Mashable Comedian Quotes & Sayings

There's not enough coffee in the world to fuel all the books I want to write — Christopher Stocking

It is not more than you can handle. It is merely more than you thought you could do. — Laura Breckenridge

Most people go along with the crowd. They do things because everybody else does it. — Robert T. Kiyosaki

Like lightning she snatched her axe, and struck him on the neck - deep - once - twice - his life-blood gushed out, staining her feet.
The stars touched midnight. — Clemence Housman

I prefer for things to happen serendipitously, but honestly, I also love terrible pickup lines. — Angela Sarafyan

Lincoln likely concluded - was, as Jackson had put it, "fallacious" in its justifications and, "in direct violation of their duty as citizens of the United States, contrary to the laws of their country, subversive of its Constitution, and having for its object the destruction of the Union." As Jackson had bluntly concluded: "Disunion by armed force is treason. — Harold Holzer

The United States, almost alone today, offers the liberties and the privileges and the tools of freedom. In this land the citizens are still invited to write their plays and books, to paint their pictures, to meet for discussion, to dissent as well as to agree, to mount soapboxes in the public square, to enjoy education in all subjects without censorship, to hold court and judge one another, to compose music, to talk politics with their neighbors without wondering whether the secret police are listening, to exchange ideas as well as goods, to kid the government when it needs kidding, and to read real news of real events instead of phony news manufactured by a paid agent of the state. This is a fact and should give every person pause. — E.B. White

Of course, everyone has something wrong with him, that's for sure, but this guy probably had something really wrong. Perhaps — Nora Ephron

Of all the advice I can give someone...this is the most important: Never mess with a coconut salesman. A sharp machete is always at hand. — Dean MacAllister

I would love to do a Western someday. Every time I watch any of them, I'm so envious. — Sarah Clarke

If you're an artist trying to put out your own record on your own label, it's hard to get a distribution deal because no one wants to sign a deal with one entity. They want to sign distribution deals with labels, who have lots of product, lots of artists. — Aimee Mann

The Non-Conformist Conscience makes cowards of us all. — Max Beerbohm