Quotes & Sayings About Life Calvin And Hobbes

12/18/89 Calvin asks Hobbes if he'll help him write a book. Calvin says this book will be like historical fiction. He's writing a fictional autobiography. He tells Hobbes it's the story of his life with a lot of parts completely made up. Hobbes asks why he'd want to make up his whole life. Calvin replies that in his book, he has a flame thrower. — Steve Kurtz

Calvin: "I read this library book you got me."
Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?"
Calvin: "It really made me see things differently. It's given me a lot to think about."
Calvin's Mom: "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
Calvin: "It's complicating my life. Don't get me any more. — Bill Watterson

Mom says death is as natural as birth, and it's all part of the life cycle.
She says we don't really understand it, but there are many things we don't understand, and we just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have.
I guess that makes sense. — Bill Watterson

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. — Bill Watterson

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... procrastinating and rationalizing. — Bill Watterson

CALVIN:
Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?
When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny.
Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?
HOBBES:
I suppose if we couldn't laugh at the things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life. — Bill Watterson

Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win!
Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg!
[Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.]
Hobbes: Look, it's just a game.
Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life! — Bill Watterson

Reality continues to ruin my life. — Bill Watterson

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. — Bill Watterson

Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?!
Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.
Calvin: Oh. — Bill Watterson

Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure. — Bill Watterson

CALVIN:
This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?
If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?
And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?
HOBBES:
I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
CALVIN:
Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God. — Bill Watterson

My book is called, Shut Up And Stop Whining: How To Do Something With Your Life Besides Think About Yourself. — Bill Watterson

Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions. — Bill Watterson

Every day of my life I have to add another name to the list of people who p*ss me off
Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes — Bill Watterson

Calvin: Look, a dead bird!
Hobbes: It must've hit a window.
Calvin: Isn't it beautiful? It's so delicate. Sighhh ... once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize that nature is ruthless and our existence is very fragile, temporary, and precious. But to go on with your daily affairs, you can't really think about that ... which is probably why everyone takes the world for granted and why we act so thoughtlessly. It's very confusing. I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up.
Hobbes: No doubt. — Bill Watterson

Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan
when his dad said "Eat your peas."
Barney shouted no and ran
Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar
Barney's Mom never found out where he'd gone,
Cause Barney didn't tell her.
There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel
With every bite for fifty years
he was sorry he'd been cruel — Bill Watterson