Jessel Quotes & Sayings

This case reminds me of one in which I likened the Plaintiff's case to a colander, because it was so full of holes. — George Jessel

Marriage is a mistake every man should make. — George Jessel

If you're from New York and you're Catholic, you're still Jewish. If you're from Butte Montana and you're Jewish, you're still goyisch. The Air Force is Jewish, the Marine Corps dangerous goyisch. Rye Bread is Jewish, instant potatoes, scary goyisch. Eddie Cantor is goyisch, George Jessel is goyisch-Coleman Hawkins is Jewish. — Lenny Bruce

George Jessel's newest pick-me-up which is receiving attention from the town's paragraphers is called a Bloody Mary: half tomato juice, half vodka. — Lucius Beebe

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett. — Al Franken

Writers - we're much more comfortable at parties standing in the corner watching everybody else having a good time than we are mingling. — Neil Gaiman

If I could have anything, it would be a radio to ask NASA the safe path down the Ramp. Well, if I could have anything, it would be for the green-skinned yet beautiful Queen of Mars to rescue me so she can learn more about this Earth thing called "lovemaking. — Andy Weir

The very first time I ever heard anything of mine on the radio, I was in New Jersey, and I was in my teens. I did my first record, which was an old standard called 'My Mother's Eyes.' It was the old Georgie Jessel theme. I heard it on local radio out of Newark. And it was very exciting! — Frankie Valli

The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to work as soon as you are born and doesn't stop until you get up to deliver a speech. — George Jessel

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. — George Jessel

The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate. — George R R Martin

Crusaders shouldn't have been allowed in from the start. — Keith Senior

Universal Pictures presents the Georgie Jessel Story. Ted Bessell is Georgie Jessel. Ted Bessell leads an all-star cast of Ted Bessell, Joey Bishop, Jacqueline Bisset, Whit Bissell and Joe Besser. Besser, Bissell, Bissett, Bishop and Bessell. The New York Times says, 'Bessell is Jessel". The Jewish Press says, 'We like Bessell, but only a bissel. — Gilbert Gottfried

I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all. — Ellen Orleans

In cricket, as in no other game, a great master may well go back to the pavilion scoreless ... In no other game does the law of averages get to work so potently, so mysteriously. — Neville Cardus

It was strange, this toxic little vein, strange to stand above it, looking down at night, in a dangerous neighborhood, as if they were in love and entitled to such adventures. — Lorrie Moore