by artificial constructions into a contrivance to filch wealth and power to themselves ... these clergy, in fact, constitute the real Anti-Christ. — Thomas Jefferson

Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me."
"Say 'please.'"
"Don't mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?"
"Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice.
"All right- PLEASE."
"NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage. — J.K. Rowling

Merlin's beard, Harry, you made me jump," said Slughorn, stopping dead in his tracks and looking wary. "How did you get out of the castle?"
"I think Filch must've forgotten to lock the doors," said Harry cheerfully, and was delighted to see Slughorn scowl. — J.K. Rowling

Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married. — Groucho Marx

To live
On means not yours
be brave in silks and laces,
Gallant in steeds; splendid in banquets; all
Not yours. Given, uninherited, unpaid for;
This is to be a trickster; and to filch
Men's art and labour, which to them is wealth,
Life, daily bread;
quitting all scores with "friend,
You're troublesome!" Why this, forgive me,
Is what, when done with a less dainty grace,
Plain folks call "Theft. — Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton

His books are exciting and powerful and - if I may filch the word from the booksy ones - pulsing. — Dorothy Parker