Miserable Funny Quotes & Sayings

Second hand books are wild books, homeless books; they have come together in vast flocks of variegated feather, and have a charm which the domesticated volumes of the library lack. — Virginia Woolf

Love can do funny things to you. It can make you happy; it can make you sad. It can even make you downright miserable. — Danielle Violette

Except that wasn't all. The real fun began when a kite was cut. That was where the kite runners came in, those kids who chased the windblown kite drifting through the neighborhoods until it came spiraling down in a field, dropping in someone's yard, on a tree or a rooftop. The chase got pretty fierce; hordes of kite runners swarmed the streets, shoved past each other like those people from Spain I'd read about once, the ones who ran from the bulls. One year a neighborhood kid climbed a pine tree for a kite. A branch snapped under his weight and he fell thirty feet. Broke his back and never walked again. But he fell with the kite still in his hands. And when a kite runner has his hands on a kite, no one could take it from him. That wasn't a rule. That was a custom. — Khaled Hosseini

Beware the knowledge thou seek, for knowledge though oft light, can sow the seeds of night and reap from the darkness that ensues
- 1654 — Esmerelda Jane Forstine

It's just that I have this funny objection to torturing small animals no matter how scrumptious their body parts might be ... Our food industries are equal opportunity abusers: cows, chickens, pigs, and a special mention to those little calves who for their short, miserable lives are locked into crates too small to allow movement just so we can eat veal. — Ron Reagan

I do not believe in any religion, I will have nothing to do with immortality. We are miserable enough in this life without speculating upon another. — George Gordon Byron

If life is really for the living, then the trick to living well is to learn to live it fully, to soak it up, to revel in it. — Joan D. Chittister

As people of color, it took a whole generation in many ways to get us out of the kitchen, and it's gonna take us the same whole generation to get us back into the kitchen and have ownership of restaurants, hotels and stuff like that. — Marcus Samuelsson

When I was a kid, we lived in Italy, which isn't really known for figure skating. I think that's why I excelled so well. I spent a lot of my high school years training. — Meta Golding

People who are depressed are often funny in the same way that En gland is a seafaring nation because we're an island; because you adapt to your circumstances, and if you're miserable you've got to become funny to fucking keep afl oat. — Anonymous

It's not funny. I'm going to be miserable without you."
"Then come home with me so you don't have to be. — Georgia Cates

I thought, What a miserable life he's had, having to hide his religion, his name, just to get a job
as a driver - and he is a good driver, no question of it, a far better one than I will ever be.Part of
me wanted to get up and apologize to him right there and say, You go and be a driver in Delhi.
You never did anything to hurt me. Forgive me, brother.
I turned to the other side, farted, and went back to sleep. — Aravind Adiga

All the girls joined in.
'I was thirteen last April and it rained on my birthday and I didn't even get to wear anything special -'
'We turned ten - just two months ago -'
'I usually get a book for my birthday - but - this year -'
'You forgot my birthday, too.'
'And mine.'
The girls looked miserable. The King opened his mouth, then shut it.
'Sir!' whined Lord Teddie. 'You forgot my birthday, too!'
Bramble gave a surprised laugh, then slapped her hand over her mouth, as though shocked at letting it out. The tension broke. The girls laughed sheepishly, and Lord Teddie beamed. He probably did not have many ladies think him funny. — Heather Dixon

Will biofuel usage require land? Absolutely, but we think the ability to use winter cover crops, degraded land, as well as using sources such as organic waste, sewage, and forest waste means that actual land usage will be limited. Just these sources can replace most of our imported oil by 2030 without touching new land. — Vinod Khosla

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us. — Kinky Friedman

Kai whirled around and his face was sadowed by the angle of the sun. Still, she knew his tone. Anger. "What's so funny? That our project has been set back several says? That we're stuck here longer? That you take a little spill from a horse and everyone wants to rearrange the world so you don't suffer a moment of inconvenience?"
"No," she said, and her voice was even. "That I would wait a month in agony just to hear you insult me. I'm a miserable girl indeed, don't you think? — Diana Peterfreund

I thank God daily for the good fortune of my birth, for I am certain I would have made a miserable peasant. — C.S. Forester

A sweet friend of my Hannah's said that Christmas only makes her sad. "It's just for happy families it makes everyone else miserable."
But there is a secret truth about family. Eventually you get to pick a family for yourself m. And thanks to the sticky, sweet, funny, loud, rambunctious people I chose, Christmas is my favorite time of the year. — Ellen Stimson

Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. — Michael Gambon

In the mainstream film market, certainly in television, sex is handled fairly discreetly. I think the abuse of extraordinarily graphic violence and language presses much closer to the tolerance of public taste. — Charlton Heston

The main thing I like about New Yorkers is that they understand that their lives are a relentless circus of horrors, ending in death. As New Yorkers, we realize this, we resign ourselves to our fate, and we make sure that everyone else is as miserable as we are. Good town. — Kyle Baker

The perception of him as brooding and dark and miserable, that is baloney. Kurt Cobain was a funny dude. — Krist Novoselic

Well, no one says you can be happy about everything," I said. "I know I should be glad for you, Megan, but frankly I think you're crazy. And if Reverend Marshall is making you this way, I think he's evil. This life, this everyday existence, is the one gift we're given. To throw it away, to want to be dead, to me that's the sin. — Susan Beth Pfeffer

I come from a long line of miserable people. — Arlene Schindler

He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed. — David Frost

It was a Wednesday, I think. Yes, a Wednesday, that miserable day sandwiched between the dreadful Monday and Tuesday and the 'all right' Thursday and Friday, which ultimately gave way to what I hoped woud be a glorious weekend. — Gauri Jhangiani

For much of my life as a journalist, I've viewed myself as being embedded with civilians and with those people who live on the other side of the barrel of a gun. — Jeremy Scahill

You forgot my birthday, too."
"And mine."
The girls looked miserable. The King opened his mouth, then shut it.
"Sir!" whined Lord Teddie. "You forgot my birthday, too!"
Bramble gave a surprised laugh, then slapped her hand over her mouth, as though shocked at letting it out. The tension broke. The girls laughed sheepishly, and Lord Teddie beamed. He probably did not have many ladies think him funny. In fact, he probably got slapped by a lot of them. — Heather Dixon