Just Joking Quotes & Sayings

Astrid found the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it up over his head. She unbuckled his belt and shoved his jeans to the deck. She pushed him, gently but insistently, onto the bed. Then she undressed herself and stood in the faint light, looking down at him as he gazed up at her.
"You're giving me a reason to live," he said, half joking.
"I'm just recapturing the mood," she said, trying to make it sound light and sexy.
"You captured me a long time ago."
She climbed atop him. "We walk out of this together, Sam. Whatever it takes. You and me."
"You and me," he said.
She would not yet let him have her. "Whatever it takes," she insisted. "Say it."
"You and me," he said at last. "Whatever it takes."
"Swear it. — Michael Grant

His joy was a release of Paul's conversion, not the heavy backslapping practical-joking humor of the Victorians, nor the cynical satire or the flippancy of the twenty first century mass media, just the gift of not taking himself or his adversaries too seriously. — John Charles Pollock

told you I wanted this pretty cock in my mouth. Did you think I was joking?" Green didn't wait for a response. He closed those delectable lips over his cock head and took him into his mouth, going down halfway before pressing his tongue flat against the underside of his shaft and dragging it back up slowly. Ruxs' back arched, his head pressing back into the pillow. Instinctively one of his hands weaved through Green's hair, the other ghosting over his nipple. "I fuckin' love it when you do that. It looks so pornographic. Pinch 'em harder," Green whispered. "I'll come too fast," Ruxs said back, his own voice rough from sleep. "So what? I'm gonna make you come all day. You really have no idea what you've just started." Green went back down and worked his cock like a professional. Slurping and sucking, quick then slow, then fast again. "Oh — A.E. Via

As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing that, we're joking. — Mike Colter

Before he could say a word, she moved closer and pressed her smooth palm to his scar.
He nearly swooned. Clutching the chair at his side, Will swayed into her space, lured by the luscious heat and pleasure that she gave him with that simple touch. A moan escaped him.
"Interesting," she murmured.
He would kill her. Just for that. "I do believe I hate you, Miss Evernight."
Firelight caressed her skin as she gave him the smallest of smiles. "Your sense of humor is odd."
He hadn't been joking. — Kristen Callihan

Not all journalists are really journalists. They ask such stupid questions sometimes, especially the newer ones, and because ... these people can't tell if you're joking around, you just can't have any sense of humour; you really can't. — Ray Liotta

It's okay," I said soothingly. "You're just getting your stride back. Once you're up to full power, I'll go crack a rib or something so we can test it."
She groaned. "The horrible part is that I don't think you're joking. — Richelle Mead

We just stood there for a few seconds. Back when we were friends, we'd have already been laughing and joking. Now things were tense and awkward. There was no way I could ever be relaxed around this person again. To me, Sage would never be just Sage. She'd be Sage-the-boy-who-pretended-to-be-a-girl-and-who-I-kissed-that-one-time. No friendship could survive with that many hyphens. — Brian Katcher

Viktor was swinging a leather duffle and wearing a black Adidas tracksuit and his favorite brown UGG slippers with a hole in the toe.
"Worn and old, just like Viv," he'd say when Frankie made fun of them, and then his wife would swat him on the arm. But Frankie knew he was just joking, because Viveka was the type of woman you wished was in a magazine just so you could stare at her violet-colored eyes and shiny black hair without being called a stalker or a freak. — Lisi Harrison

Shut up, me," Leo said aloud.
"What?" Piper asked.
"Nothing," he said. "Long night. I think I'm hallucinating. It's cool."
Sitting in front, Leo couldn't see their faces, but he assumed from their silence that his friends were not pleased to have a sleepless, hallucinating dragon driver.
"Just joking." Leo decided it might be good to change the subject. — Rick Riordan

You are the strangest girl I've ever met," he said, like he thought I was joking. He picked up his water bottle and gave me a sideways glance. "Have you ever kissed anybody?" he asked, and took a sip.
I smirked. "There aren't a whole lot of opportunities in the digital world. I did practice on my hand once. It didn't do anything for me."
Justin coughed on the water he was swallowing and I slapped my hand over my mouth.
"Did I just say that out loud?" I mumbled.
He was half coughing, half laughing. "Yes, you did," he managed to say.
"Delete, delete, delete," I said, and pushed an imaginary button in the air. "I really miss that feature."
"No, that's the good stuff. People always want to delete the good stuff." His eyes lit up. "That's a cool idea, though. What would you say, right now, if you could immediately delete it, so no one read it? — Katie Kacvinsky

Daniel walked as tall and strong as Ian or Mac, even Hart. "They grow up so fast," Angelo said when he reacheed Cam.
Cameron glanced at him, thinking the man joking, but Angelo's dark eyes were serious.
"Chilhood is gone in the wink of an eye, and then they have to be men. You Anglos are strange, sending your sons out into the world as soon as they get tall enough. My family has been together forever."
"I notice you don't live with them, Angelo, so don't become sentimental. Besides my family is together. Just a bit spread out."
"Rich Anglos need too much space."
"That is true, but it keeps us from killing each other. — Jennifer Ashley

I flew into New York for the Raising Arizona audition, and we just started joking around. — John Goodman

Griff held his breath while Dante's hand slid against the side of his soft bulge. He tried to remember that they were just two friends joking around on the corner in Brooklyn.( ... ) "Yeah. I coulda ... you don't have to play undersea treasure hunt in my damn pants."
"Gotta watch out for that electric eel." Dante closed his hand over the ring and winked and pulled his fist out. — Damon Suede

He spouted out, 'Richy, I've just been talking to a bloke from Blackpool on the phone, there's a boxing show tomorrow night and they are desperate for a heavyweight. Will you fight?'
I retorted, 'Are you joking. I haven't trained for four months; I'll be blowing after thirty seconds.'
He pleaded, 'Howay, man. It'll be a night out down Blackpool. — Stephen Richards

I'd been unable to stop questioning if I knew what I was doing, even just kissing, and I'd sort of sheepishly apologized for my inexperience. Lucius had drawn back, a strange look in his eyes and a half smile on his lips as he'd said, 'I don't think I could allow another man who'd touched you to continue walking this earth. The only reason Zinn survives is the debt that I owe him.' He'd smiled a little more broadly, joking, 'Your inexperience saves lives, Antanasia. — Beth Fantaskey

I just want to make sure that he treats you right! I can't let my little girl get hurt!"
" ... I can't even tell if you're joking or not. — August Westman

Hope you two boys can dig. There'll be some digging to do." "Graves?" Eddie asked, not sure if he was joking or not. "Graves come later." Roland looked up at the sky, but the clouds had advanced out of the west and stolen the stars. "Just remember, it's the winners who dig them. — Stephen King

He looked so strange without his guns.
So wrong.
'Okay? Now that the numb-fuck apprentices have the guns and the master's unarmed, can we please go? If something big comes out of the bush at us, Roland, you can always throw your knife at it.'
'Oh, that,' he murmured. 'I almost forgot.' He took the knife from his purse and held it out, hilt first, to Eddie.
'This is ridiculous!' Eddie shouted.
'Life is ridiculous.'
'Yeah, put it on a postcard and send it to the fucking Reader's Digest.' Eddie jammed the knife into his belt and then looked defiantly at Roland. 'Now can we go?'
'There is one more thing,' Roland said.
'Weeping, creeping Jesus!'
The smile touched Roland's mouth again. 'Just joking,' he said.
Eddie's mouth dropped open. Beside him, Susannah began to laugh again. The sound rose, as musical as bells, in the morning stillness. — Stephen King

All joking aside, I'm a television watcher and I get frustrated with shows sometimes when they set up puzzles and then they don't give answers. It's just more questions and more questions. — Sarah Michelle Gellar

I never insert myself into situations where I am completely blind or don't have a single clue about what's being discussed. I don't to be an impostor and just helping for the sake of helping. If I am going to help somebody, I want it to be valuable. And if they don't follow my advice, then they are a frigging idiot. I'm joking. — Charlie Sheen

How was it Holiday put it? Just because crap pops in here- Holiday had tapped her temple-doesn't mean crap has to pop out here. She had touched her lips. The camp leader had also said that supernatural scientists were considering doing medical research to prove vampires were missing the thingamajig that filtered out inappropriate dialogue. Della wasn't sure if Holiday was joking or not. — C.C. Hunter

If I were human, I'd plow the nicest farm for you.' He sounds completely sincere. 'Better than anyone else's. It would have golden pineapples, the juiciest grapes, and the most flavorful radishes in the entire world.'
I just stare at him, trying to figure out if he's joking. I think he's serious. 'You haven't been to a lot of farms, have you, Raffe? Most of us aren't farmers anymore anyway.'
'That wouldn't diminish my little human commitment to you. — Susan Ee

Well, in some ways I had sort of the opposite experience of other people that are sort of dreaming of being in a rock band. I was dreaming of like corporate lunches and just like, and I'm not really joking. Like the whole idea to me was really appealing. — Carrie Brownstein

I've just been transferred to Kanglung," I say. They look at me to see if I am joking, and then they look at each other. There is a long, terrible silence and we all look at the floor. Karma Dorji wipes his runny nose on his sleeve and looks up. "Oh, miss," he says sadly. "Please don't go."
"Just a minute," I say, and go into the bathroom. I latch the door and turn on the tap full force. When the water is running noisily, I lean my hot forehead against the damp, flaking concrete, and cry. — Jamie Zeppa

It's okay baby, I just want to use the tip." "What?" He stopped smiling and turned me around so that I faced the mirror. "I'm joking. I'm going to use the whole thing. — Joanna Blake

My mom is just someone who's easy to talk to and hang with. My sister, it's always cool to be able to help her out with things. My brother is fun when we're just joking and messing around. And my dad is someone who's helpful with my music and easy to talk to about that stuff because he understands me in that sense. — David Archuleta

You should not take old people who are already dead seriously. It does them injustice. We immortals do not like things to be taken seriously. We like joking. Seriousness, young man, is an accident of time. It consists, I don't mind telling you in confidence, in putting too high a value on time. I, too, once put too high a value on time. For that reason I wished to be a hundred years old. In eternity, however, there is no time, you see. Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke. — Hermann Hesse

The Notebook? You own The Notebook?"
Cam stared at me blankly. "What's wrong with that?"
"Oh, nothing is wrong with that. It's just such a ... uh, chick flick."
"I'm confident enough in my masculinity and sexuality that I can say that Ryan Gosling is just dreamy in this movie."
My jaw hit the floor.
The blank expression slipped away and he started laughing. "I'm joking. I don't own The Notebook. Never watched it. Didn't bring any romance movies. — J. Lynn

The raft finally got here," he said.
Calypso snorted. Her eyes might have been red, but it was hard to tell in the moonlight. "You just noticed?"
"But if it only shows up for guys you like-"
"Don't push your luck, Leo Valdez," she said. "I still hate you."
"Okay."
"And you are not coming back here," she insisted. "So don't give me any empty promises."
"How about a full promise?" he said. "Because I'm definitely-"
She grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss, which effectively shut him up.
For all his joking and flirting, Leo had never kissed a girl before. Well, sisterly pecks on the cheeck from Piper, but that didn't count. This was a real, full-contact kiss. If Leo had had gears and wires in his brain, they would've short-circuited.
Calypso pushed him away. "That didn't happen."
"Okay." His voice sounded an octave higher than usual. — Rick Riordan

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious. — Eminem

I'll walk you back, Jace said. "As for Simon, he can manage his own way back in the dark-can't you Simon?"
"Of course he can, Alec said indignantly, as if eager to make up for his earlier slighting of Simon. "He's a vampire-and," he added, "I just realized that you were probably joking. Never mind me. — Cassandra Clare

It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself. — Salvador Dali

My problem is I love sex. No joking I really love sex. Life without sex is unbearable for me. As a child my mum says I loved men and hated women. I use to smile at men when I was in the pram and offer them lollipops or sweeties. I guess it is in my genes, my little weakness. I can live without the Valium and Vodka but not my sex. To me my choice is simple men or Paradise and I love them both. I cannot make that choice. It is like there is some evil force driving me to flirt and sleep around. No one man has ever been enough for me and now I have to live like a nun in rehab. I am not bold I am just misunderstood. No, don't laugh it is an illness and an exhausting one I am so tired, so very tired. — Annette J. Dunlea

I was joking with isabelle about vampires right before it happened. just trying to make her laugh, you know? what freaks out jewish vanpires? silver stars of david? chopped liver? check for eighteen dollars? — Cassandra Clare

One show, I did a benefit for a feminist organziation....So it's all feminsts. Gloria Steinem is sitting right up front. I walked out and said, "Look here, I can't stay around here too long with you broads because I gotta get home and cook my man a nice hot dinner. Plus, he likes his blow job by nine forty-five." I though it was funny. They didn't. They didn't find anything funny. I thought, Oh Lord, I made these women mad. I stepped over the line. I continued. "Ladies, calm down. I'm just joking. He likes a blow job anytime. — Wanda Sykes

I wasn't posing," Joe said. "Totally posing," Elizabeth said. "Ox - " "Totally posing," I managed to say. "Fine," he said. "I can tell when I'm not wanted." No, I almost said. You're always wanted. I always want you. I never want to leave you. I never want to say good-bye. I'm sorry, Joe. I'm so sorry. I said, "For just a little while." "Yeah?" Joe said. "And then you'll want me? I feel so used." I nodded. "Hey," he said, and he was right by my side, pressed up against me, nose pressed against my neck. "I was just joking. You know I don't mean it like that." "Yeah," I said. He kissed my jaw. "I'll leave you to it, then. And later, I'll let you show me how much you want me." He smacked my ass and cackled as he left the room. WE — T.J. Klune

Wasn't it worth the wait?"
I shook my head as I wiped my fingers again on his shirt. How could I explain that it wasn't just about the sex, that I'd begun to clutch a spare pillow at night, pretending to hold him, that even the occasional chirp of this voice when he spoke in a joking tone brought flutters of pleasure inside me? — Jim Provenzano

We have to get Bugles," I tell her [ ... ]
"Oh, definitely Bugles," she says. "I'm going to get the sour cream and onion kind." She drops them into the basket she's holding.
"Good idea," I say, happy to be joking around, "And while we're at it, why don't we get some dip for them?"
"Better yet," Ava says. "Let's skip the Blugles and just eat dip." We both collapse into giggles. — Lauren Barnholdt

Don't worry, Jet. Just as long as we don't get into any situations that require grenades, we'll be fine." Indy said this like she wasn't joking. — Kristen Ashley

The director sets the tone, and if someone's ruling it with an iron fist, people are quiet and the days go long in my experience, when there's a very serious tone, the days just drag. When there's someone who, in between takes, is joking or laughing the days go quick. — Channing Tatum

Ellie?" he said. Just the reflection of his ice-blue irises seared through me. "Do you know what's coming?" "Goodbye?" I said, only half-joking. Jubal smiled, concentrating again on the road. "Maybe not. — Jamie McGuire

You can easily find out her real name and address with your hacker skills, and I'll just pop out to Cleveland or wherever and kill her. That way she won't beat you anymore at your game. I'll let you choose whether I Own her or not, and how slowly and painfully you want her to die. I'll bring home a trophy for you to display so everyone will see how much I care for you." I looked around his place. "A garland with her teeth maybe, or her scalp if she has nice hair."
Wyatt made a kind of gurgling sound. "Sam. You're joking aren't you? In that weird way you do sometimes? You can't just kill her. I want to beat her at the game, not physically harm her person. I'll work on my technique and I'll win eventually."
Why would he want to do that? This idea was growing on me. What boyfriend wouldn't want a garland of teeth? — Debra Dunbar

I stare in horror at the tweezers. "I don't know how you women manage to put up with having your legs done. or even, you know, your other bits". Joanna smiles. "You should ask your friend Dan,"she says. 'He'll tell you how it feels'. For a moment I just stare back at her,thinking she's joking, before I cotton on. You're kidding? Dan? I point to my crotch. 'Down there?' Joanna nods. Its very popular nowadays. 'I think the guys believe it makes them look, you know, bigger.' And for the rest of the afternoon, I can't get the phrase 'last turkey in the shop' out of my mind. — Matt Dunn

When I am working, I have two shows on Saturday, and when I wake up, and it's a lovely day, I just cry. I'm joking: I love my job. — Elena Roger

In order to fulfill your quest -"
"Would you please not usw that word? It's so Robert E. Howard."
"Fine. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to travel to the far ends of the earth ... ?"
"What? In these shoes? You must be joking."
"Crossing arid desserts and steaming jungles," the unicorn continued grimly, "fording mighty rivers and climbing snow-capped mountains-"
"I take it scheduled public transport isn't an option."
"Until you reach the Cradle of All Goblins, interrupt just once more and I wash my hooves of you, where you will encounter three trials. You must uncover the great truth that was hidden, you must right the ancestral wrong, and you must throw the fire into the ring of power. Only when you have done that -"
"Excuse me-"
"I warned you. Only when you have done that will you -"
"Excuse me," Benny said firmly, "bit I think you may have got the last one a bit turned round. Surely it should be throw the ring- — Tom Holt

I like to watch a bit of Disney, sprinkle some cocaine on some melon and just sit and eat it. I'm joking, I'm joking. There's no Disney. — Paolo Nutini

Before receiving your instruction, I must tell you what happened to me one day. I had just had a closet built at the end of my garden. I heard a mole arguing with a cockchafer; 'Here's a fine structure,' said the mole, 'it must have been a very powerful mole who did this work.' 'You're joking,' said the cockchafer; 'it's a cockchafer full of genius who is the architect of this building.' From that moment I resolved never to argue. — Voltaire

It seems rather prophetic. We were just joking about this the other day."
"I know. Fate has annoying timing. — Kate Noble

I try to visit people in hospitals when I can, smiling and joking while I'm there. But when I leave, I just start crying. — Loretta Lynn

Joking around is part of my personality, just who I am. — Novak Djokovic

Well, I'm going to try. Better to practice on somebody else's kid first."

"Before what?" he asked, cautiously.

"I was just joking." Suddenly, I felt very defensive.

"You're sure your pill is working, right?"

"Yes! Don't worry, If I ever wanted to have a baby it doesn't have to be with you," I said, sensing rejection and fighting back.

"Well, who in the hell would it be with?" he asked, sounding irate.

"I don't know. I don't have a crystal ball."

"I've got news for you, Lilith. If you're going to be bearing anyone's children, they'll be mine," he said heatedly. Suddenly, the baby started crying.

"Now look what you did," I chastised. "You made him cry."

"I didn't make him cry. A shitty diaper made him cry. Now you want to take this on, I'll take it on with you. Bring him over here," Adam demanded, storming off with the diaper bag. — N.M. Silber

Don't think that people hate you, strongly dislike is a better word for it. — Sarah Van Waterschoot

Here was this really nice guy who happened to be uber-shy ... and with just a little encouragement, he was suddenly smiling and joking and having fun. Really, what had taken them so long? — Melody Carlson

Ingra just kept a straight face he hoped Vilenthe was joking. "Anyway." Ingra tried to bring the topic full circle — Charon Lloyd-Roberts

Sophos, you sleep with a knife under your pillow? I'm hurt."
"I'm sorry," said Sounis, afraid that he had made contact with his wild swing.
"I was joking. Wake up the rest of the way, would you?"
"Gen, it's the middle of the night."
"I know," said the king of Attolia.
Sounis tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He was sitting up in his bed. The sky was still entirely dark, and he couldn't have been asleep for long. He suspected that he had just dropped off. The bare knife was still in his hand, he realized, and he rooted under his pillow for the sheath.
"Don't you trust my palace security?"
"Yes, of course," Sounis said, trying to think of some other reason besides mistrust to sleep with a knife. He heard Eugenides laugh.
"My queen and I sleep with a matched set under our pillows, as well as handguns in pockets on the bedposts. Don't be embarrassed. — Megan Whalen Turner

I'm intrigued on how music is made, that's how I started getting into it. Of course I've been in the booth before, just joking around to see how it is, and I'll make a couple of beats here or there and help my artists out. But other that, I'll stick to listening. — Kevin Durant

Dad nods, looks me dead in the eyes; slowly and regretfully, he banishes all the smiling and joking from his face, and for once he's just my dad, watching his son who has fallen so low. — Ned Vizzini

I'm a jokester, so when I was joking on Twitter, it kinda rubbed people the wrong way. And I was like, I didn't make these up. I'm just letting you know they're there. — Gilbert Arenas

I like working solo and it was a lot of fun joking around with the audience, saying things. I'm only just learning how to do certain things. — Art Garfunkel

I actually really don't want to know," I admitted. "Up until a few seconds ago I had a lot of illusions about you being this incredible, sane guy and I'd like to keep them, but I'm not going to be satisfied until I do."
"Fine then, I won't tell you."
I planted my face in my palm and sighed. "It doesn't matter how crazy this is, I'm going to be thinking about it all night."
He gave me a purely demonic grin. "Then I definitely won't tell you. "
My eyes narrowed. "That's nothing to be proud of."
"And why wouldn't I be proud of keeping a pretty girl up all night?" He chuckled and chewed on a French fry.
My face and the back of my neck burned. He had to be joking. No one could say something so horrifying and then eat a French fry. Supernatural beings didn't like fast food, I was sure of it. This was all an elaborate hoax and I just hasn't picked up on it yet. It had to be, and even if it wasn't I would pretend it was. Pretend until it became true. — Katherine Pine

We're here on Sanctuary business," Skulduggery tried.
The man on Deadfall's right bristled, and Deadfall grinned. "Hear that, Pete? They're with that Sanctuary."
Hokum Pete snarled. "I hate the Sanctuary."
"Oh," Skulduggery said.
"We all hate the Sanctuary."
"Ah. Then we're not here on Sanctuary business. I was just joking. — Derek Landy

I always tell Noah to behave or I'll sell him on eBay. You've got to have some way to keep these little buggers in line or they'll just walk all over you. It's a nightmare. Honestly. All the livelong day. Daddy, I want this. Daddy, I want that. Daddy, daddy, daddy! Gimme gimme gimme! I'm like, honest to almighty Christ and sweet and sunny jumped-up Jesus, if you don't shut up, it's back to the basement and the duct tape and the handcuffs again and I'm not joking. Now get me a beer, you frikkin' munchkin! — Nick Wilgus

He'd say "I love you" to every man in the squad before rolling out, say it straight, with no joking or smart-ass lilt and no warbly Christian smarm in it either, just that brisk declaration like he was tightening the seat belts around everyone's soul. — Ben Fountain

My friends just kept joking about all the horrible physical side effects [of Prednisone ]. I can only imagine that something that works that well has got to be bad for you. — Hamilton Leithauser

Coordinates," I say. "Right?"

He wrinkles his brow but then follows my gaze to the string of numbers below his palm.

"Yeah," he says. "For the beach at Grayson. It's, uh, it's where we scattered our mom's ashes."

"Gabe's a sap," Vera says.

"It's not sappy," I reply automatically, but Vera just smiles.
"I know. I'm just making fun. It's my job because I'm older."

"Are you?"

"Yup. I existed in the world without him for nine whole minutes." It starts light, joking, but her voice is soft by the end: "I never want to go through that again. — Emma Mills

We're going to be married and hardly touch each other and have to work and work and never have any fun and we're just going to be okay with it because that's how life is and that's how relationships go, but I don't want that. I want our marriage to be ... fun. I love joking around while we fool around. I want to hold hands everywhere we go. I want to make out in the back of a movie theater, steal kisses in coffee shops, have sex over every inch of our apartment or house or wherever we live. And I'm scared marriage will change the fun part of our relationship. The part that keeps us young, keeps us in love, and I'm terrified you'll wake up when you're fifty and realize you're stuck with the decision you made when you were twenty-seven, and we haven't touched in months, we don't go out. I just want to know when that happens ... that you'll still ... you'll still love me. — Cassie Mae

It's true that what is morbid is highly valued today, and so you may think that I am only joking or that I've devised just one more means of praising Art with the help of irony. — Czeslaw Milosz

I think there's a difference when you make fun of yourself and your own behavior, and when you dishonor or disrespect Christ. If you're making a mockery of Christ is one thing. But if you're just joking about human foibles and weaknesses, I think that's perfectly acceptable. — Patricia Heaton

Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a country, he thought despairingly. In Russia you always knew. If a man made a stern face he was threatening; if he was laughing uproariously, he was joking. — George Mikes

Tax rates aren't everything with regard to incentives to work. I would probably work at a 100% tax rate next to a nude modeling studio. I'm joking, but you know what I'm saying. There's a lot more to it than just tax rates. It's economics that I do; I don't do nude modeling studio economics. People do respond to taxes. — Arthur Laffer

I'm just sorry your dragon is so hell bent on mating with someone as fucked up looking as me," he murmured, keeping his voice light even though he wasn't joking at all. God, everything about her was perfect. It was no surprise she was so resistant to mating with him....
To his surprise, she snorted and smacked his stomach.
"Bran Devlin, you're the sexiest male I've ever met. If you want me to stroke your ego you're out of luck."
Then, to his utter fucking surprise, she slid her hand lower and grasped his already hardening cock before looking up at him. Her smile was an erotic mix of uncertainty and wickedness.
"But I don't mind stroking this. — Katie Reus

I never trained in any acting, other than just joking around and doing my own dinky little videos. — Dylan O'Brien

You're not a good one, mind you. Your technique needs work. You're overeager." Ryan smirked a little. "I get it - who wouldn't be overeager to kiss me?"

Finally, he got the reaction he wanted: Jamie rolled his eyes, though his face was still red from embarrassment. "Fuck off."

Still smirking lazily, Ryan leaned back against the couch, stretching his arm along the back. "Is that how you talk to your best mate who's about to offer you to practice on him?"

Jamie blinked a few times, looking adorably bewildered. "You're joking."

Ryan met his gaze steadily. "Nope. I promise not to laugh at you and just tell you if you're doing something wrong."

Jamie just stared at him.

"Hurry up before I change my mind," Ryan said. — Alessandra Hazard

Hey," he replied. "You look beautiful today."
I glanced down and laughed. Along with my limited wardrobe, I was also discovering that not doing laundry decreased my clothing options even further. I was in jeans and a plain black T-shirt today, and my hair had been lucky to get a quick brushing, let alone any real styling. I'd overslept and figured beachcombing didn't require much primping anyway.
"Liar," I said. "I practically rolled out of bed this morning."
"You forget that I've seen you in just about every state imaginable. You don't have to have every detail primped and perfect. You're beautiful even when you're disheveled. Sometimes more so. — Richelle Mead

I believe that what works for the consumer is to be able to determine what they can pay
even if it is nothing. (Just joking.) Unfortunately, so many depend on credit for living expenses, and the lower payments helped them in the immediate term. I am OK with that. For those who want their minimum to be more, you don't have to wait on your credit issuer to increase the payment
do it on your own. For others, at this time, I think it's a horrible idea. — Trina

The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about. — Anthony Jeselnik

I couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so I resorted to humor, my shield of last resort. 'Just please tell me they don't have a dog and a picket fence.'
He smiled. 'No fence, but a dog, two dogs.'
'What kind of dogs?' I asked.
He smiled and glanced at me, wanting to see my reaction. 'Maltese. Their names are Peeka and Boo.'
'Oh, shit, Edward, you're joking me.'
'Donna wants the dogs included in the engagement pictures.'
I stared at him, and the look on my face seemed to amuse him. He laughed. 'I'm glad you're here, Anita, because I don't know a single other person who I'd have admitted this to. — Laurell K. Hamilton

When you're young, you have all these things to worry about - should
you go there, what about your mother. And you worry, and try to decide, but
then something else comes up. It's much easier to just plain decide. Never
mind - nothing is going to change your mind. — Richard Feynman

Now that I am burned out and I'll never
accomplish anything, I've got this nice position at the university teaching
classes which I rather enjoy, and just like I read the Arabian Nights for
pleasure, I'm going to play with physics, whenever I want to, without
worrying about any importance whatsoever. — Richard Feynman

Abe's face came back into focus. "Greetings, Zmey," I said weakly. Somehow, him being here didn't surprise me. "Nice of you to slither on in." He shook his head, wearing a rueful smile.
"I think you've outdone me when it comes to sneaking around dark corners. I thought you were on your way back to Montana."
"Next time, make sure you write a few more details into your bargains. Or just pack me up and send me back to the U. S. For real."
"Oh," he said, "that's exactly what I intend to do."
He kept smiling as he said it, but somehow, I had a feeling he wasn't joking. — Richelle Mead

Day had gotten a little nervous during one session when the doctor asked God how he would handle someone hurting Day now and his lover responded by jerking one side of his leather coat open and pulling his long blade from its sheathe.

"Easy, I'd cut their fucking arm off and beat the shit out of them with it," he'd said.

But Day quickly started laughing and told the concerned doctor that his partner was just playing.

After popping God hard in his stomach, God agreed and said he was indeed joking. When the doctor went back to writing on her legal pad, God mouthed to him, "No I'm not. — A.E. Via

But it's the same with all my friends, just fun and joking, nothing more. I can never bring myself to talk of anything outside the common round. — Anne Frank

Mmmm, I said after the waiter left, and Augustus smiled crookedly as he stared down the canal while I stared up it. We had plenty to look at, so the silence didn't feel awkward really, but I wanted everything to be perfect. It was perfect, I guess, but it felt like someone had tried to stage the Amsterdam of my imagination, which made it hard to forget that this dinner, like the trip itself, was a cancer perk. I just wanted us to be talking and joking comfortably, like we were on the couch together back home, but some tension underlay everything. — John Green

How stupid, I thought dreamily, to have ever thought I could give this up. Not just the kissing, although, as Archer's hands cupped my face, I had to
admit that part was pretty awesome. But all of it: joking with him and working beside him. Being with a guy who was my friend and could stil make
me feel like this. — Rachel Hawkins

Morley joined them, and after a long, uncomfortable moment, Mrs. Grant decided to ignore his presence. The
guards didn't. Their knuckles were white on their weapons.
May I assist?" he asked, and put his hands behind his back. "I promise not to eat anyone."
Very funny," Mrs. Grant said. Morley gave her a grave look.
I wasn't joking, dear lady," he said. "I do promise. And I never make a promise I don't intend to keep. You
should feel quite secure."
Well, I'm sorry, I don't," she said. "You're just - "
Too overwhelmingly dashing and attractive?" Morley grinned. "A common problem women face with me.
It'll pass. You seem like the no-nonsense sort. I like that."
Claire smiled at the look on Mrs. Grant's face, reflected in the white LED light of the lantern she was holding.
You are really - odd," the older woman said, as if she couldn't quite believe she was even having the
conversation. — Rachel Caine

My dowry is thirty-five. A year."
His brows climbed. "You're joking."
"I would never joke about money with a notorious thief. Just imagine, in a mere two years you're at a profit."
"How I adore a woman who does mathematics in her head."
"I can forge signatures as well."
"Splendid. Exactly the bride I've been hoping for. — Shana Abe

What's going on with your face, by the way?"
Gansey rubbed his chin, rueful. His skin felt reluctantly stubbled. He knew he was being diverted, but he allowed it. "Is it growing?"
"Dude, you aren't really going to do that beard thing, are you? I thought you were joking. You know that stopped being cool in the fourteen century or whenever it was that Paul Bunyan lived." Ronan looked over his shoulder at him. He was sporting the five o'clock shadow that he was capable of growing at any time of the day. "Just stop. You look mangy."
"It's irrelevant. It's not growing. I'm doomed to be a man-child."
"If you keep saying things like 'man-child,' we're done," Ronan said. "Hey, man. Don't let it get you down. Once your balls drop, that beard'll come in great. — Maggie Stiefvater

I had a lot of fun working with Maureen, she was so sweet and so nice to me. We'd have fun joking around. Maureen and I both love to sing and we love it when we got to do it. I was so glad to have had the opportunity to work with her. Maureen is a beautiful person, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. I will always have lots of fond memories working with her. — Geri Reischl

We would make songs, and the producers said we should play it for my dad. I was kind of scared, I didn't know what to think cuz we were just joking around. — Lil' Romeo

Rosie: I know what it is. You just don't want me to be single because I'm a distraction to you. If I'm with a man then you think that perhaps you just might be able to keep your hands off me. I know deep down that's what this is all about. I've sussed you out, Alex Stewart. You love me. You want me to have your babies. You can't stand another day without me.
Alex: I ... don't no what to say ...
Rosie: Relax, I'm joking. What happened to make you change your mind about Bethany? — Cecelia Ahern

Blindly, I ran to Archer, who was sitting on one of the thick mats we'd used in Defense. His elbows rested on his raised knees, and he had his head in his hands. I knelt in front of him, awkwardly wrapping my arms around his neck. He uncurled himself, pulling me to him. For a long time, we held each other, my hands fisted in his hair; his, stroking my back.
"I'm okay," he said at last. "I know that's hard to believe, but nothing hurts. I mean, except for my mind and soul, but those were always a little broken." Gently, we disentangled ourselves and rose to our feet. "Your magic is awesome, man," he said to Cal, who I just realized was standing at the edge of the mat, next to Jenna. "Although I have to say, now that you've brought me back from the edge of death-what, like, hundreds of times?-I'm starting to feel like our relationship is a little unbalanced."
"You can buy me a burger when we get out of here," Cal said, and as usual, I had no idea if he was joking or not. — Rachel Hawkins

Senator Kerry recovering very nicely after having shoulder surgery. The doctors said the senator was fully awake, lucid and joking after the surgery was done, but cautioned that that was just the drug. He went back to his boring self soon afterward. — Jay Leno

People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex usually turn out to be, like, eighty. And their letters always end with, "Just joking." — Dave Barry

I just...I'm really freaked out."
Her expression softened and she covered my fingers with her own. "I know. The joking in the face of death thing kind of gave it away. — Rachel Hawkins

When we put his kippah into the museum, everyone was talking about how much money it was worth and the embroidery by some famous artist and how it was a national relic, and all this -- but I was just thinking of Shabbat, and seders, and -- and it didn't mean any of those things to me. It meant lighting candles. It meant he'd hid the afikomen in the palace for me and joking with his advisors as he waited around for me to find it so he could give me a new book. National treasure? I--' She blinked away new tears, but this time the look on her face was one of indignation. — Shira Glassman