Michelfelders Deli Quotes & Sayings

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot. — Artie Lange

Be not slow to visit the sick. — Anonymous

There are moments in my show that are very moving as well as amusing. — Klaus Nomi

When a livestock farmer is willing to "practice complexity" - to choreograph the symbiosis of several different animals, each of which has been allowed to behave and eat as it evolved to - he will find he has little need for machinery, fertilizer, and, most strikingly, chemicals. He finds he has no sanitation problem or any of the diseases that result from raising a single animal in a crowded monoculture and then feeding it things it wasn't designed to eat. This is perhaps the greatest efficiency of a farm treated as a biological system: health. — Michael Pollan

The books. Are unhappy. — Will Bly

I like birthdays. Every time someone is born, that's just like bringing more cake into the world. — Demetri Martin

Apparently, I've grown a conscience. I don't know when it happened. I don't know how it happened, but I'm not happy about it.
If I could, I would squash that Jiminy Cricket fucker like the roach he is. — Emma Chase

When it comes to civilian deaths, violent hostilities play no favorites. — John Conyers

Over the last eight years of being on YouTube, I've seen so much progress. I think the reason for that is that a lot of young people are having open dialogue and honest conversations about social justice and human rights. — Tyler Oakley