Quotes & Sayings About Marriage Life Funny

Only about 3 percent of animal species are monogamous. A couple of penguins, some otters and a few other oddball critters. To these select few it comes natural to mate for life and never look at another member of the opposite sex. Humans are not part of that little club. Like the other 97% of species, humans are not monogamous by nature. We just pretend that we are. — Oliver Markus

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

You know what's funny? I don't ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don't see that happening to me. — Harry Connick Jr.

Marriage - as its veterans know well - is the continuous process of getting used to things you hadn't expected. — Thomas Mullen

Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life. — David Niven

All my life, I thought I was this independent woman. I was on all the right committees, made speeches for all the right causes, traveled all over the world. I had my little part-time job, I made all my own decisions, but ... there was always someone there to fall back on when things went bad. Funny, how after so many years of marriage you don't think about how much you depend on the other person until ... well, until they're gone. And then of course there's just the whole system in the city. Your doctor, your pharmacist, your plumber, your vet ... there's always someone there. You never have to find out ... how much you can't do. — Donna Ball

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. — Woody Allen

Such disappointments, betrayals and reconciliations were the stuff of married life, but she and Jack had gone through them before the wedding. Now, at least, she felt confident that she knew him. Nothing was likely to surprise her. It was a funny way to do things, but it might be better than making your vows first and getting to know your spouse afterward. — Ken Follett

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. — Henny Youngman

In real life, couples bond and war over a million different things. The causes of divorce are like beautiful, unique snowflakes. — Howard Mittelmark

Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all. — Matshona Dhliwayo

Who knows what kind of marriage they have? The kinds of marriage people have in this country, Bo, very strange. It's not like back home where a man can do as he sees fit and a woman follows him. Over here it's reversed. Women tell their men what they want and the men do it, because they say happy wife, happy life. This society is funny. — Imbolo Mbue

Most of a husband's life is spent in doing research on his wife. — Pawan Mishra

The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. — Russell M. Nelson

The issue of who will throw the garbage won't be so trivial when no one is throwing it away, and it starts to stink. When the plates pile up in the kitchen sink, or when the bathroom is grimy and the shampoo ran out. No, it won't be funny then. — Eeva Lancaster

Her voice was erudite, interesting; the voice of someone who straddled two cultures with a surety and style that I wished my boyfriend could find. She was smart, funny, and, above all, completely capable of controlling her life and what happened to it. — Ruth Ahmed

Marriage is making you soft."
"Actually, it's making me hard. — Vicky Dreiling