Lazebnik Quotes & Sayings

Why are you asking me? I'm seventeen and don't know anything about what to do when you're autistic and gay. — Claire LaZebnik

Every time you look at a house in Los Angeles, the real-estate agent will tell you that someone famous once lived there. It always seemed irrelevant to me: Does a property gain value just because Alfred Hitchcock used to eat breakfast there? — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

[Ava] had always thought the main relationship in the family was the one between Nancy and her daughters. To have a family, you needed a father, of course, and Jimmy had played that role perfectly well, if you were okay with an old-fashioned interpretation of the job. But the Nickerson family was all about the women and their noisy, bickering, gossiping, interfering relationships with one another.
And now it seemed that maybe she ahd been looking at it all wrong. Maybe she and Lauren were just the icing, and the basic, underlying cake of the family was the couple in front of her who had a shared history she knew very little about. — Claire LaZebnik

Alex touches her arm. "You look nice."
"Nice?" she repeats. "Try harder, Alex."
He flushes adorably. "Really nice," he says.
"Next time, try this," Harry says. He reaches for my hand. "Franny, I didn't know what beauty was until I saw you walking toward us a minute ago.
"I like this better," I say, pulling away. "At least he sounded like he meant it."
"I meant it," Harry says, almost irritably. — Claire LaZebnik

You know, if you're going to take me aside when I'm behaving badly, I may start behaving worse. Just to get some attention from you." His eyes briefly catch the light and glow gray-green for a moment. "Possibly even some admiration. — Claire LaZebnik

I got lost in him, and it was the kind of lost that's exactly like being found. — Claire LaZebnik

I just called you corny and said you were wearing a green dress. That's, like, the least flirtatious thing anyone's ever said."
"I'm willing to believe it's the least flirtatious thing you've ever said."
"Why are you so hard on me when I'm so nice to you?"
"Why are you so nice to me when I'm so hard on you? — Claire LaZebnik

No one's family is normal. Normalcy is a lie invented by advertising agencies to make the rest of us feel inferior. — Claire LaZebnik

Okay. I've got one. Do you think Pluto should still be considered an actual planet in its own right?"
"Much better. And yes, I do. I had to memorize the planets when I was in third grade, and it was one of them, and I don't like having to relearn things. — Claire LaZebnik

Man, I hated not being able to figure someone out.
And from the slightly uncertain look he gave me as we all went to class, I suspected he felt the same way. — Claire LaZebnik

I was isolated but not ostracized, ignored but not abused. — Claire LaZebnik

Hilary says to her sister, "You can't eat only pie for lunch." "Just watch me." Lily plucks her ukulele out of the tote bag at her feet and strums it, singing, "Pie is fine. It's very nice/ Especially with lots of spice/ Like cinnamon and ginger too/ My sis would like it, but she's a poo." "Oh, well, that's brilliant," Hilary says. "Taylor Swift must be looking over her shoulder. — Claire LaZebnik

Everyone at Coral Tree Prep was good-looking. Really. Everyone. I didn't see a single fat or ugly kid all morning. Maybe they just locked them up at registration and didn't let them out again until graduation. — Claire LaZebnik

I'm a novelist who read a lot as a kid. When you grow up on books and then grow up to write books, famous authors are a lot more meaningful to you than TV and movie stars. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

Basically, the world is a giant shithole. But some of us are capable of imagining something better. — Claire LaZebnik

One advantage to having a kid on the spectrum: they tend to be rule followers. Socially, things are harder for them than most kids. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

Hope for the best, survive the worst, find humor wherever you can. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

"And then we played Ping-Pong - "
"Not pool? I always assumed he was a billiards man - I mean, it's so handy the way he keeps a stick up his - — Claire LaZebnik

He only invited me because of you and Chase.'
'Right,' she said, following me inside. 'He's never shown the slightest interest in you before. I mean, he's never stared at you like you're the only person in the room when we're all together. Or sulked around for days because you turned him down for a dance. Or touched the sleeve of your sweater when he thinks no one's looking-'
'He's never done any of that,' I said. Then, less confidently, 'Has he? — Claire LaZebnik

He was wearing a plain white oxford unbuttoned over a T-shirt, but something about the way they fit made him look put together, like an Abercrombie model (well, like an Abercrombie model who had remembered to put on a shirt that morning). — Claire LaZebnik

It occurs to me that, for all her flaws, my mother is a Very Nice Person. I go over to her and give her a hug.

"What's that for?" she asks.

"I don't know. Just felt like it. — Claire LaZebnik

Kids don't talk like adults, but kids on the spectrum don't necessarily fall into the same patterns of speaking or have the same interests as other kids their age. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

Every guy seems nice until he's not. — Claire LaZebnik

Franny stepped on a piece of glass," Alex explains.
James makes a little clucking noise of sympathy.
Julia says, "What are you guys doing here?"
"I decided a day at the beach sounded like fun, so James drove us here to meet up with you guys." Marie turns to Harry. "I don't see [i] you [/i] helping out with this operation."
"I'm providing moral support," he says airily. "It's a very challenging job."
"You trying to be moral? I'm sure it is," she counters archly. — Claire LaZebnik

He's never shown the slightest interest in you before. I mean, he's never stared at you like you're the only person in the room when we're al together. Or sulked around for days because you turned him down for a dance. Or touched the sleeve of your sweater when he thinks no one's looking - — Claire LaZebnik

Once your kid reaches middle school, parents are really supposed to fade out of the social picture. Kids are supposed to make their own plans, keep up with sophisticatedly crude discussions, and be able to go out on their own without supervision. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

He can't ground her if he's already killed her," I pointed out when Juliana quoted this to me. "Well, he can, but it wouldn't have the same impact. — Claire LaZebnik

For a long time our son was a little boy with autism, which was a certain kind of challenge. Now that he's a teenager with autism - and a teenager who notices girls - we're faced with something else altogether. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

Lawrence says, "I have an old maiden aunt too, and her place smells just like this. What [i] is [/i] that smell, anyway?"
"Age and desperation?" I suggest.
"Bitterness and despair?" Vanessa says.
"Baked fish?" says Harry.
"She does like tilapia," I admit. — Claire LaZebnik

WE LEAVE THE DORM, and Ethan shows us the gym, where he proudly informs us that in one month he's already doubled the weight he can curl, then the community room, which has an enormous flat-screen TV and a bunch of pinball and video games, then the computer room, and then his little corner patch of their big community garden, where he's growing lettuce and beets.

"But you don't eat vegetables," David says.

"Sammy says food tastes better when you grow it yourself."

"It's true," I say. David rolls his eyes and makes a snorting sound. "It is," I insist. "I once had a tomato plant, and I hate tomatoes, but I ate the one little tomato I succeeded in growing, and it was delicious. Then the plant died."

"I didn't want to grow tomatoes," Ethan says.

"I don't blame you. It only leads to heartbreak. — Claire LaZebnik

He smiled down into her eyes and she looked right at him and she knew him. When hadn't she known him? With a little sigh of acceptance, she moved into his arms, meeting his eager kiss with a mouth that was just as greedy as him — Claire LaZebnik

Thank you," she said. "That wasn't meant as a compliment," he said. "I was criticizing you." "That made the compliment all the more sincere," Lauren said. "You weren't trying to make one. — Claire LaZebnik

My son, who's on the spectrum is a very rigid thinker. He needs clear-cut definitions of right and wrong. Anything hazy or gray confuses him. For instance, if I try to get him to see that a friend behaved badly, he'll often get upset with me because a friend is a 'good guy' by definition, in his book. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

Should we tell your father I'm his date for the evening, or should I just surprise him?" She pulls out a piece of tomato, inspects it, scrapes something off it, then sticks it back on the hamburger.
"He won't notice," Hilary says. "He can't even tell me and Lily apart, and look at us. Just look at us."
"My dad never calls me by the right name," I say. "Only by my older sisters'. Sometimes he'll call me 'honey' really awkwardly. He's not the honey type, but it gets him out of having to remember my name."
Phoebe says, "All parents have trouble with names. I'm an only child, and my dad sometimes stops and says, 'Uh, you. — Claire LaZebnik

Don't think that there's a different, better child 'hiding' behind the autism. This is your child. Love the child in front of you. Encourage his strengths, celebrate his quirks, and improve his weaknesses, the way you would with any child. You may have to work harder on some of this, but that's the goal. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

You wouldn't think the touch of someone's hand could blow your mind. It's nothing, right? People don't right songs and poems about holding hands - they write them about kisses and sex and eternal love. I mean, when you're a little kid you hold hands with your parents to cross the street. Who's going to write an ode to that?
We were alone in the dark, even though the enormous theater was filled with probably a thousand people. We were a tiny island in a sea of other people who didn't matter, who had no meaning, who were so stupid, so oblivious, so stuck in their own boring lives that they didn't even notice the huge, momentous, life-shattering event that was taking place right there in row L, between seats 102 and 104.
Derek Edwards was holding my hand. — Claire LaZebnik

Well I'm not going to hope that you get hurt, but if you do, remember that you're my damsel in distress, and no one is allowed to carry you."

"I don't remember signing a contract."

"All the more reason to promise me now."

"What if you're not around when I get hurt?"

"Send word, I'll come running."

"How big an injury does it have to be? Because sometimes I do this thing when I stand up too quickly and my ankle kind of twists a little---"

"Sounds serious. You don't want to put any weight on that. I'd better carry you the next time that happens."

"What if I skin my knee?"

"I'll carry you."

"Charley horse?"

"I'll carry you."

"Chipped toenail?"

"Not worth taking a risk. I'll carry you."

I grin at him [...] I have to admit -- he's funnier and smarter than I've given him credit for. — Claire LaZebnik

I cursed myself not only for forgetting to turn my phone off but for ever thinking that having a rock music ringtone was cool. — Claire LaZebnik

We were alone in the dark, even though the enormous theater was filled with probably a thousand people. We were a tiny island in a sea of other people who didn't matter, who had no meaning, who were so stupid, so oblivious, so stuck in their own boring lives that they didn't even notice the huge, momentous, life-shattering event that was taking place right there in row L, between seats 102 and 104. — Claire LaZebnik

But I know how this romantic stuff works: one girl's perfect guy is another girl's reject. And right now I'm glad of it. — Claire LaZebnik

And Derek was ... what?
A pair of dark eyes that hid more than they revealed and some broad shoulders and a mouth that could be cold and thin and then suddenly widen into a generous grin just when you thought such a thing was impossible. — Claire LaZebnik

Isabella: "Why are you being so mean to me?"
Harry: "Because i love you"
Isabella: "Does that ever work?"
Harry: "On my mother it does."
Isabella: "I'm not your mother."
Harry: "I know that already, because I'm enjoying your company. — Claire LaZebnik

The world exploded into billions of atoms, and when it rearranged itself, it may have looked the same, but really, it was a Whole New World. — Claire LaZebnik

I want a tutor," Layla said. "It would make doing homework so much easier."
"Me too," said Kaitlyn. "If Layla gets one, I get one."
"No daughter of mine will ever have a tutor," Dad said.
"What if we're failing a course?" asked Layla.
His graying eyebrows drew together. "If you fail a single course, young lady, we will pull you out of school and get you a job scrubbing toilets for the rest of your life. — Claire LaZebnik

Value people because of who they were deep down, not because of their names or their parents' clout. — Claire LaZebnik

When our son's autism was diagnosed at the age of 2, there was no clear prognosis. We didn't even know if he'd ever learn to talk. But we found talented people to work with him and he improved, slowly at first and then more rapidly. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

Juliana's a year older than me, but she sometimes seems younger - mostly because she's the opposite of cynical and I'm the opposite of the opposite of cynical. — Claire LaZebnik

I love science. I hate supposition, superstition, exaggeration and falsified data. Show me the research, show me the results, show me the conclusions - and then show me some qualified peer reviews of all that. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik

Sometimes people say that kids with autism aren't capable of love. That's ridiculous. My son loves deeply. He just doesn't communicate well. — Claire Scovell LaZebnik