Mitch Quotes & Sayings

The most inspirational man I knew only reached his potential by helping a child reach his. — Mitch Albom

I guess the one-liner kind of comic sounds like a guy who can talk and talk and whatever the subject is, he can pull out a one-liner, but I couldn't do that. I didn't like the association. I mean, I love Steven Wright, but so many people started saying "Steven Wright" to me, and I would get mad, because I never wanted to be thought of as copying anybody. — Mitch Hedberg

You don't build yourself up by putting someone else down. — Mitch Mitchell

We do not accept that ours will ever be a nation of haves and have-nots. We must always be a nation of haves and soon-to-haves. — Mitch Daniels

What would you give to remember everything? I have this power. I absorb your memories; when you hear me, you relive them. A first dance. A wedding. The song that played when you got the big news. No other talent gives your — Mitch Albom

What was the constant?
Movement. Yes. With time there was always movement. The setting sun. The dripping water. The
pendulums. The spilling sand. To realize his destiny, such movement had to cease. He had to stop the flow
of time completely ... — Mitch Albom

Instead, he would make death his final project, the center point of his days. Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value, right? He could be research. A human textbook. Study me in my slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with me. — Mitch Albom

What can I do to take my company to the next level?" The answer, my friend, is simple: make your organization Invisible! — Mitch Russo

But common sense has no place in first love and never has. — Mitch Albom

Intentions. That's important in music, too. Critically important. What you're thinking about can be what you become. — Mitch Albom

I make myself a bowl of instant oatmeal, and then I don't do anything for an hour. Why do I need the instant oatmeal? I could get the regular oatmeal and feel productive. — Mitch Hedberg

All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair. — Mitch Albom

Someone had carved into the metal wall, a corroded scrawl I hadn't noticed before. The words were upside-down - etched higher than I could reach - but easy to read: LOIS YOU SUCK BUTT! "Suck butt," I said. "You suck butt." What a crazy thing to do. I didn't want to think about it. "That's dumb," I told myself. — Mitch Cullin

Telling me your name wouldn't kill you.
Did you hear me tell you my name's Mitch? I'd really like to hear you use it when I'm fucking you later. — Kindle Alexander

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock." — Mitch Hedberg

I played golf ... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying ... — Mitch Hedberg

But it was not a new idea. We call out; we are answered. It has been that way from the beginning of belief, and it continues to this very moment. — Mitch Albom

I missed the crowds in those big stadiums, the flashbulbs, the roaring cheers - the majesty of the whole thing. I missed it bitterly. So did my father. We shared a thirst to return; unspoken, undeniable. — Mitch Albom

Just promise me, Mitch, whenever you decide to make the decision, you make it for you. And if you can't make the decision yourself, then you call me. Any time. Any place. I'll be there. No matter what. And we'll make it together. You think you can handle that? — River Savage

I snicker, but the idea is momentarily appealing. Part of me is scared of leaving school. Part of me wants to go desperately. Tension of opposites. — Mitch Albom

There's more musical freedom on Madison Avenue than anywhere else. It's an Eden for a composer. — Mitch Leigh

Is how you stay alive. — Mitch Albom

You see, here's my theory: Kids chase the love that eludes them, and for me, that was my father's love. He kept it tucked away, like papers in a briefcase. And I kept trying to get in there. — Mitch Albom

My writing habits are pretty static. I get up every morning between 6 and 7 am, grab a cup of coffee, say a few prayers, and go downstairs to my office and start writing. — Mitch Albom

Love like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive. — Mitch Albom

A heart weighs more when it splits in two; it crashes in the chest like a broken plane. Sarah dragged her wreckage back to the house up to her bedroom, and down into a deep, dark hole. — Mitch Albom

Perdonare
"Forgive Yourself) — Mitch Albom

Don't let go too soon, but don't hold on too long. — Mitch Albom

Only God can write the end of your story. — Mitch Albom

Every McDonald's commercial ends the same way: Prices and participation may vary. I wanna open a McDonald's and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald's owner. "Cheeseburgers?" "Nope! We got spaghetti, and blankets." — Mitch Hedberg

Did I lose you?"
"Never. — Mitch Albom

He loved to smile. He avoided anger. He was never haunted by "Why am I here?" He knew why he was here, he said: to give to others, to celebrate God, and to enjoy and honour the world he was put in. His morning prayers began with "Thank you, Lord, for returning my soul to me."

When you start that way, the rest of the day is a bonus. — Mitch Albom

Here is what I know of love. It changes the way you treat me. I feel it in your hands. Your fingers. Your compositions. The sudden rush of peppy phrases, major sevenths, melody lines that resolve neatly and sweetly, like a valentine tucked in an envelope. Humans grow dizzy from new affection, and young Frankie was already dizzy when he and the mysterious girl descended from that tree. — Mitch Albom

Tears are okay

[Morrie Schwartz] — Mitch Albom

And thus, unknowingly, did Dor begin to serve his sentence - to hear every plea from every soul who desired more of the thing he had first identified, the thing that moved man further from the simple light of existence and deeper into the darkness of his own obsessions. Time. It seemed to be running too fast for everyone but him. — Mitch Albom

Where there is lasting love, there is a family. — Mitch Kynock

If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!" — Mitch Hedberg

All blessings do not bless the same. — Mitch Albom

If you look at the history of other movements, whether Civil Rights or environmental rights, these are all decades-long undertakings. — Mitch Kapor

If you find one true friend in life, you're richer than most. If that one true friend is your husband, you're blessed. — Mitch Albom

When you think of Mitch Leigh as a businessman, remember he's also a composer. And when you think of Mitch Leigh as a composer, remember he's also a businessman. — Mitch Leigh

You know crazy straws - they go all over the place? These straws are sane. They never lost their mind. They say, "we're going straight to the mouth. That guy who takes a while to get there? He's crazy." — Mitch Hedberg

War is not one-sided. It takes two blades to clash. It matters little who comes out on top, there is still a dead man at the end. — Mitch Rowland

I was so lonely." And Father Time said, "You were never alone. — Mitch Albom

The city of New Orleans showed America what it takes to rebuild a great place. We're all going together, and we're not leaving anybody behind. — Mitch Landrieu

I don't know what it is about food your mother makes for you, especially when it's something that anyone can make - pancakes, meat loaf, tuna salad - but it carries a certain taste of memory. — Mitch Albom

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away. — Mitch Hedberg

Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes. — Mitch Hedberg

A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!" — Mitch Hedberg

This time was different. The tools of this era
phones, computers
enabled people to move at a blurring pace. Yet despite all they accomplished, they were never at peace. — Mitch Albom

Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creatures endures. A fear of time running out. — Mitch Albom

We hear the stories every day now: the father who puts on a suit every morning and leaves the house so his daughter doesn't know he lost his job, the recent college grad facing up to the painful reality that the only door that's open to her after four years of study and a pile of debt is her parents'. These are the faces of the Obama economy. — Mitch McConnell

That's the thing when people leave us too suddenly, isn't it? We always have so many questions. — Mitch Albom

On the issue of Iraq, it is my hope, and my challenge to my colleagues, that our debate will be based on what is best for the future of our nation and for Iraq, not what's best for a political party or presidential campaign. — Mitch McConnell

I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That's the biggest joke on the duck ever. If I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and stole a loaf of bread, I would let him go. I'd say, "Come back tomorrow, bring your friends!" When I think of a duck's friends, I think of other ducks. But he could have, say, a beaver in tow. — Mitch Hedberg

When you look into your mother's eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth. — Mitch Albom

She said very quietly, "Mitch?" "What?" "There's somebody downstairs." "I know there is. — Elmore Leonard

This one commercial said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did, and it was a load off of my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers, but I didn't know what they were! — Mitch Hedberg

For as spiritual as some people think my books are, I've never really dealt with religious things. — Mitch Albom

One doesn't go on television for the Manhattan crowd. You buy the sides of buses for that. — Mitch Leigh

Sometimes, questions are more hurtful than insults. — Mitch Albom

The camera doesn't intimidate me. — Mitch Gaylord

The truth is, part of me is every age. I'm a three-year-old, I'm a five-year-old, I'm a thirty-seven-year-old, I'm a fifty-year-old. I've been through all of them, and I know what it's like. I delight in being a child when it's appropriate to be a child. I delight in being a wise old man when it's appropriate to be a wise old man. Think of all I can be! I am every age, up to my own. — Mitch Albom

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. — Mitch Hedberg

I've always said I have one skill. That skill - if I have it at all - is storytelling. — Mitch Albom

On-base percentage really doesn't mean that much. — Mitch Williams

Knock on wood is a saying for good luck. I think that started when someone went to someone's door to see if someone was home. "I hope Joe's home, knock on wood!" — Mitch Hedberg

We are taking challenges and turning them into opportunities by developing homegrown, local energy production to become independent from foreign sources. — Mitch Daniels

I would like it if four people did a cartwheel all at once ... so I can make a cart. — Mitch Hedberg

I believe in being fully present," Morrie said. "That means you should be with the person you're with. When I'm talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I am not thinking of what's coming up this Friday. I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking. I am talking to you. I am thinking about you. — Mitch Albom

On a personal note, I was born in Brooklyn. My folks moved out to Long Island when I was quite young, but once a Brooklynite, always a Brooklynite. — Mitch Kapor

YOU TAKA MY SPACE
I BREAKA YOUR FACE — Mitch Albom

To know you're going to die, and to be prepared for it at any time.
That's better. That way you can actually be more involved in your life
while you're living. — Mitch Albom

'Arrested Development' is great; Mitch Hurwitz is great. Plus, it's the one show I've ever had where, on the small parts, he just let me cast people. — Allison Jones

He could not feel agony. He could not feel sadness. His consciousness felt smoky, wisplike, incapable of anything but calm — Mitch Albom

If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!" — Mitch Hedberg

Mitch grabbed hold of the car keys and held them over his head so Sissy couldn't get them. She, in turn, grabbed his nuts and twisted until he gave her the damn keys. — Shelly Laurenston

To call this a recovery is an insult to recoveries. — Mitch McConnell

Every life has one true love snapshot. — Mitch Albom

I can't wait to get off the stage, because I've got some LifeSavers in my pocket and pineapple is next! — Mitch Hedberg

I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end. — Mitch Hedberg

People on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on. — Mitch Hedberg

He leaned in close. He saw his father's dirty hands. He spoke the last familiar words in a whisper.
Its' fixed. — Mitch Albom

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality. — Mitch Hedberg

["Manning Up"'s] essays definitely nuance the idea of transitioning into a "shared manhood" (much like feminists of color have complicated the idea of "shared womanhood"). Trans men don't all transition to just become "men," which was one of the projects' cornerstone concepts. They become black men, white men, queer men, straight men, working class men, affluent men, fatherly men, single men, spiritual men, etc. etc. All of these mean different things when filtered through social and intimate, familial lenses.

One major boon of the growth in transgender literature ... is that we get to tease out these complexities in lives that will be popularly portrayed as monolithic unless we provide counter-scripts."

- from a National Book Critics Circle interview with writer Rigoberto Gonzalez — Mitch Kellaway

If you go back to the '50s and '60s ... there was zero tech in S.F. It was all in the Valley ... and it crept northward in early 2000s. — Mitch Kapor

I love writing for and about women. In my whole career I have. — Mitch Glazer

The accomplishment of open source is that it is the back end of the web, the invisible part, the part that you don't see as a user. — Mitch Kapor

There was always a quest for more minutes, more hours, faster progress to accomplish more in each day. The simple joy of living between summers was gone. — Mitch Albom

I never knew she liked country music," Smitty said in awe.
Yeah, that must make her prime mate material for a Smith. She'll fit right in at one of your hootenannies."
-Mitch to Smitty — Shelly Laurenston

is satisfying, not frightening, not empty. It is an illusion of reality created by ignorance that is so unbearable. The illusion of separateness, the illusion of connectedness to disconnected hardened hearts and closed minds is the source of the suffering that we would all wish to be free of. — Mitch Halper

The computer environment is radically different today. In the 1980s, it was like the Wild West, with a lot of open territory. Now, the cowboys have moved out and the farmers have moved in. — Mitch Kapor

And I suppose tapes are a desperate attempt to steal something from Death's suitcase. — Mitch Albom

Often, the disconnect between the marketing hype around a new product and what the product actually does is astounding. — Mitch Kapor

Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Don't wait, Mitch. Not everyone gets the time I'm getting. Not everyone is as lucky." I — Mitch Albom

To a fault, Ann has always been a very sensitive, trusting woman. It's as if she was born to feel and experience the world more acutely than the rest of us. It is both her greatest strength and weakness; if recognized by someone with devious intentions, this delicate quality can be easily exploited... — Mitch Cullen

Things happen in American politics in the political center. If the President will meet us in the center, there are things we can accomplish. — Mitch McConnell

I made such a fool of myself," she lamented.
"Love does not make you a fool."
"He didn't love me back."
"That does not make you a fool, either."
"Just tell me ... " Her voice cracked. "When does it stop hurting?"
"Sometimes never. — Mitch Albom

Once, when Giselle was alive, he thought about the future. Now he only thought about the past. — Mitch Albom

In heaven, there is no judgment, but rather an opportunity to examine our lives-who we touched, the choices we made, and the consequences of those choices.
-Blue Man — Mitch Albom