Quotes & Sayings About Kinky

I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass. — Kinky Friedman

You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that. — Kinky Friedman

In this country, some aristocratic families automatically categorize persons with dark skin, thick lips, and kinky hair as "Barias" [Amharic for slave] ... let it be clear to everybody that I shall soon make these ignoramuses stoop and grind corn! — Mengistu Haile Mariam

I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans. — Kinky Friedman

Young people are the key to this election. — Kinky Friedman

I paint stupid things; that's what I do. I can't think of anything more boring than a really beautiful thing. You have to mess it up. There has to be something a little kinky to keep their attention. — Billy Al Bengston

What kind of kinky robotic sex did you subject him to?" "Aramus!" His wife colored as she uttered his name in a shocked tone. "Oh, come on. Anyone can tell what they were up to. How do we know that's not what made him collapse? The boy was still recovering." "As if a little sex could take down one of you metal nuts, — Eve Langlais

Livingston, if you could read my mind, you would start feeling really shy around me. — Katy Evans

It will never belong in a Hallmark card, but I drove a car into a house and killed a man for you. You chained me up for days and I still wanted to come back and talk over our darkly sordid, slightly kinky, and a lot warped relationship. Face it, you're stuck with me. — Kylie Scott

Good sex is about knowing each other's deepest and kinkiest desires. — Abhijit Naskar

First, they set the hook with mind-bending kinky shit. Then a year later you're living in a Talking Heads song, dressed like Teddy Ruxpin, living with a strange woman in a big house full of frilly throw pillows, experiencing the frequency of sex that can only be charted by Halley's Comet. and you're wondering: How did I get here? — Tim Dorsey

Stay Kind, Stay Kinky, Stay True — Lisa Fulham

But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream. — Kinky Friedman

The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one. — Kinky Friedman

We're going to make that Lone Star shine again — Kinky Friedman

Don't talk." Alec gestured at him with an expression of vague disgust.
"Every time I look at you, I keep remembering coming in here and seeing you draped all over my sister."
Jace sat up.
"I didn't hear about this."
"Oh, come on -" said Simon.
"Simon, you're blushing," observed Jace.
"And you're a vampire and almost never blush, so this better be really juicy. And weird. Were bicycles involved in some kinky way? Vaccum cleaners? Umbrellas?"
"Big umbrellas, or the little kind you get with drinks?" Alec asked.
"Does it matter - — Cassandra Clare

If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm. — Kinky Friedman

Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy. — Kinky Friedman

I don't apologize to people with an agenda. — Kinky Friedman

And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person. — Kinky Friedman

I admit I was drinking a Guinness ... but I did not swallow. — Kinky Friedman

My kinky, foul-mouthed romantic gentleman lover. — Raine Miller

I'm just an innocent racist who likes to flirt with young adult women And I meet emotionally retarded misfits who are kinky about infants' feet, scheming psychopaths, suicidal emos, brain dead skinheads and mestizos posing as white supremacists. — Greg Deane

'You remember asking me if I'd ever begged?'
I wiped the corner of my eyes, sniffed. 'Is this about to get kinky?' — Josh Lanyon

No black man wants a blue-eyed black child, and no white man wants a kinky-haired white child. Nature didn't mean it to be that way. — Muhammad Ali

The voluntary captive
The speechless the prisoner
Which I hide in my very depths ... — Anne Desclos

Regaring Politics: You've got your cats on one side and your dogs on the other; someone has to walk the fence and feed the animals. - Kinky Friedman — Ray Palla

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on a saddle. — Kinky Friedman

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime. — Kinky Friedman

By my makeup and temperament I wasn't really prey to physical desires. Everything happened in my head. — Anne Desclos

I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain. — Kinky Friedman

One corner of his mouth twitched. "Should I consider that a warning?"
"Just don't be surprised if you find yourself riding a bolt of lightning if you piss me off."
"I'm into kinky shit, so that works. — Larissa Ione

I believe that voices like Ross Perot (search), Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance. — Kinky Friedman

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions. — Kinky Friedman

This diary will tell the real life story of my great-grandmother Yasutani Jiko. She was a nun and a novelist and New Woman7 of the Taisho era.8 She was also an anarchist and a feminist who had plenty of lovers, both males and females, but she was never kinky or nasty. And even though I may end up mentioning some of her love affairs, everything I write will be historically true and empowering to women, and not a lot of foolish geisha crap. So if kinky nasty things are your pleasure, please close this book and give it to your wife or co-worker and save yourself a lot of time and trouble. 4. — Ruth Ozeki

If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right. — Kinky Friedman

All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am. — Kinky Friedman

Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other. — Kinky Friedman

Happiness is a moving target. — Kinky Friedman

So." Dave raised his arms. "I am ready to claim my destiny. To be a leader for the nonstraight kinky masses."
"All hail gay kinky Jesus!" Kamen yelled.
We all chanted for gay kinky Jesus.
Dave raised his arms higher. "I shall lead my people into the light. And then I shall be martyred on the St. Andrew's cross."
Gould and I groaned. Dave looked at us. "Too soon?"
Gould shrugged. "Well, no. It's been like two thousand years. — J.A. Rock

I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun. — Kinky Friedman

Tantric Zen is not being kinky; nor is it being conservative and austere. It is eclectic. It is a real mixture of all things. — Frederick Lenz

I'm sure no intelligent white person in his or her right white mind, want black men and women marrying their white sons and daughters and in return introducing their grandchildren to half brown, kinky haired black people. — Muhammad Ali

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system. — Kinky Friedman

Mom, this isn't what it looks like."
Mom put her hand on her hip. "It looks like a group of boys wrestling on the floor of your bedroom while you watch. Wearing a towel."
"Okay," I admitted, "it is what it looks like, but it's not - "
"Sexual?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Mom!"
Luna stuck her head under Mom's arm and sucked in a breath. "She's gone from a love triangle to a kinky sex pentagon. — A&E Kirk

Is this one of those contracts like in that kinky book where we outline what we're willing to do or not do during sex? Like our hard limits and safe words? — Katie Ashley

If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins. — Kinky Friedman

The best fiction is true. — Kinky Friedman

The Poodle
The poodle -- nature's most perfect food -- was invented by Otto Van Plotsberg in 1872. According to Van Plotsberg he had only just begun experimenting with kinky hair and extra toes when he happened upon the formula for poodles. Van Plotsberg's first poodles sported only one leg -- a stumpy appendage protruding from the center of the body. These crude early versions (commonly inverted and used as hat stands) were soon abandoned in favor of the superior French model, which featured a winning smile and four limbs positioned strategically around the torso. Thus began the dizzying proliferation of the modern-day poodle -- hampered temporarily by a 1909 decree which stated that "Henceforth all poodles shall bear the name Svee," marking a slight decline in the population until the edict was overturned. Today, poodles inhabit every corner of the earth. Witness the African Killer Poodle, The Wild Poodles of Borneo, and the elusive Giant Swamp Poodle of Denchai. — Elyse Friedman

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow. — Kinky Friedman

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive. — Kinky Friedman

I saw two birds having dangerously kinky sex on the main road, while several cars ran above them just missing the sparrows' toss and tumble fly away. The couple survived to try it again next season on a railway line! — Initially NO

If ever thou be'st bound in thy scarf and beaten, thou shalt find what it is to be proud of thy bondage. — William Shakespeare

Spanish, huh?" he said, glancing down at the scattered papers as he grabbed them. "Can you say anything interesting?"
"El tono de tu voz hace que queria estrangularme." I stood up and waited for him to hand over my papers.
"That sounds sexy," he said, getting to his feet and handing me the stack of Spanish work he'd swept together. "What's it mean?"
"The sound of your voice makes me want to strangle myself."
"Kinky. — Kody Keplinger

Eventually I fell asleep in the Rabies and Lycanthropy section. Woolsey bites on occasion, and I'm concerned.' - Magnus Bane — Cassandra Clare

We were a country band with a social conscience. — Kinky Friedman

I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate. — Kinky Friedman

The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important ... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas. — Kinky Friedman

[Hank] dumped the saddle on the ground as he set the sawhorse down. "Am I makin' you nervous?"
"Not you so much as your unusual ... supplies."
That damnably alluring grin appeared again. "Ah, hell, darlin'. It ain't nothin'. We're just gonna have ourselves a private rodeo."
"Let me guess. Instead of bulls and broncs, you're gonna be ridin' me. — Lorelei James

I enjoy dating married men because they don't want anything kinky, like breakfast. — Joni Rodgers

What the hell is going on in here?"

Hannah jumps in surprise when Coach Jensen appears in the shower area.

Oh, hey, Coach," I call out. "Not what it looks like."

His dark brows knit in a displeased frown. "It looks like you're taking a shower in front of your girlfriend. In my locker room."

"Okay, then yeah, it's what it looks like. But I promise, it's all very PG. Well, except for the fact that I'm naked. But don't worry, no kinky shit is going to happen." I grin at him. "I'm trying to win her back."

Coach's mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. I can't tell if he's amused or pissed or ready to wash his hands of this whole thing. Finally, he nods and opts for option number three. "Carry on. — Elle Kennedy

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing. — Kinky Friedman

Hey, did you guys ... " Duncan was saying when he walked into my room. Apparently, since Finn had left the door open, he thought he could waltz on in.
"Sure, everybody just walk on in. It's not like I'm a Princess or anything and this is my private chamber." I sighed.
When Duncan saw the bizarre scene, he stopped and motioned to Loki. "Wait. Why is he here? He didn't spend the night with you two, did he?"
"Wendy is into some very kinky things that you wouldn't understand," Loki told him with a wink.
"Why are you here?" Finn demanded, and his eyes blazed.
"Will somebody please tell us what the hell is going on?"
"I would, but this is a private conversation." Finn kept his icy gaze locked on Loki, who looked completely unabashed.
"Come, now, Finn, there are no secrets between us." Loki grinned and gestured widely to Tove and me. — Amanda Hocking

Because of writers like Chinua Achebe and Camara Laye ... I realized that people like me, girls with skin the color of chocolate, whose kinky hair could not form ponytails, could also exist in literature. — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters. — Kinky Friedman

Ella squeezed, wringing a groan from his throat that echoed the torments of the damned. Usually, though, the damned didn't lean into the torment in a silent entreaty for more. Or so she assumed. She didn't think hell was likely to be kinky. — Christine Warren

Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas. — Kinky Friedman

On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'. — Kinky Friedman

When you have a cat you assume certain responsibilities that, in a spiritual sense, transcend those of a marital or a business relationship. — Kinky Friedman

Sometimes I think I'm kinky because I fantasize about slapping you. And then I realize I really just want to slap you. — Tiffany Reisz

To the outside world kinky people like us are always considered crazy. I think we're actually healthier, of course there's a few that are nuts but hey those normal people have their psychos too! — S.L. Walker

No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror. — Kinky Friedman

Smart as a whip, kinky enough to own one. — R.G. Alexander

I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation. — Kinky Friedman

Some dudes just know what they know, and they are fine with it. They might obsess with sex as much as you do, but never really explore some of the more advanced topics. These guys need their horizons expanded and you are just the girl to do it for him. — Roberto Hogue

The Ten Commandments being taken out of the public schools. I want them back. — Kinky Friedman

The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty. — Kinky Friedman

When they arrived at his apartment, Allen's roommate Tim, was lying on the faux black leather sofa in the living room watching an NBA play-off game on their fifty-two inch flat-screen. Owen was barely over five feet tall with a pale complexion, buck teeth, kinky hair, and he wore thick glasses that made his eyes look like they were popping out at you in 3-D; but he was sweet as pie and had a heart of gold. — Monica Mathis-Stowe

Do you ever wear leather?" the guy asks.
"What?"
"Leather. Do you like leather?"
"It doesn't exactly wipe me out."
"I like to see boys in leather."
I look at him cool. "Okay," I say, "what is it you want and how much are you willing to pay for it?"
"I've got a leather jacket upstairs...Would you put it on?"
"Just put it on?"
"I'll go and get it."
He leaves the horror hole and returns a few minutes later holding a leather flying jacket with a lambswool collar. There are tears in the jacket's sleeves, and the lambswool is yellow with age. John Wayne could've worn it in one of those crappy war films he made. "Put it on," the guy says.
I give him a spiky smile and put on the jacket. "Okay, where's the plane, and what time's take-off?"
"Drop your jeans and turn around. — Eric Bishop-Potter

Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody else got tired of her shit — Kinky Friedman

Come baaaaaaack. They're questioning me about every little thing. I'm breaking Anna. I'm gonna snap and tell them I'm a werewolf and you're my mate and we have kinky werewolf sex. — Mairead Falcon

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable. — Kinky Friedman

To take away a woman's ability to walk is one thing; it's quite another to take away her ability to speak. -(Lady Meesha) I Am Lady Sasha -The Journey From Slave to Slave- — Julienne Russell

It's all very well going around thinking you're a cowboy, until you run into somebody who thinks he's an Indian. — Kinky Friedman

I told her that my happy yellow teapot has a kinky backstory involving a nineteenth-century vegetarian sex cult in upstate New York whose members lived for three decades as self-proclaimed "Bible communists" before incorporating into the biggest supplier of dinnerware to the American food-service industry, not to mention harboring their most infamous resident, an irritating young maniac who, years after he moved away, was hanged for assassinating President Garfield. — Sarah Vowell

To say I have frizzy hair is an understatement. It is kinky, more pubic than cranial, and whitish blond, breaking off easily, like hay. — Kathryn Stockett

I like to be weird, kinky, straight, in and out, up and down. I like to blow up people's expectations, create them, destroy them, and dissolve them. It is fun. — Frederick Lenz

When women read romance books, one of two things generally happen." Mal ran a hand through his lovely locks. "They either want to discuss the book in great depth. And probably, life and your relationship. Now sometimes that's okay. You reach a higher level of understanding with each other and shit. But sometimes it sucks, pure and simple. You wind up getting bitched at for days because of something the dude in the book did that makes you look bad. But if it's an awesome book, however, a hot one? Well then ... kinky fuckery like you wouldn't believe, man. The ideas Pumpkin has gotten out of some of those books. Gold. I could never have talked her into trying half of that stuff. — Kylie Scott

There is always something wrong with redheads. The hair is kinky, or it's the wrong color, too dark and tough, or too pale and sickly. And the skin - it rejects the elements: wind, sun, everything discolors it. A really beautiful redhead is rarer than a flawless forty-carat pigeon-blood ruby - or a flawed one, for that matter. But none of this was true of Kate. Her hair was like a winter sunset, lighted with the last of the pale afterglow. And the only redhead I've ever seen with a complexion to compare with hers was Pamela Churchill's. But then, Pam is English, she grew up saturated with dewy English mists, something every dermatologist ought to bottle. — Truman Capote

I went into the experience with the notion that I was merely going to get a taste of a deviant lifestyle. The Dom was charismatic and the kinky sex might be good if I could get past the whipping part, because there was no way I would ever think that was fun. I believed I could never be truly submissive or enjoy pain. I was so very wrong

My life changed forever. The connection between Dom and sub is one of the closest relationships two people can have. Give and take became more than words. They became the basis of my existence. My body is no longer my own. He has access to everything I am - privacy does not exist, but when he looks at me it's with love. There is no fear and no shame because I am safe. I will always be safe with him.

As my Master will be safe with me. — Debra Varva

You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that. — Kinky Friedman

Your kinks aren't arbitrary things your brain comes up with. They're not coincidences from childhood that you fetishize. Or: they could be. But kinks are arrows giving you directions. If you're hot for being whipped, that probably says something about your relationship to guilt and punishment, or pain, or something ... It's always complicated and emotionally volatile but there's also no reason to be ashamed of it. — Imogen Binnie

English, however, is kinky. It has a predilection for dressing up like Welsh on lonely nights. — John McWhorter

I am not a total pervert. Although, to be honest, consider the night we've been having. First handcuffs, and
now this? Way more kinky than I expected."
"Please," M'cal said. "Do not talk."
"You like the strong and silent type, huh?"
"If you do not shut up, I will kill you with my voice."
"I love it when you talk dirty."
"Fine. Which would you prefer to lose first? Your soul or your testicles?"
"You know, you're just a bit obsessed with chopping off balls. Do you have issues with your masculinity? — Marjorie M. Liu

What was she going to do with two Drustans?
A kinky part of her proposed something unmentionable and rather fascinating. Really, if they were both him, it wouldn't be like she was cheating on anyone. — Karen Marie Moning

We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians. — Kinky Friedman

My stomach somersaults
he wants me ... in a weird way, true, but this beautiful, strange, kinky man wants me. — E.L. James

Finding a cat
or having a cat find you
can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more. — Kinky Friedman

Allthough that doesn't happen often lately, I like to read exciting thrillers and those kinky magazines. — Jonathan Brandis

I knew I had a problem. I was starting to like that kinky rich bastard. — R.K. Lilley