Mark Twain Satire Quotes & Sayings

Self-righteousness, when you think about it, is a contra-indicator of self-esteem. It's what sets in when genuine righteousness eludes us. — Meghan Daum

If ye were no longer there - or somewhere - " he said very softly, "then the sun would no longer come up or go down." He lifted my hand and kissed it, very gently. He laid it, closed around my ring, upon my chest, rose, and left. — Diana Gabaldon

An oyster has hardly any more reasoning power than a scientist has; and so it it is reasonably certain that this one jumped to the conclusion that the nineteen million years was a preparation for him; but that would be just like an oyster, which is the most conceited animal there is, except man. And anyway, this one could not know, at that early date, that he was only an incident in a scheme, and that there was some more in the scheme yet. — Mark Twain

Power breeds resentment and withers the slow-growing plant that is trust, and people who use it to capture others not only fail to make friends but often end up captives themselves. And perhaps what is sadder still is that when you control other people you take away all that there might be in a real encounter with them and replace it with your fears. And while you might get gratitude for a while, or guilt and tears, you won't get what they had to offer if you'd let them give you what was really in their hearts. — Merle Shain

Menshikov wants to see the old gold swallowed by Apophis. He wants to see the world plunged into darkness and chaos. He is quite insane.
"Oh."
[great response, I know. But what do you say to a story like that?] — Rick Riordan

When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum. — Mark Twain

Only together do Europe and the U.S. stand a chance of keeping liberal democracy as the central doctrine for organizing world affairs. — Victor Ponta

I never wanted to sing. I just wanted to play rhythm guitar - hide in the back and just play. — Kurt Cobain

He would be a consul no doubt by and by, at some foreign port, of the language of which he was ignorant; though if ignorance of language were a qualification he might have been a consul at home. — Mark Twain

Given that we cannot know all the elements in a problem, we never can solve it. — Fernando Pessoa

You have a very open relationship with your fans."
"Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers. — Neil Gaiman

I actually think 'Sex and the City' helped share how complicated it all is, to be a wife, a mother, and working, and a sexual being. — Kim Cattrall

And be grateful. Our scars have the power to remind us that the past was real. — Hannibal

An honest politician is an oxymoron. — Mark Twain

The one thing coaches cannot tolerate ... is the individual who grows arrogant because he excelled at a lower level and believes he has nothing else to learn. — Zig Ziglar

LEARN FROM THE MASTERS:
Mark Twain once said, "Show, don't tell." This is an incredibly important lesson for writers to remember; never get such a giant head that you feel entitled to throw around obscure phrases like "Show, don't tell." Thanks for nothing, Mr. Cryptic. — Colin Nissan

Man is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight — Mark Twain