Kroll Quotes & Sayings

Trusting God is not by what you read or know...It is by doing what you have learned from His Word, Bible. — Woodrow Kroll

Oftentimes the shows that don't work help you get it right. — Nick Kroll

My first job. I got fired from this MTV prank show, or I didn't make the cut of what ended up being, as we all know, Boiling Points. It was my first professional job and I was bragging. — Nick Kroll

I've decided to just keep doing Oh, Hello, where I play an older man who thinks he's very cultured. That clearly has not gone away. — Nick Kroll

I would be psyched to get a phone call from Al Sharpton. I need to find out who does his hair. It's beautiful. It's a gorgeous mane. — Nick Kroll

This is a perfect example of the power and ridiculousness of a website like Wikipedia. I did give a slightly contentious graduation speech, where I decided not to be funny as my classmates had hoped, which was why I was chosen. I was not valedictorian, that's for sure. Instead, I talked about the failure to communicate between the administration and the teachers and students. That's what was contentious about it. At some point, somebody wrote about that incident on my Wikipedia page. And then somebody added the bit about me exposing my genitals to the crowd. — Nick Kroll

An attitude can murder just as easily as an ax. — Woodrow M. Kroll

In high school, I went to a place called the Mountain School. It's on a farm in Vermont, and I read Emerson and Thoreau and ran around the woods. Now I go hiking with a bunch of my comedy buddies. We talk about our emotions. I also do a lot of writing on hikes, just to get the blood flowing and the ideas moving. — Nick Kroll

Nothing is so sour that it can't be sweetened by a good attitude. — Woodrow M. Kroll

It's a real democratic time for comedy, and I think my special is a sign for that. You don't have to just be a classic stand-up to get a special, or you don't just have to be on Saturday Night Live to do characters and sketch on TV. The web has allowed me to show that there are different ways to make people laugh, and the special is a combination of those things. — Nick Kroll

Glory in Christ and you can bask in His light forever. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Richard Pilbrow's lighting can turn a coin into an asteroid and an idea into an apparition. — Jack Kroll

Did any artist ever bring more pure joy to more people than Fred Astaire? — Jack Kroll

At that instant i knew there was no horror the world could offer - no war, no genocide, no famine, no childhood cancer - to which Sidney Kroll would not see the funny side — Robert Harris

Like most lazy upper-middle-class kids, American Studies seemed like a fun way to use your knowledge of TV to get an A. — Nick Kroll

It's not that weird, but when I was in Peru, I ate a guinea pig. If you're going to eat guinea pig, you call it cuy. Cute word for such a cute little animal that I ate a few times. — Nick Kroll

I have never felt so close to someone I have never met. — Fiona Gold Kroll

Quite honestly, most people are quick to "write someone off." But our God is a God of the second chance. Learn from One who is patient with you, and you'll learn to be patient with others. — Woodrow M. Kroll

A comedian is sort of like a wild animal. It really just depends on where you catch them. Sometimes they want to cuddle up, and sometimes they'll snap at you. But for me, more often than not, if I'm talking to somebody who makes their living in comedy, it'll be a very thoughtful conversation driven from an emotionally honest place. — Nick Kroll

Really, I just love doing comedy. Any form it takes is great, as long as I can keep doing it, you know? If I can do my show and 'The League' while also getting to do other bits, that's awesome. — Nick Kroll

I was, like, a history major, and I minored in art and Spanish, but I found myself gravitating toward media studies as time went on. — Nick Kroll

When it comes to God's commands, the issue is not clarity; it's commitment. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Treat the elderly as a nonrenewable resource; they care! — Woodrow M. Kroll

I gave the graduation speech at my high school. Not because I was valedictorian but because the grade voted for me to do it. And I gave a slightly contentious speech. I was a little critical of the administration. But for a long time it said on Wikipedia that I took my balls out and exposed myself to the crowd. — Nick Kroll

Steve Rannazzisi, Nick Kroll, Paul Scheer, Jon Lajoie - and they're such funny guys that they bring their own sort of twist to it all. — Katie Aselton

You think you're going to be on TV a year out of college and you're not. Then you tell people and it's embarrassing. And then it's not a big deal at all. — Nick Kroll

For me, I was literally trying to stay afloat. I never actually thought I would get my own sketch show. So the idea that one day I would have my own show is pretty wild. But once I got it, I thought, 'Yeah, this is exactly what I always wanted to do.' — Nick Kroll

Robert Altman made that movie Kansas City about the jazz scene in the city, and we saw that band all together, and that was an amazing show. That's what I got into. I like jazz. — Nick Kroll

In L.A., you really are in your car all day alone, and there's very little public life. — Nick Kroll

I like an otter. I like a sea lion. I like a walrus. That's my favorite version of a sea creature. — Nick Kroll

No doubt there are people who are our guests [ in Oh, Hello] who are more famous, but to me, Mel Brooks is the most famous person. So that was really cool. — Nick Kroll

I tend to play sort of douchey. — Nick Kroll

I feel incredibly lucky at this moment in my career to get paid to do basically exactly what I always wanted to do. I appreciate that in general. But you know, like any job, a job is a job, and there are days that are going to be boring, or you have a boss you don't like, or people you work with. — Nick Kroll

For me, the goal wasn't to turn the stand-up special on its head, but to do what I do specifically, and hopefully that reads as something new. — Nick Kroll

Whether it's corporate investigations or comedy, there are certain inherent truths to trying to get what you want while trying to be a decent person doing it. — Nick Kroll

I was going to have Brian La Croix do a cameo on Degrassi. But, unfortunately, the scheduling didn't work out. When I was in Toronto, they weren't shooting. To me, that would've been a pretty crazy meta experience. — Nick Kroll

I think that the web and its various facets are incredibly useful in just building a fan base and getting your chops better. — Nick Kroll

I think my goal was just to do comedy, honestly. It still is. Whatever form that took or takes, it doesn't matter. — Nick Kroll

Concentrate on counting your blessings and you'll have little time to count anything else. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Prayer is never complete until God has answered. — Woodrow M. Kroll

When adultery walks in, everything worth having walks out. — Woodrow M. Kroll

I like to think that the stuff I do is oftentimes collaborative, so to have other people in it felt natural. — Nick Kroll

People want to consume what you're putting out there, and you can create a really strong following of fans and admirers, and people who are invested in your career and your comedy. — Nick Kroll

The National is the most advanced package of technological wonders yet assembled under one roof. — Jack Kroll

My thinking is, if we're setting out to make comedy in which nothing is off limits, then everybody is fair game. — Nick Kroll

My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don't know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny. — Nick Kroll

There's one theory that the funnier a comic is in his act, the more mind-numbingly boring he'll be when he's not holding a microphone. — Nick Kroll

For me, the best characters are the ones that feel fully formed inside and out, so I try to have a very clear vision of exactly what they would wear, top to bottom, who they are, what their backstory is, what their family situation is, who are their friends, just creating as much of a three-dimensional character [as possible]. Because I think you could do a very broad character, but as long as there's some emotional truth to them you can get away with really crazy things. — Nick Kroll

Everybody gets better looking on TV as shows go on.Even the nerds on "Big Bang Theory" are getting better looking. Their clothes are getting nicer. They're better groomed. It works for them. — Nick Kroll

Anyone you give a ton of money to is going to go slightly crazy. I don't think comedians are particularly special in that regard; they just are better or more vocal in their expressions of their craziness. — Nick Kroll

I feel like we have so many different ways to express ourselves now, and I relish, I feel very lucky to be doing comedy. — Nick Kroll

I came to New York and started doing stand-up and improv, and started auditioning for commercials and voiceovers and stuff. My first job was on a pilot of that prank show called 'Boiling Points' on MTV. — Nick Kroll

I'm really into pandas right now. They're really scratching an itch for me. They're so goddamn cute. — Nick Kroll

As long as it's not an easy, outdated stereotype and it comes from an interesting or emotionally driven place, then anyone can be made fun of. — Nick Kroll

It was easier to know a character's point of view than it was to figure out what your point of view was. — Nick Kroll

There's just a feeling, when you're just an actor - I have great admiration for people who are just actors. I don't understand it, the idea of waiting to get cast, being at the whim of others. I find it incredibly powerless and frightening, so that's why I've been constantly trying to create my own content. — Nick Kroll

My goal was to do something that incorporated all the stuff I do and have it feel like something new, like it was hopefully taking the stand-up special paradigm and turning it on its head. — Nick Kroll

If our minds are stayed upon God, His peace will rule the affairs entertained by our minds. If, on the other hand, we allow our minds to dwell on the cares of this world, God's peace will be far from our thoughts. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Really, more than anything, The 2000 Year Old Man is a huge influence on all of our comedy, but specifically the live version of Oh, Hello. — Nick Kroll

He was one of those inexplicable gifts of nature, an artist who leaps over boundaries, changes our nervous systems, creates a new language, transmits new kinds of joy to our startled senses and spirits. — Jack Kroll

Pray according to faith, not circumstances. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Sometimes shows suffer from having many cooks in the kitchen. — Nick Kroll

My best friend, Andrew Goldberg - and this is genuinely not me trying to cross-promote, but this new Netflix show I'm doing called Big Mouth is about me and my best friend, Andrew Goldberg, from childhood - but there was a year when I went to his house after school every day and we watched Wayne's World and ate Doritos. — Nick Kroll

There cannot be an answer until there is a prayer. — Woodrow M. Kroll

I think that being on the road and doing more and more stand-up has allowed me to figure out ... like, I don't think I'll ever be Bill Hicks, but I think I'm figuring out what my opinion is on things. — Nick Kroll

Wrap up the 20th century; Fred Astaire is gone. — Jack Kroll

I know it's going to sound cheesy, but I love show business. I love doing comedy, I love that I get to do all this with my friends. — Nick Kroll

What business would judged on the first week that it's in business? — Nick Kroll

My experience in TV is that it takes time for shows to find their way. — Nick Kroll

I had PubLIZity, I had Oh, Hello, I had Bobby and Farley - all of these sketches that were really these duo sketches, but the relationship between them is really what catapulted them forward. A lot of that, I think, came from Wayne and Garth, these two similar guys - they're Midwestern metal guys - but in the end, they're quite different because there's an alpha and a beta. And I think that model became very present for me on Kroll Show. — Nick Kroll

In New York, you are forced into having very public lives and observing all types of people, what they sound like, what they're reading, what they smell like, what they are listening to, how they talk to their friends. — Nick Kroll

Don't settle for wishful thinking; make peace in your heart a reality. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Don't watch Kroll Show if you don't have a Nielsen box. I honestly don't care. Feel free to DVR it and not watch it because that will somehow help my ratings maybe, but honestly I'm talking to the four of you with a Nielsen box. If you have a Nielsen box, like, who are you? Where do you live? How do I find you? You're a unicorn and I don't believe that you exist. — Nick Kroll

Ultimately, all our complaints are directed against God. — Woodrow M. Kroll

A moment of prayerful reflection can prevent a lifetime of bitter regret. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Seinfeld has his way of telling jokes - and I'm not comparing myself to Seinfeld, his genius is observing the small details of everyday life and finding humor in it. — Nick Kroll

It was sort of in the jam-band era and it was at the Capitol Theatre in Port Chester [New York], right where I grew up. I actually went back there a couple years ago when I was on tour for Kroll Show. I performed at that theater, which was really cool to go back to the first place I'd gone to a concert. — Nick Kroll

It's always weird to eat something that is a pet elsewhere. — Nick Kroll

I'm sure there are people who say like, "I was wearing weird emo eyeliner," but there's something pretty embarrassing about the jazz phase. — Nick Kroll

What you can't go through on your own, God will help you fly over. — Woodrow Kroll

Music was not a big deal to me when I was in middle school. And then I slowly became a big jazz fan. Even more than concerts, a lot of my high school time was spent going to jazz clubs in the city. — Nick Kroll

Mel Brooks came to see Oh, Hello in L.A. Mulaney and I had a meeting with him, and we invited him to come to the show, and he saw the Oh, Hello show live in L.A. To me, he's the most famous person. Having him come to our show that was so inspired by both of us loving The Producers and all his movies. — Nick Kroll

Woodrow Kroll is dead-on in his assessment of the church's lack of engagement with the Word. — Howard G. Hendricks

The prayer is up to us; the answer is up to God. — Woodrow M. Kroll

In general in comedy, there are fewer people making a ton of money and a lot more people making a living. For me, the goal is just being able to make exactly the show I wanted to make. — Nick Kroll

Victory is never won alone. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Prayer only works when the channels are open. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Contrary to widespread belief, I do know something about science. — Nick Kroll

Immediate, glad obedience to God sets our course on the sea of happiness. Disobedience drops anchor in the sea of despair.Godly living means no regrets about yesterday, no embarrassments today, no schemes for tomorrow. Trust and let the One who holds both the past and future be your Guide for the present. — Woodrow Kroll

The immediacy of public interaction is just unbeatable. — Nick Kroll

I found, especially with stand-up, that if a premise works, you can make the joke work. If a premise doesn't work, you can't force it to. — Nick Kroll

I like the idea of people getting to know you from different angles and then realizing "That guy is also that guy!" "Oh, he does that!" I really like having a number of different ways to reach people. — Nick Kroll

My friends, we all improvise together usually. So we write what I think is a good script but always leave a lot of room to find stuff on the day; and we always do find something. That's the advantage to having actors who are, in their own right, writers. — Nick Kroll

The one place I've seen something really come together is in editing. Sometimes you can save pieces in a way that you're really shocked. — Nick Kroll

My first concert isn't that cool or ironic. I wish it had been like, "My first concert was the Backstreet Boys," but the first concert I went to, I think, was this band called The Samples. — Nick Kroll

I like to turn on the TV and watch whatever's on. Nick Kroll does that a lot. He doesn't watch important shows. He'll just turn on a documentary on Mia Hamm and watch it for an hour. Whatever's on, we watch. — John Mulaney

Go ahead and make up a ton of lies about me. That's way more interesting than pretending Wikipedia has any real information. — Nick Kroll

It's almost worse because you think that you're mature and classic when you're in the newsie cap jazz phase. It's not a great look, a young person trying to seem old and mature and cultured. That's a summarily not-cool look. — Nick Kroll

He is a poor man who can only measure his wealth in dollars. — Woodrow M. Kroll

Although I'm a comedian, I'm also an amateur survivalist. — Nick Kroll