Jesus Would Slap Quotes & Sayings

Mama sneered at them. "I know you and Clarice are friends, but you can't tell me you don't wanna slap the livin' shit outta that mother of hers. Talk about somebody with her head stuffed way up her own ass. And that sister of hers is just as bad. As far back as I can remember, Beatrice and Gory been usin' Jesus as an excuse to be bitches." She wagged her finger at them and, like they could hear her, said, "That's right, I said it! — Edward Kelsey Moore

For men, being too put-together implies femininity. — Helen Fisher

It was a popular theory at the time that death didn't automatically end a marriage because the spouses would eventually be reunited in heaven. The most pragmatic reason for the Church's view was that England was a land-based society and property was inherited upon the death of a spouse, so a remarriage threatened the inheritance of any issue from the previous union. — Leslie Carroll

He ignores Ivy's request and keeps on. "You never told me you could sing like
that! Jesus, I don't know what to think about anymore. My honey knows she's the
worst dancer in the world, and Dex is like a fucking rock god."
That earns him a slap on the head from Ivy and an eye roll from me. — Kristen Callihan

I feel the weight of time passing, slipping through my fingers faster than I can hold on to it. — Caisey Quinn

Don't pity me now, don't pity me never; I'm going to do nothing for ever and ever. — James Agate

The only place the broken past has in our present, is the place we give it. — Lucian Bane

In life we don't always get what we want; hopes and dreams get washed away so easily, hearts are broken, chances are missed, and we always seem to end up right back where we started. — Rebecah McManus

GIANTS RATS- I Slap all my enemies in the face! And shatter the teeth of the wicked, in the name of Jesus, flee toothless into the bush! — Ademola Adejumo

Wait. I'm everyone!?"
"Now you're getting it," I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
"I'm every human being who ever lived?"
"Or who will ever live, yes."
"I'm Abraham Lincoln?"
"And you're John Wilkes Booth, too," I added.
"I'm Hitler?" You said, appalled.
"And you're the millions he killed."
"I'm Jesus?"
"And you're everyone who followed him."
You fell silent.
"Every time you victimized someone," I said, "you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you've done, you've done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you. — Andy Weir

How in the world do you tellyour wife that her mother was born a unicon? — Bruce Coville

How can a man slap his wife 'in the name of Jesus'? You instructed him to do so! You think I didn't see your e-mail to him a week ago? 'Break her with your hands, then soften her with flowers. — Nnedi Okorafor

L.A. has brought so many opportunities and allowed me to reach the level of success I've been blessed to achieve thus far. L.A. can definitely open a lot of doors for anyone focused on achieving their passion and dreams. — Drew Sidora

The future is open, and I never make plans. As long as it's interesting to me, I try to live my life to the fullest. — Ann Demeulemeester

A promise made should be a promise kept. — Steve Forbes