Mean Roasts Quotes & Sayings

The Orlando Magic were so bad last season, the cheerleaders stayed home and phoned in their cheers. — Pat Williams

Custom, though never so ancient, without truth, is but an old error. — Cyprian

Good writing of course requires talent, and no one can teach you to have talent. — Peter Carey

Depression, suffering and anger are all part of being human. — Janet Fitch

My eyes widen at
the sight of her. This is the girl
Boss Man is after? She looks like a
porcelain doll ... beat three times
with an ugly stick. — Victoria Scott

America must realize, there are conditions she must accept in Asia. The first is a diversity of Asian cultures, governments, economic and political systems; the second, that to run against the tide of Asian nationalism is worse than impractical - it is also highly dangerous. — Ferdinand Marcos

Lonesome tears
I can't cry them anymore
I can't think of what they're for
Oh they ruin me every time

But I'll try to leave behind some days
These tears just can't erase
I don't need them anymore

How could this love
Ever turning
Never turn its eye on me
How could this love
Ever changing
Never change the way I feel

Lazy sun your eyes catch the light
With the promises that might
Come true for awhile

Oh I'll ride farther than I should
Harder than I could
Just to meet you there

How could this love
Ever turning
Never turn its eye on me
How could this love
Ever changing
Never change the way I feel — Beck

The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. — Maya Angelou

I'm not a big fan of comedy roasts because most of the time I find them to be really mean, but once in a while, you'll hear something perfectly worded and well-crafted. — Greg Behrendt

Witness each moment in astounded jubilation. Take every holy breath in gratitude. Rejoice in life! — Bryant McGill

I would go so far as to say that it may even have caused him to think the more highly of them because their unbelief grew from a far more honest view of the wretchedness of things than the belief of the devout who see only what they choose to see and turn a blind eye on the rest. — Frederick Buechner

Something funny certainly happens when palladium and platinum come into contact with hydrogen gas; it's one of the great mysteries still waiting to be solved on the periodic table. But it's quite a leap from 'something funny' to cold fusion. — Sam Kean

When you do talk to people, share what you are. Stop focusing on all the things that you aren't. Stop focusing on all of the physical features that you think people won't like about you. Stop focusing on your inabilities or lack of talent. Instead, focus on those physical features that you know people already love about you. Focus on your abilities and the talents that you do have. You have been blessed with all of the above, and that makes you worth getting to know in my book. — Dan Pearce

It's totally fine," I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. "She's totally housebroken. She'll go to the door and spit on it when she needs to go out. — Tara Sivec

The whole struggle of our Party (and of the working class movement in Europe generally) must be directed against opportunism. The latter is not a current of opinion, not a tendency; it (opportunism) has now become the organised tool of the bourgeoisie within the working class movement. — Vladimir Lenin

I hate being mean. I watch those roasts on Comedy Central and they make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. — Julie Brown