Kangaroo Quotes & Sayings

Your heart keeps jumping like a kangaroo, floating like an onion in a bowl of stew. — Fabian

I could not eat a kangaroo. But many fine Australians do. Those with cookbooks as well as boomerangs Prefer him in tasty kangaroo-meringues. — Ogden Nash

I think I know now why it is called the Kangaroo Suite. It's because even when you no longer have a child, you carry him forever. It — Jodi Picoult

I cannot say whether there is fur on my wife's legs for I have never seen them nor do I intend to commit myself to the folly of looking at them. In any event and in all politeness -nothing would be further from me than to insult a guest- I deem the point you have made as unimportant because there is surely nothing in the old world to prevent a deceitful kangaroo from shaving the fur from her legs, assuming she is a woman? — Flann O'Brien

There is nothing more delightful than to scoop up a wild joey in your arms and smell the wind and eucalyptus in the coats of the gentle kangaroo or the deep-earth smell of tiny wallabies. It is wonderful to see the trust in their eyes and the gradual realization that you mean them no harm. — Stella Reid

Do you know if a kangaroo can jump higher than a house? Of course it does, a house does not jump at all. 2. — Kevin Moore

Evolution is a snail, but Revolution is a kangaroo; one crawls, other jumps! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

So Daemon can do that too? Morphing into a kangaroo if he wanted to?"
Dee laughed. "Daemon can do about anything. He's one of the most powerful of us. Most of us can do one or two things easily - the rest is a struggle. Everything is easy for him."
"He's just so awesome," I muttered.
"Once he actually moved the house a little bit," Dee said, nose wrinkled. "He totally broke the foundation. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

The 10's(2010) are a baby kangaroo, a bill overdue, a coal chute for staggering millions, a bowl of camphor punch, the fast-dissolving afterimages of a long night's exhausting dreams. Boys and girls, take off those space suits; the boot is lifted from your chest and you can safely resume the search for perfection. — Jim Woodring

Interestingly, female kangaroos have three vaginas, but male kangaroos only have a two-pronged penis. It's like they've started a Darwinian game of one-upmanship and the girls are winning. (Fascinating factoid: Kangaroos also drool on themselves to keep cool [because nothing looks cooler than a drooling kangaroo] but that's helpful to know because when you see them drooling at the mouth it doesn't necessarily mean that they have rabies. It just means they're hot [hot referring to their temperature, not sexiness]. If you find drooling kangaroos sexy you probably need help.) I — Jenny Lawson

Kofi Annan's kangaroo court ... a clear and present danger to the war on terrorism and Americans fighting it all over the world. — Tom DeLay

If you were a kangaroo you'd forget you've got a joey in your pouch. — Steve Fowler

I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also. — Todd Barry

Sculptures created from found materials like ice and thorns, driftwood, and even bleached kangaroo bones all presuppose that artistic design will yield to the cycles of time and climate, whether over an hour or a decade. — Simon Schama

This is your court and you possess the force to celebrate the trial and convict me on the basis of your lists of accusations, the public one and the secret one, and you can dictate a sentence prepared by the political and security apparatuses that are behind this trial. But I too possess a will obtained from the justice of our cause and the determination of our people to reject any decision from this 'kangaroo court' ... — Ahmad Sa'adat

Listen, Frank Zhang has moves. He's probably gonna turn into a kangaroo and do some marsupial jujitsu on their ugly faces. — Rick Riordan

With regard to religion, finally, it may be briefly said that she believed in God in much the same way as she believed in Australia. For she had no doubts whatever as to the existence of either; ad she went to church on Sunday in much the same spirit as she would look at a kangaroo in the zoological gardens; for kangaroos came from Australia. — E.F. Benson

With the signs of the Disc zodiac. There were sixty-four of them, from Wezen the Double-headed Kangaroo to Gahoolie, the Vase of Tulips (a constellation of great religious significance whose meaning, alas, was now lost). — Terry Pratchett

Ben often comes here. It's some kind of kangaroo graveyard. He likes to collect kangaroo bones. What can I say? It's just something Stink Collectors do. — J.E. Fison

I guess that compared to other comic strips, I'm edgy. But put me along something like 'South Park,' and I'm 'Captain Kangaroo.' — Stephan Pastis

I'm fairly adventurous with my eating. I've tried kangaroo, and Moreton Bay bugs, which are a kind of lobster, are so good. — Brian O'Driscoll

It was fun for me also to point out that this brand of young-Earth creationism claims that kangaroos came from a huge ship, the ark, which is supposed to have safely run aground on Mount Ararat in modern-day Turkey. It's a respectable peak - 5,165 meters (almost 17,000 feet) - and it's snowcapped. It's not clear to me how all the animals and humans made the arduous descent. The kangaroos, both of them, are supposed to have made it down the mountain, ran or hopped from there to Australia - and no one saw them. Furthermore, if they took a reasonable amount of time to make the trip, you'd expect some kangaroo pups or joeys to have been born and some adults to have died along the way. You'd expect some kangaroo fossils out there somewhere in what is now Laos or Tibet. Also, they are supposed to have run across a land bridge from Eurasia to Australia. But there's no evidence of such a bridge or any kangaroo fossils in that area, not any. — Bill Nye

I have no fear of losing my life - if I have to save a koala or a crocodile or a kangaroo or a snake, mate, I will save it. — Steve Irwin

Let me introduce myself. My name is, uh, Kangaroo ... Kangaroo - Captain Kangaroo ... I'm the keeper here of the Treasure House. — Bob Keeshan

When you come across with a problem in your life, do not always try to solve it; make a long jump like a kangaroo and continue your way! Sometimes problems must be leaped over without touching them! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs- bank vice presidents, insurance salesmen, auditors, secretaries of defense- and you'll realie they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears menswear department dress. Now look at the real successes, the people who make a lot more money than you- Elton John, Captain Kangaroo, anybody from Saudi Arabia, Big Bird, and so on. They all dress funny- and they all succeed. — Dave Barry

Creative new health strategies like micro-insurance for poor people or Kangaroo care for pre-term babies are transforming health outcomes in even the most low-resource settings. Dedication and innovation are transforming health care worldwide. — Liya Kebede

Yeah, I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. — Steve Irwin

Hands-Off Parenting Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary: The baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag. RITA RUDNER — Anonymous

I was taught to read by my grandmother. Central to her method was a tale of unnatural love called 'The Duck and the Kangaroo'. Then, because my grandfather, Senator Gore, was blind, I was required early on to read grown-up books to him, mostly constitutional law and, of course, the Congressional Record. The later continence of my style is a miracle, considering those years of piping the additional remarks of Mr. Borah of Idaho. — Gore Vidal

You're in the country of the kangaroo and the duck-billed platypus, and you're asking 'why is it a mushroom? Because it just IS. — Elle Lothlorien

The smell of hot bread came from underneath the tent walls, and Perseus said that the ovens had just been opened. "You haven't eaten in three days. You'd better strengthen yourself." "How can I eat," Alessandro answered, pointing his nose to his padded hands. "Don't be ridiculous, they're perfect for holding a hot loaf of bread. You'll look like a kangaroo, but you'll be able to eat all you want. Now you can pick up a bowl of boiling soup as if you were a Cossack. — Mark Helprin

The subject was as easy to spot as a kangaroo in a dinner jacket — Raymond Chandler

First they done a lecture on temperance; but they didn't make enough for
them both to get drunk on. Then in another village they started a
dancing-school; but they didn't know no more how to dance than a kangaroo
does; so the first prance they made the general public jumped in and
pranced them out of town. Another time they tried to go at yellocution;
but they didn't yellocute long till the audience got up and give them a
solid good cussing, and made them skip out. — Mark Twain

These days every morning begins like a joke
you think you have heard before,
but there is no one telling it
whom you can stop.
One day it's about a cow who walks into a bar,
then about a man with a big nose on his honeymoon,
then about a kangaroo who walks into a bar.
Each one takes up an entire day.
The sun looks like a prank Nathanael West
is pulling on the world; on the drive to work
cars are swinging comically from lane to lane.
The houses and lawns belong in cartoons.
The hours collapse into one another's arms.
The stories arc over noon and descend
like slow ferris wheels into the haze of evening.
You wish you could stop listening and get serious.
Trouble is you cannot remember the punch line
which never arrives till very late at night,
just as you are reaching for the bedside lamp,
just before you begin laughing in the dark. — Billy Collins

My mother on her death bed told me, 'Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?' - it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I'd move to a country where there were no kangaroos! — Colin Mochrie

Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!' Vlad? I know two Vlads. One is a cute little bunny that brings me cookies. The other is bad Vlad. Which Vlad?' Which one do you think?' Bad Vlad?' Good call. — Dr. Seuss

Any time you're near a kangaroo, it's a close call. — Jerry O'Connell

The kangaroo has a double penis - one for week days and one for holidays. — Henry Miller

If you hit a kangaroo in the street and you have to pull out on the side of the road, it can get back up and murder you. — Vince Staples

In an earlier stage of our development most human groups held to a tribal ethic. Members of the tribe were protected, but people of other tribes could be robbed or killed as one pleased. Gradually the circle of protection expanded, but as recently as 150 years ago we did not include blacks. So African human beings could be captured, shipped to America, and sold. In Australia white settlers regarded Aborigines as a pest and hunted them down, much as kangaroos are hunted down today. Just as we have progressed beyond the blatantly racist ethic of the era of slavery and colonialism, so we must now progress beyond the speciesist ethic of the era of factory farming, of the use of animals as mere research tools, of whaling, seal hunting, kangaroo slaughter, and the destruction of wilderness. We must take the final step in expanding the circle of ethics. - — Peter Singer

As far as he could see, the drawings were simply alive. They might be colored earth on rock, but they were as alive as the kangaroo that'd just hopped away. — Terry Pratchett

It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob. — Karl Pilkington

Some have argued that because the universe is like a clock, there must be a Clockmaker. As the eighteenth-century British empiricist David Hume pointed out, this is a slippery argument, because there is nothing that is really perfectly analogous to the universe as a whole, unless it's another universe, so we shouldn't try to pass off anything that is just a part of this universe. Why a clock anyhow? Hume asks. Why not say the universe is analogous to a kangaroo? After all, both are organically interconnected systems. But the kangaroo analogy would lead to a very different conclusion about the origin of the universe: namely, that it was born of another universe after that universe had sex with a third universe. — Thomas Cathcart

I wanted to be Stan Laurel, then I wanted to be Fred Astaire and then Captain Kangaroo. I actually started out as a radio announcer when I was 17 and never left the business, so that's literally 70 years. — Dick Van Dyke

Kangaroo farts, as fate would have it, don't contain methane. — Steven D. Levitt

You have no spirit of culinary adventure. You need to be more like that snarky guy on the Travel Channel. He goes all over the world eating kangaroo a**holes and snail throw-up. He'd eat anything. He don't care how sick he gets. He's another one of my role models, except he needs ironing. — Janet Evanovich

For a moment they all looked at Dermot incredulously, as if he'd just announced he was going to birth a kangaroo. — Charlaine Harris

Don't know what 2 say about Dunk-a-roos. They're just good! Sometimes you want a food that is comfortable and takes you back. For me, it's those crazy little kangaroo crackers. — Prince

Whenever a kangaroo puts his paws on your shoulder and gives you a big grin, that is the time to leave. — Will Cuppy

Yeah, well, when they say 'You know it's a long way, don't you?' what they really mean is: 'You know it'd be faster if you just rode a kangaroo, don't you? — Elle Lothlorien

How small the cosmos (a kangaroo's pouch would hold it), how paltry and puny in comparison to human consciousness, to a single individual recollection, and its expression in words! — Vladimir Nabokov

Okay, let's put it this way. I would like to sleep with you. But it's alright if I don't sleep with you. What I'm saying is I'd like to be as fair as possible. I don't want to force anything on anybody, any more than I'd want anything forced on me. It's enough that I feel your presence or see your commas swirling around me. — Haruki Murakami

One meal I'm constantly reminded about is when I ate kangaroo tail in the desert in Australia; it wasn't necessarily my favorite, but I will always remember it. — Rob Machado

Australia! Australians! Surely it's still full of Magwitch-types, lumbering oafs with shaven pates and broken noses on the run from whatever law there is, chucking kangaroo heads on the barbie as they read their awful bush poetry. — Dave Franklin

As far as one knows of heroines from history. I'm capable of a great jerk, an effort, and then a relaxation - but steady every-day goodness is beyond me. I must be a moral kangaroo! — Elizabeth Gaskell

Hopefully New Zealand let me stay, and they don't kick me out and ban me. And I hope I don't get killed by a kangaroo, 'cuz I heard that happens out there. — Vince Staples

Kangaroos give birth to only one baby at a time. So as soon as one baby is born, the female gets pregnant again. Otherwise the kangaroo population would never sustain itself. This means the female kangaroo spends her entire life either pregnant or nursing babies. If she's not pregnant, she's nursing babies; if she's not nursing babies, she's pregnant. You could say she exists just to ensure the continuance of the species. The kangaroo species wouldn't survive if there weren't any kangaroos, and if their purpose wasn't to go on existing, kangaroos wouldn't be around in the first place. — Haruki Murakami

Besides my professional goals, I have a couple of private ones, my man. One of those is to pet a kangaroo before I leave Australia. I understand there's lots of Eastern Grays around this area. What do you say? Are you in?'
Bergman looked at him like he'd just made the worst financial investment of his life. 'Kangaroos are wild animals. I've heard they claw like girl fighters and kick like jackhammers. You're going to get your skull crushed.'
Cole held up a finger. 'Or I'm going to pet a kangaroo. How cool would that be? — Jennifer Rardin

That doesn't sound too smart, I thought. If we come in from every direction, we'll be shooting each other. Usually our ambushes are planned in an L-shape to avoid that. I looked at the chief. The chief looked at me. Suddenly, his serious expression gave way to a shit-ass grin. With that, the rest of the platoon bum-rushed me. I hit the floor a second later. They cuffed me to a chair, and then began my kangaroo court. — Chris Kyle

Go to the Black Sea, meet new people, see beautiful places, get killed by a mutant carnivorous kangaroo goat. One item off my bucket list. — Ilona Andrews

I'm so glad you're back. We need you here. I mean ... Burnett's okay, but ... he's not you."
Holiday arched a brow. "I hear he wasn't even himself for a while there."
Miranda frowned. "He told you about the whole kangaroo thing, didn't he."
"Yeah," Holiday said, and her brows tightened. "And I must say, I'm very disappointed with you, Miranda" she reached out and gripped Miranda's hand. "The next time you turn him into anything, do it when I'm here to enjoy it."
-Taken at Dusk — C.C. Hunter

What every girl should know: Your vagina is disgusting. It smells like the underside of a kangaroo pouch and he doesn't want to touch you because of the grossness. But thankfully, NEW brand douche, perfected by a leading gynecologist, gently cleanses and refreshes, making you feel feminine and special. Because what's more special than a vage filled with vinegar and chemical daisies? Also available in SPICY CINNAMON TACO, for the girl adventurer. — Kelly Sue DeConnick

Children's books are looked on as a sideline of literature. A special smile. They are usually thought to be associated with women. I was determined not to have this label of sentimentality put on me so I signed by my intials, hoping people wouldn't bother to wonder if the books were written by a man, woman or kangaroo. — P.L. Travers

I can feel Ari's mounting excitement the farther we walk. She's bouncing up and down like a kangaroo on speed. I feel the bulk of the box pressing against my leg as we walk, and I contemplate all that I've decided to tell her tonight. Lifting my head, I stare in awe at the light of a thousand stars illuminating the dark, night sky. The setting really couldn't be any more romantic, any more perfect. — Siobhan Davis

It is in the national interest to have the Flying Kangaroo. It's in the interests of our tourism industry. It's in the interests of jobs here in Australia. — Anthony Albanese

How true, how true" said the Sour Kangaroo, "And from now on, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to protect them with you!" And the Young Kangaroo in her pouch said "Me too! — Dr. Seuss

When I was still a piccanin she tutuzela'd me on her back, a back-to-front kangaroo. Snug in the hollow of her back, I felt her humming and singing seep into me." (from "Blood Orange: A Novel" by Troy Blacklaws) — Troy Blacklaws

I actually had a small kangaroo - and I'm not kidding this time. I was holding a small kangaroo, baby kangaroo ... it was very nice to me this time. Do you know what it did afterward? I gave it some milk, and it just spit it all over me. I was like, Is this a thank-you for just being nice and petting the kangaroo? I got milk all over myself. I guess I deserved that from the story last year. — Caroline Wozniacki

I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo. — Mark Twain

Tracker Marks was of a different opinion. Though he seemed more white than a white man, he had no time for their ways. For him his dress, his deportment was no different than staying downwind in the shadows of trees when hunting, blending into the world of those he hunted, rather than standing out from it. Once he had excelled at the emu dance & the kangaroo dance; then his talent led him to the whitefella dance, only now no-one was left of his tribe to stand around the fire & laugh & praise his talent for observation & stealthy imitation.
The whites have no law, he told Capois Death, no dreaming. Their way of life made no sense whatsoever. Still, he did not hate them or despise them. They were stupid beyond belief, but they had a power, & somehow their stupidity & their power were, in Tracker Marks's mind, inextricably connected. But how? he asked Capois Death. How can power & ignorance sleep together? Questions to which Capois Death had no answer. — Richard Flanagan

What I've written here is a message to myself. I toss it into the air
like a boomerang. It slices through the dark, lays the little soul of
some poor kangaroo out cold, and finally comes back to me.
But the boomerang that returns is not the same one I threw.
Boomerang, boomerang. — Haruki Murakami

What's the matter with you anyway?" Riesenfeld shouts "You look like a moon-struck kangaroo! — Erich Maria Remarque

The Super Constellations took three days to reach London [from Australia] and lacked the power or range to dodge most storms. When monsoons or cyclones were encountered, the pilots had no choice but to put on the seat belt signs and bounce through them. Even in normal conditions they flew at a height guaranteed to produce more or less constant turbulence. (Qantas called it, without evident irony, the Kangaroo Route.) It was, by any modern measure, an ordeal. — Bill Bryson

He (Ozzie Smith) plays like he's on a mini-trampoline or wearing helium kangaroo shorts. — Andy Van Slyke

Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary; the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag. — Rita Rudner

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. — Sid Waddell

Pursuit of happiness is like chasing a moving target - a target stuck to the belly of a frolicsome kangaroo. — Majid Kazmi

America Is A Gun

England is a cup of tea.
France, a wheel of ripened brie.
Greece, a short, squat olive tree.
America is a gun.

Brazil is football on the sand.
Argentina, Maradona's hand.
Germany, an oompah band.
America is a gun.

Holland is a wooden shoe.
Hungary, a goulash stew.
Australia, a kangaroo.
America is a gun.

Japan is a thermal spring.
Scotland is a highland fling.
Oh, better to be anything
than America as a gun. — Brian Bilston

That would be like finding out Mr. Rogers was a serial killer that liked to dress up in clown outfits before he offed his victims. Or that Captain Kangaroo was a Brony. — Mark Tufo

As a kid, I liked making up stories, and I wrote a story about a kangaroo and a bat with Christy Chang, and she went on to become a surgeon. — Aimee Bender

Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan. — Calvin Trillin

Are there any mythical beasts which aren't simple pastiches of nature? Centaurs, minotaurs, unicorns, griffons, chimeras, sphinxes, manticores, and the like don't speak well for the human imagination. None is as novel as a kangaroo or starfish. — William Poundstone

The Orioles' Dick Hall comes off the mound like a drunk kangaroo on roller skates. — Joe Garagiola