Jewish Bar Mitzvah Quotes & Sayings

You can find old Jewish newspapers from Detroit that have my promotional ad in them. It was a totally insane time in my life. Paul Rudd was also a bar mitzvah emcee, you know? It was like being a local rock star in Detroit. — James Wolk

I was there the day that Horus fell. — Graham McNeill

I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it? — Gilbert Gottfried

Scientists blame the audience for being too stupid, shallow, or lazy to understand. There has been a fascinating debate in the blogosphere lately about communicating science to the public, and it's clear that most scientists just don't get it. They can't be bothered to talk to real people. Nobody will care about your issues if the price they have to pay is listening to a long lecture from Morton the science bug. — Mark Powell

Widen your vision of what beauty is. Realize and keep close the fact that a beauty standard has been created by the very people who sell it, and that it is no accident that the accepted "beauty standard" can easily be described as "perfect." Flaws are not tolerated if you want to be perfect. But the models that we see most often--even the tallest and thinnest and most doe-eyed--are still pinned and sprayed and pulled into place. Then they are manipulated digitally until, literally, everything that might be perceived as a "flaw" is erased. This is a way to sell product. It has nothing to do with real life. It has nothing to do with you. We are made of so-called "flaws." They are the thread that stitches our parts together and keeps us from being generic cut-out paper dolls. You are beautiful. You are enough, now and always. You have always been enough. — Lindsey Gates-Markel

When I am at home, I never go near the synagogue unless, say, there is a bar or bat mitzvah involving the children of friends. But when I am traveling, in a country where Jewish life is scarce or endangered, I often make a visit to the shul. — Christopher Hitchens

The Rolling Stones seemed very loose and wild, but when you read about them, you realize that everything they did is very deliberate. — Daniel Humm

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah. — Jesse Eisenberg

That room was not available, and the only other room had been booked for a Jewish bar mitzvah. I called the father and told him I needed the room and I would pay him to move the bar mitzvah to an adjoining room which was smaller. — Lew Wasserman

I smell you when you're nowhere near me. I feel you, without touching. When you walk into a room, I know you're there even before I look up. Every time I see you smile, I smile. Your happiness has become my happiness. Either I'm in love with you, or you really are my very own angel. Either way, we were meant to be. — Vi Keeland

I do not rule out the possibility of being prime minister of India one day, but there is still time. — Lalu Prasad Yadav

I just went to Hebrew school, had a bar mitzvah. No crazy weird Jewish cult. — Hayden Schlossberg

So this was what it was like not to be me. — Miranda July