Jo Brand Best Quotes & Sayings

Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important. — Jo Brand

I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'd be a comic now if it hadn't been for that. — Jo Brand

There are comics who treat women fairly appallingly. But I can be great friends with them because I don't tend to do that ticking of boxes: it can make life too simplistic. — Jo Brand

Again, with two small children it's incredibly hard to commit yourself to anything because you're just getting interested in it and someone comes along and goes I want Thomas The Tank Engine on, and screams the place down until you put it on. — Jo Brand

It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally. — Jo Brand

Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue? — Jo Brand

I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work. — Jo Brand

Let's face it: I am not a professional runner. — Jo Brand

I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people up in as many ways as I can - if all else fails - I tell 'em a joke! — Jo Brand

I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.' — Jo Brand

One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug. — Jo Brand

I used to get nervous about three weeks before a gig ... now I've managed to condense it down to a manageable ten minutes. — Jo Brand

You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, One at a time, please. — Jo Brand

Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label. — Jo Brand

Television provokes strong opinions, and sometimes we try a bit too hard to appeal to everyone. — Jo Brand

As the Tories know, the problem with setting yourself up as a shining example for others to follow is that when you get caught out, that proverbial substance really hits the fan. — Jo Brand

How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth? — Jo Brand

I have big friends who won't go swimming because they're too embarrassed about it. I feel that's such a shame, because actually people should be encouraging fat people who are exercising to do it, not pointing and laughing. — Jo Brand

When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then. — Jo Brand

I used to do bell ringing in Benenden church. It was really good fun, actually. My best friend's dad was the local vicar, and so it was expected as her best friend that I would go to church every Sunday with her. — Jo Brand

Universities want to recruit the students that they believe will best represent the university while in school and beyond. Students with a robust social media presence and clearly defined personal brand stand to become only more influential. — Amy Jo Martin

They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more. — Jo Brand

If you're a fat person - and especially if you're a woman - at all stages of your life you'll get abuse for it, so you have to work out a way of dealing with it. The best way is to be humorous about it - that defuses any tension. — Jo Brand

Managers of hospitals over the years have been increasingly recruited from outside the health service, and although their experience of running a supermarket chain might allow them to balance the books, it does not mean they have any insight into how a ward should be managed and patients best served. — Jo Brand

British ferries have stopped transporting live animals to the Continent. This has made it very difficult for England fans to get to Away matches. — Jo Brand

I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days. — Jo Brand

I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight. — Jo Brand

The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet. — Jo Brand

I like to shock people. — Jo Brand

I love doing stand-up. It's so self-contained - you go there, you do it, you go home - but with telly, there are too many people involved with it with opinions. You have a product, and everyone wants to change it. — Jo Brand

I have such admiration for single mothers. I simply don't comprehend how you'd cope with that intensity, the lack of breaks, ever, on your own. — Jo Brand

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society. — Jo Brand

My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed. — Jo Brand

People can forgive each other. — Jo Brand

Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect. — Jo Brand

If you want to get a pet for your child, I suggest a chicken so that when they get bored of it after a couple of days at least you can have a nice roast dinner. — Jo Brand

I think actors go along a continuum from Simon Callow down to kind of Ross Kemp, and I like to think of myself as the Ross Kemp of comedy. He's very good in 'East Enders' because he plays a version of himself. I think I can play a version of myself - that's about all I can do. — Jo Brand

It's a video release as well so I have to be perfectly honest and go, probably not specifically for DVD, but there are extra bits on it that aren't on anything else, so as exciting as that sounds. — Jo Brand

Occasionally, some sitcoms still stereotype women - the old dragon or the dolly bird - but on the whole we've moved away from that. — Jo Brand

I'm just trying to spread the word and upturn the myth that actually you should be resting after cancer treatment. You shouldn't; you should be getting out and doing any kind of exercise you can. You don't have to run a marathon, but you just have to up your activity levels. — Jo Brand

Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan. — Jo Brand

I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up. — Jo Brand