Keplinger Quotes & Sayings

Don't keep things bottled up. It's not good for you. — Kody Keplinger

You *are* my family,' he said.
The tears almost started up again. Those four little words meant so much to me - which was stupid, really. They were just words. But they were words I'd been wanting to hear, wanting to believe. *You are my family*. — Kody Keplinger

I wanted to make sure you were fine ... and that he was okay, too. You didn't, like, stab the boy, did you? I mean, I totally disapprove of murdering hotties, but if you need help burying the body, you know I'll bring the shovel. — Kody Keplinger

Her choice ruins the lives of the people she cares most about. Because she picked propriety over passion. Head over heart. — Kody Keplinger

The word was ours now, and as long as we held on to it, we could control the hurt it inflicted. — Kody Keplinger

Chloe didn't have all the answers, either. I knew that now. But she had known something all along that I hadn't: that being ashamed of what you want or how you feel is pointless, and letting anyone else make you feel ashamed is a waste. We all wanted different things, and that was okay. Chloe wanted sex without commitment. Mary wanted to wait until she was ready. And I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I didn't want to make any decisions until I knew. And I was proud of that. — Kody Keplinger

You can lie to yourself if you want, but reality is going to catch up with you. I'll be waiting when it does ... whether you like it or not. — Kody Keplinger

I'm perfectly fine with being used. But I would like to know for what I'm being used.
Distraction
That much I gathered. What am I supposed to be distracting you from? There's a chance that if I knew, I could do my job more effectively. — Kody Keplinger

Joe!' he called. 'Hey, honey, can you get the pretty girl a Coke?'
'Only if you stop calling me *honey*,' the bartender, a bearded man in his thirties, replied. 'We've had this discussion before, Harrison.'
'Aw, Joe. It's so cute that you think I listen. — Kody Keplinger

First of all," I began, "I don't love you. I love my family and maybe even Casey and Jessica, but romantic love takes years upon years to develop. So I don't love you. But I will admit, I've thought a lot about you lately and I definitely have feelings for you ... feelings other than hatred for the most part. And maybe it's possible - in the future - that I ... could love you." I hesitated, a little scared of the words that'd just left my mouth. "But I still want to kill you most of the time. — Kody Keplinger

No matter where you go or what you do to distract yourself, reality catches up with you eventually. — Kody Keplinger

I guess ... I just wanted to talk to someone. I wanted someone to listen to me complain and to sympathize with me for a few minutes. I wanted someone to understand how lost I felt. — Kody Keplinger

Wesley Rush doesn't date, he fucks - everyone, for that matter. — Kody Keplinger

Because I want to see you with someone better than him. Someone who will see how lucky they are to have you. — Kody Keplinger

What did one do after having a one-night stand (or, in my case, one-afternoon stand) with the school's biggest man-whore? — Kody Keplinger

I told you, I'm awesome at everything," he teased, putting the PS3 controller on the floor between us. "That includes video games."
I watched as the character Wesley had been operating moved across the screen, doing some sort of odd victory dance. "Not fair," I muttered. "Your sword was bigger than mine."
"My sword is bigger than everyone's. — Kody Keplinger

The point is, scientists have proven that every group of friends has a weak link, a DUFF. And girls respond well to guys who associate with their DUFFs."
"Crackheads can call themselves scientists now? That's news to me. — Kody Keplinger

I, on the other hand, am best friends with Wikipedia.'
'You know that site is woefully inaccurate a lot of the time, right? Because anyone can change the information.'
'Yep. I'm the girl changing the information to make it woefully inaccurate.'
'So half the high schoolers around the country have you to thank for their failing grades on research papers.'
'Yes, sir. I'm practically a celebrity. Or I would be if it wasn't anonymous. — Kody Keplinger

You can't control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out. Let go a little and just let life happen. — Kody Keplinger

I hated Valentine's Day even before I was aware of my Duff status. Honestly, I didn't even understand why it was a holiday. Really, it was just an excuse for girls to whine about being lonely and for guys to worm their way into getting laid. I found it materialistic, indulgent, and, with all of the chocolate, completely unhealthy. — Kody Keplinger

You amaze me Lissa Daniels. Most girls would cave as soon as I gave them the puppy-dog look with these amazing eyes."
"Sorry. I like boys. Not dogs. You should've dated a different girl if you wanted someone to bend to your will. — Kody Keplinger

I am the Duff. But so is everyone else in the world. We're all fucking Duffs. — Kody Keplinger

Seriously, if the bastards cheat on you, then they don't deserve you anyway. If that's a legit fear, then you probably shouldn't be with them to begin with. — Kody Keplinger

Anger was less painful than abandonment. — Kody Keplinger

Why did that jackass have to sit next to me? — Kody Keplinger

Without warning, Wesley lifted me up onto the pool table. His hands moved to my shoulders, and a second later, I was flat on my back, staring up at him as he smirked. He shifted so that he was on the table too, leaning over me with his face only inches from mine.
"On the pool table?" I said, narrowing my eyes at him. "Seriously?"
"I can't resist," he said. "You know, you're pretty sexy when you're pissed at me, Duffy."
First, I was struck by the irony of that statement. I mean, he used sexy and Duffy-implying I was fat and ugly-in the same sentence. The contrast was almost laughable. Almost. — Kody Keplinger

I'd never felt like this, like I wanted to climb into another person's skin. — Kody Keplinger

Bianca, whore is just a cheap word people use to cut each other down," he said. His voice softer. "It makes them feel better about their own mistakes. Using words like that is easier than really looking into the situation. I promise you, you're not a whore."
I looked at him, into his warm gray eyes, and suddently understood what he was trying to tell me. The message hidden beneath the words.
You're not alone. — Kody Keplinger

Happy. Dave had suggested an impromptu road trip — Kody Keplinger

Functionality is overrated. — Kody Keplinger

A lot of people would kill for my life, but I didn't even consider that. I took it - and you - for granted. I'm so, so sorry for that — Kody Keplinger

I want to be normal, but no one talks about sex, so how should I know what normal is? — Kody Keplinger

I don't want to hear the end of that sentence! It's bad enough that he's flirting with my coworker."
"He's flirting with Cash? Now that's hot."
"What? No! Jenna, not Cash. Geez, Chloe. — Kody Keplinger

God really must have had a sense of humor, because if I had to name my biggest turn-on, it was literature. And he had just recommended a book that I didn't know, that wasn't taught in school. If I were single, there would be no better pick-up line. — Kody Keplinger

All of a sudden I wanted to know how the book ended. — Kody Keplinger

It wasn't a game," Cash whispered. "Not to me. — Kody Keplinger

" ... we're all fucking Duffs."
(Designated Ugly Fat Friend)
"I'm not the Duff," Wesley said confidently.
"That's because you don't have friends." (Bianca)
"Oh. Right." — Kody Keplinger

Wrong?" Casey asked. "We're getting the fuck out of here," I said, yanking their unwilling bodies along behind me. "I'll explain in the car. I just can't stand to be in this hellhole for one more second." "Can't I say bye to Harrison first?" Jessica whined, trying to loosen my grip on her arm. "Jessica!" I cricked my neck painfully when I twisted around to face her. "He's gay! You don't have a chance, — Kody Keplinger

Hey Kid
so proud of you. so is emily. we wish we could be there, but here's a fat check to make up for it but dont go spending it all out on booze. call you soon.
Love, the best big brother ever
and Emily and Marie, too.
I smiled. It was a mark of how much I loved my big brother that I found his lack of punctuation and proper grammar endearing. — Kody Keplinger

Love is rare and hard to find and takes years upon years to develop. Teenagers don't fall in love. — Kody Keplinger

Your sense of humor needs some work, then,' Wesley suggested. 'Most girls find my jokes charming.'
'Those girls must have IQs low enough to trip over. — Kody Keplinger

The people who call you names are just trying to make themselves feel better. They've fucked up too. You're not the only one. — Kody Keplinger

Bianca, can I ask you something?" "No," I said quickly. "I am not giving you a blow job. No fucking way. Just the thought of it is disgusting and degrading and ... No. Never." "While that's a little disappointing," Wesley said, "it's not what I was planning to ask you."
Keplinger, Kody (2010-09-07). The DUFF: (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) (p. 166). Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. Kindle Edition. — Kody Keplinger

Learn some manners or I'll email the whole high school about how small your dick is - because we both know that I'm aware of exactly how small it is."
"Whore," he muttered, shooting Chloe a filthy glare over his shoulder.
"Ha. You might have better luck with a whore, actually. Me You couldn't pay me to bang you again. Dick's too minuscule to keep a lady satisfied. — Kody Keplinger

So, you're Bianca? The freshman bitch that's been screwing my boyfriend?"
"Your boyfriend? I haven't been-"
"Stay the hell away from Jake. — Kody Keplinger

Beauty really was skin-deep. Wesley Rush may have had the body of a Greek god, but his soul was as black and empty as the inside of my closet. What a bastard! — Kody Keplinger

Wesley was really the only thing getting me through those weeks. Some part of me was appalled at myself, but what could I say? I needed that escape-that high-more than ever, and he was always just a short drive away. A fix three or four times a week was all it took to keep me sane.
God, I was like a fucking druggie. Maybe my sanity was long gone already. — Kody Keplinger

I was thinking about how much I wanted to reenact that part in the shower with my hot, sexy, gorgeous girlfriend. And how she wouldn't need a butt double because she's perfect already."
"You smooth talker, you."
"I was also thinking how much sexier I am than that guy she was screwing in the shower. — Kody Keplinger

I don't like him," I explained. "He annoys the hell out of me ninety-six percent of the time, and sometimes I'd like nothing better than to strangle him to death. But at the same time I ... I want him to be happy. I think about him way more than I should, and I -"
"You love him. — Kody Keplinger

Go try your charming act on some tramp with low self-esteem, because I'm not falling for it. — Kody Keplinger

Shave that Moses beard and you might have better luck. Women don't want to kiss carpet, you know. — Kody Keplinger

Are you guys getting to know each other pretty well? I'm sure it's a little bit awkward at first.'
'Yeah,' I said. 'I'd say we're getting to know each other *really* well. Wouldn't you, Nathan?'
He kicked me under the table and mouthed, *Not funny*. — Kody Keplinger

Then maybe I'll hit on this sweaty, oversexed football player. Maybe we'll have meaningful discussions about politics and philosophy while we bump 'n grind. Ugh. Yeah, right. — Kody Keplinger

Hey there, Lissa Daniels," he said. He raised his Coke. "Would you like to say hello to your distant cousin, Jack? — Kody Keplinger

I was the Duff. And that was a good thing. Because anyone who didn't feel like the Duff must not have friends. Every girl feels unattractive sometimes. Why had it taken me so long to figure that out? Why had I been stressing over that dumb word for so long when it was so simple? I should be proud to be the Duff. Proud to have great friends who, in their minds, were my Duffs. — Kody Keplinger

I couldn't resist the urge to reach over to the gearshift and put my hand over Wesley's. His skin was warm and soft, and I could feel his pulse throbbing steadily beneath my palm. I forgot about my stupid car and my fight with Casey. I just wanted Wesley to smile again. Even that cocky grin would have worked. I hated that he was so hurt by the possibility of losing his sister's respect. I wanted to comfort him. I cared about him.
Oh my God. I actually cared? — Kody Keplinger

I took Russian in high school," Nathan said, climbing out of the pool. He'd decided to swim laps that afternoon instead of going to the gym.
"Did you?" Harrison asked, grinning at him.
"Yeah." Nathan grabbed his towel from the little patio table and began dabbing at his face. "But the only thing I remember is, Mozhno li kopirovat vashi domashnie zodaneeye?"
"Let me guess," I said. "You just asked me where the bathroom is, right?"
"No." He scoffed, flicking his wet towel at me. "I was beyond that basic stuff. I took two years of it. Give me some credit."
"Then what does it mean?" I asked.
"It means, 'Can I copy your homework? — Kody Keplinger

Just remember to do what makes you happy, okay? Don't lie to yourself because you think it's safer. Reality
doesn't work like that ... . I think I told you that before.
She had.
But I'd been running for so long I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore. — Kody Keplinger

Spanish, huh?" he said, glancing down at the scattered papers as he grabbed them. "Can you say anything interesting?"
"El tono de tu voz hace que queria estrangularme." I stood up and waited for him to hand over my papers.
"That sounds sexy," he said, getting to his feet and handing me the stack of Spanish work he'd swept together. "What's it mean?"
"The sound of your voice makes me want to strangle myself."
"Kinky. — Kody Keplinger

I meant that a decent guy - a smart guy - wouldn't have let something like sex ruin a good thing. — Kody Keplinger

I'm serious. They'll call me a pussy."

"And if you help them, I'll call you a dick. So no matter what you do, you're going to be some form of genitalia. — Kody Keplinger

Sometimes people surprise you, if you let them. — Kody Keplinger

Where are you going?" I demanded.
He looked over his shoulder at me with an exasperated sigh. "To my room, of course."
"Can't we write the paper down here?" I asked.
The corners of Wesley's mouth turned slightly upward as he hooked a finger over his belt. "We could, Duffy, but the writing will go much faster if I'm typing, and my computer's upstairs. You're the one who said you wanted to get this over with. — Kody Keplinger

Great. He was a hottie, a good kisser, and a literature buff. God really must have had a sense of humor, because if I had to name my biggest turn-on, it was literature. And he had just recommended a book that I didn't know, that wasn't taught in school. If I were single, there would be no better pick-up line. Suddenly, I found myself thinking back to Atonement - you know, the scene in the book where the two main characters have sex in the library? Even though Chloe said doing it against bookshelves would be really uncomfortable (and she'd probably know), it was still a fantasy of mine. Like, what's more romantic than a quiet place full of books? But I shouldn't have been thinking about my library fantasies. Especially while I was staring at Cash. In the middle of a library. — Kody Keplinger

I'm the wind beneath your wings — Kody Keplinger

I don't really do friends,' I told him.
'Good,' he said. 'I don't want you to "do" me. We've established the flaws in that plan already ... — Kody Keplinger

Plus, no matter how many times I'd brushed my teeth in Casey's bathroom (after half an hour she'd knocked on the door to make sure I was okay), the taste of disgusting, womanizing bastard was still in my mouth. Ugh! — Kody Keplinger

Sometimes it's hard to predict who will make a person happy. But in the end, that's what matters. — Kody Keplinger

I cleared my throat and tried to look like I wasn't inwardly slapping myself. — Kody Keplinger

I shook my head. "Don't bother making excuses," I said. "Don't waste your time because, the fact is, I am the Duff. But so is everyone else in the world. We're all fucking Duffs."
"I'm not the Duff," Wesley said confidently.
"That's because you don't have friends."
"Oh. Right. — Kody Keplinger

It was almost funny, really. Such a strong reaction to a bunch of shirtless guys. — Kody Keplinger

You know, my father says those are the four most frightening words a woman can say. He claims that nothing good ever begins with "We need to talk." You're worrying me a little here, Duffy. — Kody Keplinger

I mean, just because my voice actually worked didn't necessarily mean I could use it well in his presence. — Kody Keplinger

Being ashamed of what you want or how you feel is pointless, and letting anyone else make you feel ashamed is a waste. — Kody Keplinger

Maybe if you could put him on mute ... and cut off his hands ... maybe - just maybe - he'd be tolerable then. — Kody Keplinger

Thanks," Toby said. "And if Wesley breaks your heart, I promise to ... well, I would say I'd kick his ass, but we both
know that's physically impossible." He frowned down at his skinny arms. "So I'll write him a strongly worded letter. — Kody Keplinger

On the ground, Cash gave a signal, and all the guys lined up by the pool. In unison, they stripped off their shirts and tossed them onto the grass. An audible sigh- like the ones you hear on a sitcom that is "filmed in front of a live studio audience"- filled the room. It was almost funny, really. Such a strong reaction to a bunch of shirtless boys. — Kody Keplinger

I'm scared." It was something I'd never said out loud. "I'm scared he'll let me down ... or that he won't want me. And I figure maybe it's easier if I just don't give him the chance. — Kody Keplinger

Where are you going?" Wesley asked in a semi-sleepy voice.
"Home." I pulled on my jeans. "I've gotta take a shower and get ready for school."
He pushed himself up on one elbow to look at me. His hair was a mess, brown curls falling into his eyes and sticking up in the back. "You can shower here," he offered. "I might even join you if you're lucky. — Kody Keplinger

Even though this story could end a thousand different ways, and even though chances were, it might not have a happy ending, it didn't matter. Because I already knew how I was gonna tell this story. — Kody Keplinger

Don't pretend, Bianca," he said. "You're smarter than that, and so am I. I finally figured out what you meant when you left. You said you were like Hester. I get it now. The first time you came to my house, when we wrote that paper, you said Hester was trying to escape. But everything caught up with Hester in the end, didn't it? Well, something finally caught up with you, but you're just running away again. Only, he"-Wesley pointed to my bedroom door-"is your escape this time." He took a step toward me, forcing me to crane my neck even more to see his face. "Admit it, Duffy."
"Admit what?"
"That you're running away from me," he said. "You realized you're in love with me and you bailed because it scared the shit out of you. — Kody Keplinger

I mean, there is a reason its initials are VD. I bet you more people contract syphilis on Valentine's Day than on any other day of the year. What a cause for celebration. — Kody Keplinger

Oh, please stop," I said, moving to sit down beside her on the bed. "No. Nothing like that. It's ... it's letting someone that close to me. Physically and emotionally. Randy and I got close a few times, but ... I chickened out. I'm afraid of letting someone have that kind of power over me. Not being in control is what scares me. — Kody Keplinger

The more my world spun, the more appealing he became. Don't get me wrong, I still hated him with a passion. His arrogance made me want to scream, but his ability to free me - if only temporarily - from my problems left me high. He was my drug. — Kody Keplinger

It's so screwed up, the standards ... You should like it, but you shouldn't like it too much or talk about how much you like it. You should do it, but you shouldn't do it with too many people or talk about how much you're doing it. It's like there are so many rules, but none of them make sense. — Kody Keplinger

If Kate Winslet had been the Duff, Leonardo DiCaprio wouldn't have been after her in Titanic and that could have saved all of us a lot of tears. — Kody Keplinger

You're a disgusting, shallow, womanizing jackass, and I hope that soda stains your preppy little shirt." Just before I marched away, i looked over my shoulder and added, "And my name isn't Duffy. it's Bianca. we've been in the same homeroom since middle school, you selfabsorbed son of a bitch. — Kody Keplinger

Paper cuts are like battle scars for the academic ... I, on the other hand, am best friends with Wikipedia. — Kody Keplinger

I think about you much more than any self-respecting man would like to admit, and I'm insanely jealous of Tucker - something I never thought I'd say. Moving on after you is impossible. No other girl can keep me on my toes the way you can. No one else makes me WANT to embarrass myself by writing sappy letters like this one.
Only you. — Kody Keplinger

I was supposed to be at the condo, wasting time on the beach, just Dad and me, figuring out college and my life and spending time together. Instead, I was in a new house with new people - including a future stepbrother who'd seen me naked. — Kody Keplinger

Shut up, Kelsey, and just give Lissa a chance," Chloe snapped.
Kelsey mocked surprise. "Oh my God, Chloe can speak? I thought her mouth only worked for sucking dicks. It's a miracle. — Kody Keplinger

For a girl with such a fat ass, I felt pretty invisible. — Kody Keplinger

I wasn't trying to drive you crazy, just to get your attention," he said. "Lissa, I never tried to use you. Everything that happened between us-I meant it. Including that kiss in the library. I tried to tell you the other day at my house. That this"-he held up our entwined hands-"is more than just a game to me. But ... — Kody Keplinger

That just proves there's something going on with you and Mr. Jackass. — Kody Keplinger

Bumblebee," he said as the kitchen went dark. "I want you to thank your friend next time you see him."
"My friend?"
"Yeah. The boy who was with you last night. What's his name?"
"Wesley," I muttered.
"Right," Dad said. "Well, I deserved it. He was brave to do what he did. I don't know what's going on between you two, but I'm glad you have a friend who's willing to stand up for you. So please tell him I said thanks. — Kody Keplinger

She wrote a self-esteem book. — Kody Keplinger

The winter sky has already turned black, but I could still see Wesley's gray eyes in the darkness. They were exactly the color of the sky before a thunderstorm. — Kody Keplinger

Just when I think you might have a soul, you say shit like that. — Kody Keplinger

I'd skipped the crush kiddie pool and jumped right into the deep, shark-infested ocean of emotions. And, if you'll forgive the dramatic metaphor, I was a lousy swimmer. — Kody Keplinger

No rush. This time things were slow and earnest. This time I wasn't looking for an escape. This time it was about him. About me. About honesty and compassion and everything I'd never expected to find in Wesley Rush. — Kody Keplinger