Most Comical Quotes & Sayings

Nodded to the birds, a dozen of them in a black line, wise-eyed and watching. The town-square ran red. Blood in the gutters, blood on the flagstones, blood in the fountain. The corpses posed as corpses do. Some comical, reaching — Mark Lawrence

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. — Carroll Bryant

A gun. I had been brought down by a gun. It was practically comical. Cheaters, I thought. — Richelle Mead

It was never a good idea to laugh at a God as powerful as Hades. Although, the sight of him with cream-colored paint smeared in his raven dark hair and smudged on his nose was comical. "Already went that route. Me bedroom ended up a nasty shade of chartreuse. Took me a whole week to do it again." Hades sniffed, rubbed his nose, and looked at the paint on his fingers. "Damn it. It's in my hair, too, isn't it? — Casey Wyatt

The more amorous the President became, the more his fatuousness made him intolerable: there is nothing in the world as comical as a lawyer in love - he is the perfect picture of gaucheness, impertinence and ineptitude. — Marquis De Sade

When he saw Tyler, his face went serious, which struck me as comical. Andy had always been protective, but when it came to me having anything to do with guys, he felt it was his duty to inform and protect me from the ones he thought were most like himself. When I turned thirteen, he pulled me aside and we had his version of 'the talk,' which mostly consisted of a bunch of 'uhs' and 'ums,' but I got the gist of his speech: boys only wanted one thing, and I shouldn't give it to them until I was at least thirty-three. And married. — Jessi Kirby

I was afraid I sounded a bit comical with all my threats. As if I needed a mustache to twirl like some sort of ancient villain. — Diana Peterfreund

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. — Carroll Bryant

Life is a comical business, and there is
nothing funnier than love traveling through time. — Mario Puzo

It is at least scientifically respectable to postulate that at the centre of a black hole the laws of nature no longer apply. Since most scientists are just a bit religious and most religious are seldom wholly unscientific we find humanity in a comical position. His scientific intellect believes in the possibility of miracles inside a black hole while his religious intellect believes in them outside it. — William Golding

Dimitri held up a car seat with one hand, which was almost comical. "We can go whenever you're ready. Lana gave us this and swears it's easy to install."
Rose laughed at that. "Oh, this I've got to see, comrade. Dimitri Belikov, badass god, installing a baby's car seat. — Richelle Mead

And walking back from the river I remember the galling loneliness of my adolescence, from which I do not seem to have completely escaped. It is the sense of the voyeur, the lonely, lonely boy with no role in life but to peer in at the lighted windows of other people's contentment and vitality. It seems comical
farcical
that, having been treated so generously, I should be struck with this image of a kid in the rain walking along the road shoulders of East Milton. — John Cheever

And Toronto's own Sergio Trujillo has redone his choreography totally, showing all the comical invention that we know he's capable of. — Richard Ouzounian

The idea that we're somehow centrally important to the planet's existence is pretty comical - although I'd like us to be. — Dave Matthews

To Miss Cooper
Cousin,
Conscious of the Charming Character which in every Country, and every Clime in Christendom is Cried, Concerning you, with Caution and Care I Commend to your Charitable Criticism this Clever Collection of Curious Comments, which have been Carefully Culled, Collected and Classed by your Comical Cousin
The Author — Jane Austen

The P-38 WWII Nazi handgun looks comical lying on the breakfast table next to a bowl of oatmeal. — Matthew Quick

Y'all mythological niggas is comical,
The astronomical is comin' thru like tha flu bombin' you ...
And embalmin' in your crew, too.
With the musical, mystical, magical, you know how I do. — Keith Murray

That women were more spiritual, more sacred than men. I still believe that about women. Is that, too, comical? — Kurt Vonnegut

When a bookworm finally decides to leave the house, perhaps to explore some literary destination in one of her novels, she will be surprised to know that there is a volatile, often antagonistic force in the real world known as the weather. — Joyce Rachelle

Old friend, there are people - young and old - that I like, and people that I do not like. The former are always in short supply. I am turned off by humorless fanaticism, whether it's revolutionary mumbo-jumbo by a young one, or loud lessons from scripture by and old one. We are all comical, touching, slapstick animals, walking on our hind legs, trying to make it a noble journey from womb to tomb, and the people who can't see it all that way bore hell out of me. — John D. MacDonald

I've just found out I'm allergic to nut-cases — Benny Bellamacina

There was very little about her face and figure that was in any way
remarkable, but it was the sort of face which, when animated by
conversation or laughter, is completely transformed. She had a lovely
disposition, a quick mind and a fondness for the comical. She was
always very ready to smile and, since a smile is the most becoming
ornament that any lady can wear, she had been known upon occasion to
outshine women who were acknowledged beauties in three countries. — Susanna Clarke

Vitality, understood both somatically and mentally, is itself the medium that contains a gradient between more and less. It therefore contains the vertical component that guides ascents within itself, and has no need of additional external or metaphysical attractors. That God is supposedly dead is irrelevant in this context. With or without God, each person will only get as far as their form carries them.
Naturally 'God', during the time of his effective cultural representation, was the most convincing attractor for those forms of life and practice which strove 'towards Him' - and this towards-Him was identical to 'upwards'. Nietzsche's concern to preserve vertical tension after the death of God proves how seriously he took his task as the 'last metaphysician', without overlooking the comical aspect of his mission. He had found his great role as a witness to the vertical dimension without God. — Peter Sloterdijk

There is a notion that complete impartiality is the most fitting and indeed the normal disposition for true exegesis, because it guarantees a complete absence of prejudice. For a short time, around 1910, this idea threatened to achieve almost canonical status in Protestant theology. But now we can quite calmly describe it as merely comical. — Karl Barth

Laugh at yourself for man is most comical when he takes himself too seriously. — Og Mandino

As Kylie buried her head on the camp leader's shoulder, she heard Burnett scold, "I thought I told you to wait at the camp."
Kylie felt Holiday tense at the reprimand, and then she raised her head. "And I thought you knew I don't follow anyone's orders."
"Does anyone listen to me around here?" Burnett asked, his frustration making his tone sound almost comical.
"Obviously not," one of the FRU agents said, and chuckled. — C.C. Hunter

The whole group represented a powerful picture: Ivan Nikiforovich standing in the middle of the room in all his unadorned beauty! The woman, her mouth gaping and with a most senseless and fearful look on her face! Ivan Ivanovich with one arm raised aloft, the way Roman tribunes are portrayed! This was an extraordinary moment! a magnificent spectacle! And yet there was only one spectator: this was the boy in the boundless frock coat, who stood quite calmly and cleaned his nose with his finger. — Nikolai Gogol

If you ever watched 'Hercules,' you can see that it was made in a comical way for the most part. I remember getting lots of letters from kids around the world saying that the show helped them curb their temper and not look for trouble and just walk away from it because that was the stronger thing to do. — Kevin Sorbo

Of a terrible, the incomprehensible way one's most banal, incidental, even comical choices archive the most disproportionate result. — Philip Roth

The other night I took her on-out of pity-and what do you think the crazy bitch had done to herself? She had shaved it clean ... not a speck of hair on it. Did you ever have a woman who shaved her twat? It's repulsive, ain't it? And it's funny, too. Sort of mad like. It doesn't look like a twat any more: it's like a dead clam or something." He describes to me how, his curiosity aroused, he got out of bed and searched for his flashlight. "I made her hold it open and I trained the flashlight on it. You should have seen me ... it was comical. I got so worked up about it that I forgot all about her. I never in my life looked at a cunt so seriously. — Henry Miller

In the early 1800s there arose in England a fashion for inhaling nitrous oxide, or laughing gas, after it was discovered that its use 'was attended by a highly pleasurable thrilling11'. For the next half-century it would be the drug of choice for young people. One learned body, the Askesian Society, was for a time devoted to little else. Theatres put on 'laughing gas evenings'12 where volunteers could refresh themselves with a robust inhalation and then entertain the audience with their comical staggerings. It wasn't until 1846 that anyone got around to finding a practical use for nitrous oxide, as an anaesthetic. Goodness knows how many tens of thousands of people suffered unnecessary agonies under the surgeon's knife because no-one had thought of the gas's most obvious practical application. — Bill Bryson

The notion that it's too late to do anything is comical. It's hilarious. — Marina Keegan

It's always a bit much, being in a band with your brother. We fight all the time, but it's kind of comical. — Joel Madden

You study Yoga in India, Liss?" he asks. "Yes, Ketut." "You can do Yoga," he says, "but Yoga too hard." Here, he contorts himself in a cramped lotus position and squinches up his face in a comical and constipated-looking effort. Then he breaks free and laughs, asking, "Why they always look so serious in Yoga? You make serious face like this, you scare away good energy. To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver. Practice tonight at hotel. Not to hurry, not to try too hard. Too serious, you make you sick. You can calling the good energy with a smile. All finish for today. See you later, alligator. Come back tomorrow. I am very happy to see you, Liss. Let your conscience be your guide. If you have Western friends come to visit Bali, bring them to me for palm-reading. I am very empty in my bank since the bomb. — Elizabeth Gilbert

Add boyish, slim as a board, pancake. It's okay, I've heard it all."

He raised his head and said mildly, "I wasn't thinking in terms of your chest size."

"Good thing as I don't have one." She smirked and popped a big chunk of potato into her mouth. "The nice thing is I can run without those things flying in my face, too." And damn if she didn't make a comical face that had him shouting with laughter. — Dale Mayer

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

We think the feelings that are very serious in a man quite comical in a boy. — Charles Dickens

At George Mason University I saw Hoppe present a lecture in which he claimed that Ludwig von Mises had set the intellectual foundation for not only economics, but for ethics, geometry, and optics, as well. This bizarre claim turned a serious scholar and profound thinker into a comical cult figure, a sort of Euro Kim Il Sung. — Tom G. Palmer

What irritated her most was that they kept brushing off her arguments with patronizing smiles, making her feel like a teenager being quizzed on her homework. Without actually uttering a single inappropriate word, they displayed towards her an attitude that was so antediluvian it was almost comical. You shouldn't worry your pretty head over complex matters, little girl. — Stieg Larsson

There was a look of woe on his face that was almost comical. Raids, bullets, criminals ... no problem. A missing duster? Crisis. — Richelle Mead

There is a night school where you shall meet great teachers: The sky! When the night falls, the shining stars in the school will teach you how small you are and how comical to own an ego! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

During the years of struggling to make partner, he had sometimes entertained the comical notion that making partner would imbue him with new powers, like a budding superhero who had been bitten by a radioactive spider. It appeared that any superpowers he had gained did not include the ability to pick up women in bars. — Reece Hirsch

He stared at Avery's socks and felt an odd sense of wonder. Socks were so normal. So mundane. How could someone who pulled on socks in the morning be a serial killer? Socks were not hard or dangerous. Socks were funny; foot mittens, that's what socks were. They made a knobbly hinge of your toes and became comical sock-puppets. Surely anyone who wore socks could not truly be a threat to him or anyone else? — Belinda Bauer

On 'Lab Rats,' I read the script probably three or four times before we ever even do a table read because I want to be completely prepared. And I want to know exactly which beats I have to hit and where I need to make something comical. Some lines need a little more than others do just to get the point across, to get the joke to be funny. — Billy Unger

You talk weird." She whispered as she stared up at the white ceiling.
"Its part of my barely there practically nonexistent charm, but just like genital herpes, I grow on ya, kid and I'll getcha in the end." Sienna replied with a smirk, although her words were vaguely comical, everything else about her was not. — Ali Harper

Let's talk about rape for a moment. Rape is not what George Lucas did to your childhood. Rape is not what happens when a sports team beats another sports team by a wide margin. Rape is not what happens when your electric bill is higher this month than it was last month. Rape is when a person violates another person in the most despicable, degrading way imaginable and among the myriad of terrible things humans can do to one another, rape is among the worst. I think the casual misappropriation of the concept of rape extending all the way to its widespread comical usage is disgusting even by Internet standards. Off my chest. — Jeffrey Rowland

In Mexico, I first encountered the attitude that was missing from the optimistic sense of living in the United States: a tragic sense of life. Such a sense doesn't force us into a somber cone of depression and futility; it urges the opposite. The tragic sense opens a human being to the exuberant joys of the present. To laughter, carnal ity, the comical varieties of love, to music and art, to the small human glories of the day. — Pete Hamill

Any ad consciously attended to is comical. Ads are not meant for conscious consumption. They are intended as subliminal pills for the subconsious in order to exercise an hypnotic spell, especially on sociologists. — Marshall McLuhan

Do people always act this way around you? (Kiara)
You should have seen the reactions when I wore a League uniform. Those were actually comical. Except for the ones who lost control of their bowels. Then it was just messy. (Nykyrian) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

The doctor asked me recently how I was feeling within myself, I replied, "absolutely fine doctor, but I'm terribly lonely without myself. — Benny Bellamacina

How strange," she said, "not to recognize one's own face."
"You have no cause for complaint," Grant said huskily. Even bruised and pale and ravaged, her face was incomparable.
"Do you think so?" She stared into the looking glass without a trace of self-satisfactionshe had displayed at the ball. *That* Vivien had had no doubt of her many attractions. This woman was far less confident.
"Everyone thinks so. You're known as one of the great beauties of London."
"I don't see why." Catching his skeptical expression, she added, "Truly, I'm not fishing for compliments, it's just... seems a very ordinary face." She produced a comical, clownish expression, like a child experimenting with her reflection. A shaken laugh escaped her. "It doesn't seem to belong to me. — Lisa Kleypas

Acetylene
Scythe spinning slowly over your hospital bed,
Catching lashes of light with each turn,
You're slowly disappearing, lost from my sight,
As AIDs consumes you, stem to stern.

Jaw slackened, mouth open in comical pose,
Like Einstein's poster with the lolling tongue.
Gravitas gone, morphine has softened your throes,
Your opera's more Falstaff than Gotterdammerung.

I shave you, trim your overgrown nails,
I read your favorite poet, Stephen Crane.
'A rip-tooth of the sky's acetylene,'
You nod off, hearing only the rain. — Beryl Dov

The cynicism that regards hero worship as comical is always shadowed by a sense of physical inferiority — Yukio Mishima

If teams had to name themselves honestly, they'd all be the Pimple-Faced Teenagers. — Eric Berlin