Laurenston Shelly Quotes & Sayings

What are you lookin' at me for? I'm a ray of fuckin' sunshine. — Shelly Laurenston

Who am I kidding? What am I going to do with a girl like her?"
"We had this talk when we were fourteen. I even brought my brother's Hustler for visual assistance. — Shelly Laurenston

What's the matter?" And she could hear the smile in his voice. "Cat got your crotch? — Shelly Laurenston

Relationships are one thing. I kind of agree with you there. But I'm talking
about sex. Don't you have ... uh ... needs?"
"Yes. But I take care of those by myself. I have a very handy vibrator. — Shelly Laurenston

I know she's weird. Her friends know she's weird. And we all accept it because she's weird, but also amazing. — Shelly Laurenston

I'm not a whore, Dee-Ann. You can't just come here to use and abuse me before going on your merry way. Unless, of course, you're naked. — Shelly Laurenston

I swear, Bobby Ray, you don't have the sense the Lord gave a rabbit. — Shelly Laurenston

i have a headache i bet thtat hammer will work — Shelly Laurenston

To quote my daddy, don't be such a pussy."

"But I am a pussy. — Shelly Laurenston

I have iced tea, dear. Or beer?"

"Maybe a saucer of milk?"

Gwen and Alla looked over at Lock and he immediately pointed at his father. "It was him," he lied. — Shelly Laurenston

Deny everything. Admit nothing. Demand proof — Shelly Laurenston

You can't be hungry."
"You keep saying that like you expect my answer to change. — Shelly Laurenston

Like all the Van Holtz males, Ric was tall, well-built with a slightly overdeveloped diver's body, and handsome. Yet handsome was only the first stop on the beauty train for Ric, who managed to head all the way into the station for The Land of Gorgeous. — Shelly Laurenston

Blayne turned her head to look at Gwen, but caught sight of Dee-Ann standing behind them.
"Ahh! Where the hell did you come from?"
"Momma says from the love she shares with my daddy," Dee calmly replied. — Shelly Laurenston

Zach shoveled another spoonful of Fruit Loops cereal with milk into his mouth. "It is not possible!"
"How do you know? Just because there's no proof to prove it, there's no proof to disprove it either."
"You're trying to make me crazy, aren't you?"
"Not at all." Sara put her bowl down. "I'm just saying there could be bunny shifters."
"There are no bunny shifters!"
Shaking her head she accused, "You're a bunny bigot."
Zach threw his spoon back in the near-empty bowl. "And there is no such thing as bunny bigots. — Shelly Laurenston

Smith shrugged and came over to Cella and Crush. Another shifter, a black bear, waited to lead them out, the security cameras conveniently and temporarily turned off.
"What did you really do to him?" Cella had to ask her.
"Nothin'."
"Smith," she said, stopping by the bear. "The man shit, pissed, and vomited after spending less than thirty minutes with you. There has to be a reason."
"Got me. All I did was stare at him until he told me something I could use."
The bear looked Smith over. "Did you stare at him with those eyes of yours?"
"I have my daddy's eyes."
"Annnnd, we now have our answer," Cella announced before they made their way out of the maximum security prison and headed home. — Shelly Laurenston

Good Lord, Rory Lee!" Ronnie snarled. "You don't throw babies! Especially mine!" "Look what he did to me!" Rory pointed at his unmarred neck. "What am I looking at?" Sissy Mae asked. "'Cause I don't see nothin'." "Just wait until the little bastard grows into his fangs," Rory promised. "Then you'll see! — Shelly Laurenston

Vig walked back to his truck. That's when Stieg drily asked, "Do you need another minute to blush coquettishly and dream about your perfect white wedding?"
As Vig walked around the front of his vehicle, he grabbed Stieg by the hair and slammed him face-first into the hood. — Shelly Laurenston

But she'd been wrong about Vig. He wasn't broken. He wasn't destroyed by a cruel society.
He was just an introvert with an aversion to shaving.
And he liked her.
Liked her, liked her. — Shelly Laurenston

Lessons? Oh no. I didn't need lessons." He glanced up and found her shaking her head in disgust at her own idiocy. "You see, Sissy said I wouldn't need lessons. 'You're a shifter,' she said. 'We can do anything,' she said. — Shelly Laurenston

Your charm makes me want to punch you in the nose."
That made Ricky chuckle. "I'm not trying to piss you off, darlin'. Just trying to get you to give me a chance."
"Why?" she had to ask. "I'm really not that interesting. I'm cute but not stunning. I'm not excessively tall. And sexually, I'm rather vanilla. So then what is it?"
Rickey decided to be honest with her. "I like your hair."
She suddenly went tense. "You don't have to be mean."
"I'm not. I like curls. If we have sex, can I play with them?"
"I don't even know how to respond to that. — Shelly Laurenston

Smitty leaned forward, resting his arms on this raised knees. "I am fixin' to get mad, Jessie.
"You're fixin' to get mad?"
"Yeah."
"Why don't you just get mad?"
"I'm not there yet. But I will be if you don't start talking to me."
Smitty to Jessie Ann — Shelly Laurenston

Fuck," Livy said as she buried her face in her hands. "What? What's wrong?" She looked at him. Actually, it was more of a scowl. She scowled at him. "I'm in love with you," Livy snapped. "And it's your fucking fault." "Uh ... sorry?" "Oh, shut up." "Well ... if it makes you feel better, I'm in love with you, too." "As a matter of fact, it doesn't make me feel better. — Shelly Laurenston

Uh ... could you leave him here? He kind of comes with the place."
Frowning, Lock glanced down. "Oh, jeez!" Oh, jeez? — Shelly Laurenston

The abnormally large female cut the sandwich into four pieces and gave one to each before taking one for herself. They all took a bite and she grinned at their appreciative groans. "See?" she said around a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly. "Isn't that good?"
"And so decadent," Berg sighed. "I feel like I'm eating evil. Pure, unadulterated evil."
"But good evil," Finn added. "The finest evil ever."
"Come!" Carl, the unabashed history fan and future historical "re-creator" of the lot - an activity Irene had always thought was an incredible waste of time for any human being with a brain - cried out,"Let us tell the others of this glory and what we have learned here today from the enemy She-wolf!"
"Huzzah!" they all cheered and ran out the kitchen back door. — Shelly Laurenston

I invited this old buddy of mine over for dinner. He's president of the United States of America, and he's bringing about three hundred people with him, but no problem, I'm sure we have something in the freezer. — Shelly Laurenston

Oh, come on, Jess!" May begged. "Just let me sit in it."
"No! It's mine!" Jess rested her head against Lock's shoulder. "All mine. My throne of power. By this chair I rule. — Shelly Laurenston

It's just taking some getting used to. The snarling, the hissing, the purring. Then I have to deal with it from the baby ... ."
"Ha, ha," Mace stated dryly. — Shelly Laurenston

She glanced down at the ground and the inert form of her brother. "What happened to Travis?"
Mitch winced. "I hit him with the door after I tore it off. It was a total accident."
"Marry me," she spouted before she could stop herself. — Shelly Laurenston

The elevator doors opened on the first floor and Van Holtz was waiting there with several bags of groceries in his hands.
"Oh. You," he said. He started to walk in and, without thinking, simply reacting, Bo shoved him back out of the elevator by his head and hit the elevator button again.
"You asshole!" Bo heard as the door closed. — Shelly Laurenston

He's jealous of you."
"Is that right?"
"Of course! Because no matter what he does, when he puts on your shorts and one of your bras, he never looks as cute in them as you do. — Shelly Laurenston

He should hate those nails. He normally considered that sort of thing tacky or gaudy, but damn if that look didn't work on her. And because it worked on her - it was really working on him. — Shelly Laurenston

Got any brothers or sisters?"
"No."
"Not a real chatty gal, are ya?"
"Exactly how am I supposed to expand on not having siblings? Should I cry?"
He smiled as he held up a bottle, "Wine? — Shelly Laurenston

I think that lion females are really lesbians and the males are used strictly for their sperm — Shelly Laurenston

Do you ride?"
She smiled, her fingers lightly sliding around his ear. "Not since I hit that barn"
Zach's hands paused on her flesh. "You hit a barn?"
"I had to avoid the cow — Shelly Laurenston

You're like seven feet tall, aren't you?"
"I am not seven feet tall," he snapped at her as if she'd really insulted him. "I'm six-eleven." When she smirked in disbelief, he added, "And three-quarters. — Shelly Laurenston

Don't yell at me." "This is not yelling. This is panicked loud talking! — Shelly Laurenston

Sissy Mae Smith ... stumbled into the room loaded down with even more bags. "You pack like a woman," she snarled when she finally dropped the luggage to the floor. "How can one man have so much conditioner?"
His mouth filled with French toast, Mitch pointed at his hair and snarled, "Tawny mane! Do you think this shit stays this beautiful on its own? It needs care and love! Which is more than I'm getting from you! — Shelly Laurenston

Now he was hungry, tired, and covered in boar's blood. He hated hunting his own food! — Shelly Laurenston

The last thing Mitch really remembered was ... being on top of Sissy. He'd had a split second of thinking, Wow. This feels really good. — Shelly Laurenston

Mace let out an exasperated sigh. "It's bad enough we have the baby. Which I was accepting of because he's mine."
"That's real big of ya, hoss. — Shelly Laurenston

,I like her." Because she makes you shine. — Shelly Laurenston

No more Karaoke for you!
Jessica
Apologize or your out!
But ... but you love me!
And we'll learn to live without you, too. unless you apologize. — Shelly Laurenston

He made it to the front door before he looked back at her. Then his eyes grew wide. "Oh! I almost forgot." He came back over to her and handed her a card.
"These are my numbers, e-mail addresses, business URL, physical address, and mailing address. You know ... if you need to get in touch with me."
Get in touch with him? But he left out his social security number, his date of birth, and his high school GPA. — Shelly Laurenston

She's spending the night here and she's more than welcome. She just went to bed about an hour ago after watching every move our doctor made." Without thinking, he carefully tucked the sheet around her body. "I'll make sure you're safe, doc. I promise." "I'm sorry," she said after several moments. "For what?" Irene shrugged, then grimaced, probably regretting the move, considering the pain it most likely caused. "For always thinking — Shelly Laurenston

Mace growled and wondered how much prison time a man would do for tossing his sister into the East River. — Shelly Laurenston

Mitch grabbed hold of the car keys and held them over his head so Sissy couldn't get them. She, in turn, grabbed his nuts and twisted until he gave her the damn keys. — Shelly Laurenston

She pushes you because she wants you to be the best."
"The best at what? Matricide? — Shelly Laurenston

Heifer."
"Rich man's whore!"
"At least mine can cook the food he eats. And replaces it, too."
"Now see, Dee-Ann Smith. That was just mean! — Shelly Laurenston

So, what happened to your face?"
Sara grabbed Miki by her T-shirt and jeans before she could dive over the counter at the Asian girl they called Kelly.
Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, "You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood."
Oh, yeah. That was subtle. — Shelly Laurenston

Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood. — Shelly Laurenston

She never discussed her past in detail, but a few tidbits she'd dropped here and there over the last few months they'd all been hanging together convinced Ronnie and Sissy that the woman hadn't merely lived on the wild side, but instead owned prime real estate there. — Shelly Laurenston

Can't introduce ya,' the feline admitted.
'Why not?'
'Don't know his name.'
'Snuggling up to a man y'all don't know. My momma was right. Yankees are whores.'
'Well, I know him,' MacDermot volumteered.
The She-wolf stared at her. 'So?'
'You said y'all.'
'I didn't say 'all y'all.' So I wasn't talking to you.'
'I don't understand your country-speak,' McDermot complained, dropping into the desk chair across from Crush. — Shelly Laurenston

Oh, my God! Gwen suddenly burst out, startling the bears in the room, which made the rest of the predators nervous. — Shelly Laurenston

She was thinking, I have a nut in my house. How do I get the nut out of my house? — Shelly Laurenston

Mitch stood. "How is this my fault? I'm not the one with the pussy that drains the life from a man!"
"And i'm not the one hung like an overendowed donkey — Shelly Laurenston

I've found it's never the animals you have to worry about, Miki. It's the humans. — Shelly Laurenston

He growled. Really, how attached could Smitty be to his sister? Would he really notice if Mace killed her? — Shelly Laurenston

Before Van realized it, he was walking her back toward her stairs. He didn't stop kissing her, he wouldn't. The last thing he wanted was for her to change her mind. He managed to get her to the upstairs hallway before she pulled her mouth away. "What are you doing?" she panted out.
"Taking you to your bed."
"Forget it."
And Van, if he were a crying man, would be sobbing. Until uptight Irene Conridge added, "The wall. Use the Wall. — Shelly Laurenston

Have you realized" MacRyrie asked her, "that you're just like Novikov but with more charm and no OCD?"
"The direct thing?"
"Yeah," both bear and wolf said at the same time.
"I like being direct. Then no one can hold shit over your head. Like when I got pregnant in high school. I ran around telling everybody. The nuns were horrified. But no one could shame me because I'd already put it all out there. For everybody! — Shelly Laurenston

But remember in tenth grade, when I wanted to go out with that junior and you said, 'Eh. I don't think she's the right girl for you'?"

"She wasn't."

"Because she was setting things on fire!" Ric announced loudly, making Gwen burst out laughing and Lock roll his eyes. "I'm serious, Gwen." Ric went on. "And when I say setting things on fire, I mean entire buildings. Mostly schools. She'd been setting them on fire or trying to, for weeks. I didn't find out until the cops came and arrested her during gym class. But does he say to me, 'She's setting things on fire! She's crazy! Stay away from her!' No. He says, 'Eh. I don't think she's the right girl for you.' And he's all calm about it over our chocolate pudding in the cafeteria."

"I don't see the point of getting hysterical. — Shelly Laurenston

It's handwritten," Freddy whispered.
"What is?"
He pointed at the sheets of paper
Coop held.
Glancing down, Coop shook his head.
"No, buddy. This is from a printer. It's
been typed."
"No. It hasn't. Me, Denny, and the
twins watched him do it for like an hour.
He wrote out each one. By hand. We had
to leave when Zoe began to cry. She was
completely freaked out." Freddy leaned
in a little bit more and again whispered,
"I think if she'd stayed any longer, she
would have stabbed him to death. And I
don't think the rest of us would have
tried to stop her. — Shelly Laurenston

No, he wasn't letting Dez MacDermot get away. He'd take her down like his ancestors took down full-grown zebra. — Shelly Laurenston

Because isn't that what the holidays are all about - letting your family make you wish you were an orphan? — Shelly Laurenston

Okay. Fine." Angelina was silent. For about fifteen seconds. "But you do know that a vibrator can't really be your boyfriend."
Miki dropped her head into her hands. "I will not discuss Mr. Happy with the likes of you."
Angelina sighed. "I find the fact that you named your vibrator disturbing on so many levels."
"Best relationship I've ever had. — Shelly Laurenston

Explain to me again how matricide is illegal in some states," Sissy growled from behind him as he pulled her toward the enormous staircase.
"In all states. Plus, I think there are some moral restrictions around it, too."
"That's not fair. Clearly, these lawmakers haven't met my mother."
"I wouldn't know. Besides, this is all so foreign to me," he explained once they hit the top step.
"My mother loves me and would do anything for me, so I've never had a desire to kill her." Light brown eyes abruptly narrowed.
"Throw that in my face again, and your sweet momma will be
nursing your mauled body back to health."
"Sweet talker. — Shelly Laurenston

You sniffed her ass, didn't you?
Conall didn't even bother hiding his grin. — Shelly Laurenston

If I were you, I wouldn't try and track her down."
"Why not?"
"Because when it comes to Dee, you're better off not knowing where she's going or what she's up to. You'll only have to lie to the authorities later. — Shelly Laurenston

Smiled at Smitty. Leered at Dez. And practically spit at Mace. Man, the staff at this restaurant really didn't like him. — Shelly Laurenston

Mitch opened his eyes, closed them, and then opened them wide. "There are big breasts in my face," he announced to anyone who would listen. — Shelly Laurenston

Smitty gave his best pout. "Why are y'all trying to hurt me?"
"Because it's fun?"
"It's easy."
"I love it when you cry."
Smitty sighed. "Forget I asked. — Shelly Laurenston

guys said a date didn't count if they hadn't been laid. — Shelly Laurenston

The first time he snarled, I had a bit of a panic attack."
"She screamed and threw him at me."
Dez scowled at Mace. "I did not throw my son at you. I just handed him over and walked quickly from the room so I could scream into a pillow in our bedroom."
"I found her under the bed with the dogs. — Shelly Laurenston

I'm okay," he reassured her before he could say something stupid. Like "marry me. — Shelly Laurenston

She couldn't get past him. After another minute, she screamed, You'll never take me alive! I'll never let you get me to a secondary location! — Shelly Laurenston

But Sissy had a way of bringing out the "fun" side of anybody if she'd a mind to. To quote Janie Mae, "Sissy came out of my womb with her middle finger raised. — Shelly Laurenston

I never knew she liked country music," Smitty said in awe.
Yeah, that must make her prime mate material for a Smith. She'll fit right in at one of your hootenannies."
-Mitch to Smitty — Shelly Laurenston

He mockingly gave her the raised eyebrow back. "You never gave me an answer."
"Yeah. I did. In fact, my exact words were 'no'."
"Yes, but I've chosen to ignore that until I hear what I want. — Shelly Laurenston

Do you think I'm pretty?"
Smitty glanced away from the computer screen he'd been staring at for the last three hours, looked at his sister, and shook his head. "No."
"What do ya mean no?"
"You asked. Sorry if you didn't like the answer. I always thought you were funny lookin'. Asked momma, 'What is that thing laying in your bed?' And she said, 'I found it hiding under a car, you be nice to it now. — Shelly Laurenston

He hitched Blayne up a little higher. "I have a question first."
"Of course I'll marry you! " Blayne cheered, throwing her arms around his neck.
"I wasn't going to ask that. "
"Oh." She un-hugged him. "Sorry."
"I was going to ask you that on Sunday. At three forty-five p.m. Before the surprise romantic dinner but after my Sunday laps in the pool. It was on myschedule!" he finished on a bellow.
"I know! " she bellowed back. "I saw it. You left it right out on the kitchen table! Was I supposed to ignore it? — Shelly Laurenston

Ulrich Van Holtz continued to read the latest tome on world economics, pretending to be bored, but in truth absolutely fascinated! — Shelly Laurenston

All right. Talk to me darlin'. You're not insane. A little crazy, but not insane. And this ... everything you've gotten ... in the last few days ... do you know how many people would kill for this?"
"But ... — Shelly Laurenston

Back then, they'd liked their cars the way they'd liked their men. Big, powerful, and mean. — Shelly Laurenston

Give her to me."
Turning away with his prize, Lock shook his head. "No. Get your own cat."
"She's my sister. — Shelly Laurenston

Gwen handed the bag to him. "Honey buns for my honey bun. — Shelly Laurenston

Conridge leaned across the table and touched Conall's arm. "I wouldn't worry." She motioned toward her husband. "I stabbed him in the leg and set his Mercedes on fire before I agreed to marry him. She just needs time."Conall frowned. "Uh ... thank you? — Shelly Laurenston

Why couldn't she get the man out of her mind? Because he reminded you what that hole between your legs is really for. — Shelly Laurenston

Don't be that way, Ric." She grabbed hold of Ric's T-shirt and pulled him over until his weight rested against her. She placed her hand against the back of his neck and lowered his head, placing it against her chest. Using her fingers, she eased around and found the swelling knot at the base of his skull and carefully placed the bag of ice there. "Doesn't that feel better?"
He grunted a little, his arms now wrapping around her waist, his face burrowing deep against her breast. After a moment, he settled and said, "Now it does."
Dee rolled her eyes in disgust. Honestly, wolves took any advantage they could get. At their core - they were all the same.
Horny, pathetic, and cute. — Shelly Laurenston

All right fine!" she snapped. "I'm in love with you. There. I said it. Now get over yourself."
"You know, I think those are the words written on the Taj Mahal: 'I said it. Now get over yourself.' Some of the greatest love stories have started with those words. — Shelly Laurenston

Do you mind if I ask you a question, darlin'?"
"Only if you stop calling me darlin'"
"Now where I come from that's a term of endearment."
"Really? Well, where I come from motherfucker is a term of endearment. Want me to start calling you that? — Shelly Laurenston

The entire floor teeming with full-humans watching their children skate, all of them hoping to be the breeder of the next gold Olympian. — Shelly Laurenston

Do you really think I'd let anything happen to you? That I'd let anyone hurt you? After everything I've done today to keep you breathing? — Shelly Laurenston

Lock grinned at Gwen. "He's fun," he said, reaching out and cuffing Mitch without even looking at him. "He just keeps trying to get back up." Bam! "It's great." Bam! "Like 'The Little Lion Who Could.'" Bam! — Shelly Laurenston

Attacking someone without warning for something they did weeks before? Check. Ready to turn a simple breed dispute into something far uglier with the razor blade she kept on her at all times? Check. Using blood as a weapon of rudeness? Check. Threatening death? Check. Attacking a helpful stranger or friend? Check. Kissing a helpful stranger or friend without warning or permission? Check.
Yeah, it only took Gwen six weeks to become her mother. — Shelly Laurenston

Mitch glanced at Ralph and back at Brendon. "I think he's snoring."
"Or those are hunger growls."
"Bastard. — Shelly Laurenston

Yes. I appreciate the helpful and long spreadsheet with all the many places you can't go. — Shelly Laurenston

Her eyes narrowed. "You're not going to kill me, skin me, and wear my head as a hat?"
Yep. He was entertained. And, no. It wasn't normal. Instead of answering her question, he asked his own. "Do you want me to?"
"Not really."
"Then why are you asking?"
"Because according to my father, many teachers, and quite a few anger-management counselors, I seem to lack that little internal device that stops things that are best left unsaid from being said. — Shelly Laurenston

Miki took her hands away from her ears. "Yup. I'm a very good girl."
Craig grimaced. "Don't say that."
"Why?"
"Because to guys it just means you swallow. — Shelly Laurenston

Surprisingly, Gwendolyn, I have more important things to do with my time, like put bamboo shoots under my nails or drill holes in all my teeth. — Shelly Laurenston

Oh, look. The idiot of the jungle awakens. — Shelly Laurenston