Jim Gaffigan Bowling Quotes & Sayings

You never want to be the worst bowler of the group-because then everyone treats you like you have cancer. "You can do it! We're praying for you." The advice starts. "Use a heavier ball." "Keep your arm straight." "You should get a vasectomy." If you're really bad at bowling like me, they'll ask if want the bumpers up. Not that bowling is that complex anyway. "You want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins. Why don't you take this coloring book and sit in the corner?" — Jim Gaffigan

Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes ... and no friends. — Jim Gaffigan

You can never find the right bowling ball. This one's too heavy. This one's good but its pink! — Jim Gaffigan

"Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn't it be hysterical if we went bowling?" — Jim Gaffigan

I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it son!" — Jim Gaffigan

I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, "The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling." — Jim Gaffigan