Lactose Quotes & Sayings

But poor Andy - even before he was skipped ahead a grade - had always been a chronically picked-upon kid: scrawny, twitchy, lactose-intolerant, with skin so pale it was almost transparent, and a penchant for throwing out words like 'noxious' and 'chthonic' in casual conversation. — Donna Tartt

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people. — Larry David

It's going to be legen ... wait for it ... and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is ... dairy! — Barney Stinson

The whole crew sat on the deck, without a storm or a monster attack to worry about for the first time in days, and ate ice cream. Well, except for Frank, who was lactose intolerant. He got an apple. — Rick Riordan

Fortified plant-based milks are delicious and contain all the calcium, protein, and vitamin D of dairy products but with none of the cholesterol, lactose, hormones, or cruelty found in cow's milk. — Ingrid Newkirk

The phytochemicals, antioxidants, and fiber- all of the healthful components of plant foods- originate in plants, not animals. If they are present, it is because the animal ate plants. And why should we go through an animal to get the benefits of the plants themselves? To consume unnecessary, unseemly, and unhealthy substances, such as saturated fat, animal protein, lactose, and dietary cholesterol, is to negate the benefits of the fiber, phytonutrients, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that are prevalent and inherent in plants. — Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

Getting calcium from plants might seem a little strange in a society that is so focused on dairy foods as a source of calcium, but some research suggests that even omnivores get as much as 40 percent of their calcium from plant foods. While a strong dairy lobby has convinced many consumers that milk and other dairy foods are essential for a healthy diet, the ability to drink milk into adulthood is not the norm throughout the world. Normal development throughout most of the world involves a gradual loss of the enzyme needed to digest milk sugar after children are weaned from breast milk. We refer to the lack of this enzyme as "lactose intolerance." But that's definitely a western bias since this "intolerance" is not a lack or an abnormality; it's part of normal human development in most people. — Jack Norris

When I was 23, 24, I used to have a really bad runny nose, mucus, tons of acne, reddishness all over. A woman on a bus I took looked at me and said I was lactose intolerant. (She said), 'Stop dairy for three days, and all this is going to go away.' I stopped dairy, and sure enough it was gone three days later, never to return except when I get dairy accidentally. — Woody Harrelson

The horse seemed to bend time and space as he ran, blurring the landscape and making Frank feel like he'd just drunk a gallon of whole milk without his lactose-intolerance medicine: Seven hundred and fifty miles per hour. Eight hundred. Eight hundred and three. Fast. very Fast. — Rick Riordan

Lactose intolerant milk?! KISS, MY, DICK! — Lewis Black

We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?! — Chris Rock

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant. — Margaret Cho

Frank: "I wish I was ADHD or dyslexic. All I got is lactose intolerance."
Percy: "Seriously?"
Frank: "And I love ice cream too ... — Rick Riordan

Me too!" Frank said. "I mean ... lactose intolerant. Not a reptile. Though I can be a reptile sometimes - — Rick Riordan

I used to have terrible acne on my face: red, splotchy discoloration. And mucus - I was constantly blowing my nose. Then one day, this woman sits down next to me on a bus, and says, 'You're lactose-intolerant.' It all cleared up in three days. That changed my life. Doctors couldn't figure it out. — Woody Harrelson

We play into the definitions and stereotypes others impose on us and accept the model-minority myth, thinking it's positive, but it's a trap just like any stereotype. They put a piece of model-minority cheese between the metal jaws of their mousetrap, but we're lactose intolerant anyway! We can't even eat the cheese. — Eddie Huang

I definitely felt out of place at first, not unlike being lactose intolerant in Wisconsin. — Jared Brock

You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live
your dream. — Daniel Tosh

Seeing as when it came to the milk of human kindness
they were all pretty much lactose intolerant. — J.L. Merrow

If you want to find missing children put their photo's on Soda Cans, beer cans and cigarette packs and you'll increase the odds by millions some people are lactose in tolerate. — Stanley Victor Paskavich

The marriage of a Jewish son is a bittersweet prospect. There is relief, always, that he has navigated the tantalizing and plentiful assemblies of non-Jewish women to whom the children of the Diaspora are inevitably exposed: from the moment he enters secondary school there is the constant anxiety that a blue-eyed Christina or Mary will lure him away from the tribe. Jewish men are widely known to be uxorious in all the most advantageous ways. And so each mother fears that, whether he be short and myopic, boorish or stupid or prone to discuss his lactose intolerance with strangers, whether he be blessed with a beard rising almost to meet his hairline, he is still within the danger zone. Somewhere out there is a shiksa with designs on her son. Jewish men make good husbands. It is the Jewish woman's blessing as a wife, and her curse as a mother. — Francesca Segal

It's probably those lactose-intolerant freaks. We all know there's nothing cool about intolerance. — Caprice Crane

Today I bought a small Frosty. This may not seem significant, but the fact is: I'm lactose intolerant. Purchasing a small Frosty, then, is no different than hiring someone to beat me. No different in essence. The only difference, which may or may not be essential, is that, during my torture, I am gazing upon your beautiful employees. — Joe Wenderoth

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese. — Jay London

Mrs. Francis, may I introduce the Scourge of the Skies, the Terror of Dairy Farmers, the Lord of Lactose, Master of the Cheese Pirates of Snow Monkey Island, Captain Cheesebeard. — Sean Cullen

A few small changes in your DNA can turn your eyes blue, make you lactose intolerant or put some curl in your hair. — Anne Wojcicki

I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable. — Lake Bell

And I'm all, "Do you want to get coffee? I have a bag of blood and ten thousand dollars in my messenger." The nosferatu can totally drink lattes as long as they put some blood in it, unless they're lactose intolerant. And he stops and looks at me. He's like, "Really, ten thousand? Think that will be enough?" And I'm like, "Well, you'll have to drink the cheap stuff, but I like to drink my lattes directly out of the veins of a toddler, and those little fuckers aren't cheap. — Christopher Moore