Liberace Funny Quotes & Sayings

Advertising is not a rifle; it is a shotgun, and any campaign featuring outdoor boards of a cartoon animal inevitably will catch children in its spray. — Bob Garfield

Comics who grew up surviving their childhood by being able to be the first one to make the joke about their weight or their hairy arms - like me - whatever they're insecure about, whatever they're apologizing for, that becomes their strength. — Sarah Silverman

During my 'difficult teens,' I read about worlds that were mysterious. — Beeban Kidron

Love is like a rose, the joy of all the earth. — Christina Rossetti

That will be your married look, I, as a Christian, will soon give up the notion of consorting with a mere sprite or salamander. But what had you to ask, thing, - out with it?" "There, you are less than civil now; and I like rudeness a great deal better than flattery. I had rather be a thing than an angel. This is what I have to ask, - Why did you take such pains to make me believe you wished to marry Miss Ingram?" "Is that all? Thank God it is no worse!" And now he unknit his black brows; looked down, smiling at me, and stroked my hair, as if well pleased at seeing a danger averted. "I think I may confess," he continued, "even although I should make you a little indignant, Jane - and I have seen what a fire-spirit you can be when you are indignant. You glowed in the cool moonlight last night, when you mutinied against fate, and claimed your rank as my equal. Janet, by-the-bye, it was you who made me the offer. — Charlotte Bronte

People are worried about the degree to which corporate interest is starting to threaten human interest. — Edward Norton

Myth: Vampires can read minds.
Truth: Geez, I hope not. But it would explain some things about my mom. — Kimberly Pauley

The phrase 'off with the crack of the bat', while romantic, is really meaningless, since the outfielder should be in motion long before he hears the sound of the ball meeting the bat. — Joe DiMaggio

The word 'sin' is beautiful; it comes from a root which means 'forgetfulness'. You may not be able to see the connection between forgetfulness and sin, but there IS a connection: forgetfulness means unawareness, unconsciousness. — Rajneesh

Hi, Dean," Allie says breathlessly.
"Hey, Allie." His voice is like hot water sliding over a polished floor. "How's that boyfriend of yours treating you?"
Allie smiles, her face getting a little pink. "Really well, thanks."
"Good." Dean reaches out to give my long ponytail a gentle tug. "And how's that husband of yours treating you, Liv?"
I meet his gaze, my heart thumping at the potent combi- nation of heat and tenderness in his eyes. "He does all right."
"Guess he'd better work harder, huh?"
"Couldn't hurt."
"God, you two. Get a room." Allie fans herself with a magazine and rolls her eyes. — Nina Lane

God has set labor and rest, as day and night to men successive. — John Milton

When I do a cooking class now, I tell people that the most important part is to read the recipe many times so you know what you're doing. What I don't tell them, though, is that sometimes I do parties where I'm rushing so much I don't have time to follow my own advice. — Wolfgang Puck