Most Funniest Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings

I been to many malls from state to state,But I've never been in, say, one this great.I hate to say, about the other shopping centers that's left,But the Albee Square Mall is the doo-doo-def! — Biz Markie

If you want to get across an idea, wrap it up in person. — Ralph Bunche

I went to the audition for a laugh and got the part for the way I walked down the corridor. There's no justice is there? [on getting a role from an audition — Ray Winstone

His heart quickened and he fisted his hands.There was nothing for it. When he saw the tip of Seth's tongue lick his lips and felt a hardening beneath him that mirrored his own, movie and tree forgotten, he lunged, closing the distance between their mouths. — Leona Windwalker

You hate me; but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself. — Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

There was genuine affection. Mom knew all this. "Thank God Eloise is uglier than a cow living near Chernobyl," Mom liked to say. "Or I might wonder." Dad — Harlan Coben

You ran away from an adorable Irishman who wanted to se you naked? — Christine Warren

The only thing different between sinners and saints is one is forgiven and the other ain't. — George Jones

One attacks those who possess things that one does not possess. The attack is all the more savage because the one who attacks is destitute and the one who is attacked is well provided. The one who attacks always considers himself to be in the position of legitimate offense. — Adrienne Monnier

As an adult, I'll give a writer 50 pages. If the book doesn't interest me in 50 pages, I'll say the heck with it - there are just too many other things to read. A child won't give you 50 pages. — Sid Fleischman

Beware the deadly fumes of that insane elation Which rises from the cup of mad impiety, And go, get drunk with that divine intoxication Which is more sober far than all sobriety. — William Rounseville Alger

A wedding was a strange ceremony, she thought, with all those formal words, those solemn vows made by one to another; whereas the real question that should be put to the two people involved was a very simple one. Are you happy with each other? was the only question that should be asked; to which they both should reply, preferably in unison, Yes. — Alexander McCall Smith

Choosing friends based on how much money they have is like betting on a horse because you like its saddle. — Stephen Smoke