Klepper Quotes & Sayings

I don't think I'm in the position to bestow legitimacy on anyone. — A. J. Jacobs

God does not punish us for our sins but by them. — Ruth Graham

I was a giant fan of 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' in high school, and I was obsessed with Jim Carrey and cut out any picture of Jim Carrey that ever came in any kind of magazine. I put it all over my walls. At the time, I thought humor was just repeating lines from 'Ace Ventura' ad nauseum in the back of my advanced math class. — Jordan Klepper

Means to be means must always be within our reach, and so ahimsa is our supreme duty. — Mahatma Gandhi

And Toronto's own Sergio Trujillo has redone his choreography totally, showing all the comical invention that we know he's capable of. — Richard Ouzounian

I like to do as much improv as I can do. — Jordan Klepper

Every principle of liberty enunciated in any civilized country on earth, with very few exceptions, was intended entirely for men, and when women tried to force the putting into practice of these principles, for women, then they discovered they had come into a very, very unpleasant situation indeed. — Emmeline Pankhurst

Oh man, there's no shortage of craziness happening on the American landscape right now. I'll turn on the TV every day or check out the newspaper, and there is something to find humor in or something to find absolute fear in. Either way, it makes for good comedy. — Jordan Klepper

I'm definitely not at my best. Honestly, I'm under 50 percent. But I've won stuff under 50 percent before. — Serena Williams

When I saw him look at me with lust, I dropped my eyes but, in glancing away from him, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. And I saw myself, suddenly, as he saw me, my pale face, the way the muscles in my neck stuck out like thin wire. I saw how much that cruel necklace became me. And, for the first time in my innocent and confined life, I sensed in myself a potentiality for corruption that took my breath away. — Angela Carter

No matter what Donald Trump says, it's clear that global warming is rapidly changing conditions on our planet. — Elizabeth Kolbert

Reincarnation is a story we tell; then in the end it's the story itself that is the reincarnation. — Kim Stanley Robinson

I grew up a geek. I added comedy to it midway through high school. — Jordan Klepper

Ours is a bourgeois civilization. I am not using this term in its Marxian sense. Chicken! In the vocabularies of modern art and religion it is bourgeois to consider that the universe was made for our safe use and to give us comfort, ease, and support. Light travels at a quarter of a million miles per second so that we can see to comb our hair or read in the paper that ham hocks are cheaper than yesterday. De Tocqueville considered the impulse toward well-being as one of the strongest impulses of a democratic society. He can't be blamed for underestimating the destructive powers generated by this same impulse. — Saul Bellow

The neoconservatives have tried, in a form of political jujitsu, to brand any criticism of Israel (not to mention themselves) as anti-Israel. — Jacob Heilbrunn