Jell Quotes & Sayings

Have mercy, Dad," said Kami. "Tell me you're here to rescue me before they break out the Jell-O. — Sarah Rees Brennan

Kat happened to get a spot in the cafeteria line-up just behind the young woman lawyer who presented the case against her grandfather. She had removed her black robe too, and Kat found her much less threatening in her cream coloured jacket and trousers. The woman grabbed a carton of milk and then a tossed salad from behind the Plexiglas door. "Stay clear of the noodle soup," she said to Kat pleasantly. "It's vile."

Kat smiled back at her. How odd that this woman could be so nice. It must all be in a day's work for her to tear apart and impoverish families. Kat grabbed some red Jell-O and a carton of orange juice for herself. She didn't really feel like eating: she was just going through the motions. — Marsha Forchuk Skrypuch

Does it scare you?" said Clare. "Living in a house with guns?"
Hunter smiled. "It's not like I wake up in the middle of the night to find them staring down at me."
"Shut up." She gave him a light shove. "No, I mean, are you ever worried you'll accidentally get shot?"
"You mean, when I catch the assault rifle raiding the refrigerator? Like maybe it'll turn on me?"
Her breath caught again. "You have an assault rifle in your house?"
"Sure. It's partial to lime Jell-O. — Brigid Kemmerer

Koolaid is goyish. All Drake's Cakes are goyish. Pumpernickel is Jewish, and, as you know, white bread is very goyish. Instant potatoes - goyish. Black cherry soda's very Jewish. Macaroons are very Jewish - very Jewish cake. Fruit salad is Jewish. Lime Jell-O is goyish. Lime soda is very goyish. Trailer parks are so goyish that Jews won't go near them. — Lenny Bruce

New Rule: Americans have to come up with a better cheese to represent the nation than American cheese. I'm not even sure American cheese is cheese. I think it's aged Jell-O. And it doesn't need to be individually wrapped in plastic, either. You're thinking of condoms. — Bill Maher

You got to be in mighty bad shape in the head to eat greens and Jell-o. — Dori Sanders

When I got close to him, he smelled clean and steamy, like a late June-rain. And I was reduced to a ridiculous, blubbering pile of melting Jell-O. Criminy. — Holly Schindler

I love jell-o. I love the way it comes in rainbow colours, wiggles and jiggles and looks like brains. — Megan McDonald

By accepting out Lord Jesus Christ as my personal shaver, I stooped myself from bumming in jell. — Thomas Brown

YOU COULD LOCK the Gasman in a padded cell with some dental floss and a bowl of Jell-O, and he'd find a way to make something to explode. — James Patterson

My name is Skippito Friskito. (clap-clap)
I fear not a single bandito. (clap-clap)
My manners are mellow,
I'm sweet like the Jell-o,
I get the job done, yes indeed-o. (clap-clap) — Judy Schachner

The butter from Dorothy's' crumpet
Dripped into the bell of her trumpet.
Sweet young Edgar, eating Jell-O,
Dropped a spoonful onto is cello. — Angelica Banks

Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously hasn't tried nailing Jell-O to a tree. — John Candy

My mom makes something called green pie, which I thought was a delicacy that many people only had at Thanksgiving, but it turns out it was just Jell-O with whipped cream on it. And it's delicious. — Bobby Moynihan

My mind didn't register the sounds at first. The woods echoed with the staccato bursts of automatic weapons and people screaming, but it wasn't computing, like Crisco's head snapping back and the way he flopped into the gray dust like every bone in his body had suddenly turned into Jell-O, the way his killer had swung around in a perfectly executed pirouette with the barrel of the gun flashing in the sunlight. — Rick Yancey

Just remember this, Emma
not every Jell-O salad turns out perfect. But it can still taste real good. — Elizabeth Atkinson

When I was a kid, I would make these incredibly bloody movies in my back yard. I was constantly making weird blood concoctions; Jell-O and milk was a good one. I was constantly ruining clothes and staining my parents' walls and stuff. — Fran Kranz

There's always room for Jell-O — David Byrne

I'm sorry about these two," Mike told the waitress. "Just so you know, I'll be embarrassed with you."
"It's just that we haven't seen each other since summmer camp," Becky said.
"And we'd formed such a bond playing wily tricks on our camp counselors," Felix said.
"Remember how you replaced Miss Pepper's shampoo with liquid Jell-O and turned her hair green?"
"It was sheer genius when you stretched cling film over all the toilet seats."
"Oh." The waitress turned to Mike, as if to address the only sane member of the group. "So, are ya'll ready to eat now, or are you waiting for your date to arrive?"
Mike played with the menu. "Actually, she's my date."
"These are my two husbands," Becky said. "We're from Utah. You know, Mormom. — Shannon Hale

The heaviest burden that one has to bear in this life is the burden of delaying too long before putting the fruit in the Jell-O so it's too firm and the chunks just sit on top. — Harold B. Lee

Persecution always acts as a jell for members of cults; it proves to them, in the absence of history, liturgy, tradition, and doctrine, that they are God's chosen. — Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

Tiffany is wrestling in Jell-O. — Mojo Nixon

Have some Jell-O — Marsha Forchuk Skrypuch

Texts between Dr. Stayner & Livie(with a little help from Kacey)
Dr. Stayner: Tell me you did one out-of-character thing last night
Livie: I drank enough Jell-O shots to fill a small pool, and then proceeded to break out every terrible dance move known to mankind. I am now the proud owner of a tattoo and if I didn't have a video to prove otherwise, I'd believe I had it done in a back alley with hepatitis-laced needles. Satisfied?
Dr. Stayner: That's a good start. Did you talk to a guy?
Kacey(answering for Livie): Not only did I talk to a guy but I've now seen two penises, including the one attached to the naked man in my room this morning when I woke up. I have pictures. Would you like to see one?
Dr. Stayner: Glad you're making friends. Talk to you on Saturday — K.A. Tucker

Laughing was like Jell-o. There was always time for Jell-o. — Darynda Jones

I watched bulls bred to cows, watched mares foal, I saw life come from the egg and the multiplicative wonders of mudholes and ponds, the jell and slime of life shimmering in gravid expectation. Everywhere I looked, life sprang from something not life, insects unfolded from sacs on the surface of still waters and were instantly on prowl for their dinner, everything that came into being knew at once what to do and did it, unastonished that it was what it was, unimpressed by where it was, the great earth heaving up bloodied newborns from every pore, every cell, bearing the variousness of itself from every conceivable substance which it contained in itself, sprouting life that flew or waved in the wind or blew from the mountains or stuck to the damp black underside of rocks, or swam or suckled or bellowed or silently separated in two. — E.L. Doctorow

I don't know what you said to my chef," Rick's voice came from the doorway, "but he's now creating a dessert of some kind in your honor."
She grinned. "Just so it's not Jellicoe Jell-O or something."
"How charming were you?"
"I just asked for a sandwich," she said, licking mayonnaise off her finger and turning a page,
"and complimented him on his culinary skills. I'd heard somewhere that his coffee won an award. — Suzanne Enoch

My mom is having a Scentsy party tomorrow," he said.
"The scented-wax thingies? Random. But go on."
He laced his fingers together on his lap. "I was thinking... I know how much you love to smell things."
I nodded. I could spend hours in a candle store sticking my nose inside every jar. "True. I do love to smell."
"Well, instead of going on your suicide mission, you could just come to the party. We could go smell crazy and even sneak a few of my mom's JELL-O shots. Eh?" He poked a finger in my ribs. "Epic, right? — Cole Gibsen

Muslim Girlhood

I never found myself in a pink aisle.
There was no box for me
with glossy cellophane like heat
and a neat packet of instructions in six languages.

Evenings, I watched TV like a religion I moderately believed.
I watched to see how the others lived, not knowing I was the other - no laugh track in my living room, no tidy and punctual resolution waiting.

I took tests in which Jane & William had so many apples.

I fasted through birthday parties
and Christmas parties
and ate leftover tajine at plastic lunch tables,
picked at pepperoni from slices like blemishes and tried not to complain.

I prayed at the wrong times in the wrong tongue.
I hungered for Jell-O & Starburts & margarine;
could read mono- and diglycerides by five,
knew what gelatin meant, and
where it came from. — Leila Chatti

Hell, your kid is fucking my wife, and your wife is fucking me. [ ... ]
Not that she's any good, Zane said, looking at Georgia, and when she made a little cry of protest, he added, Hell Georgia, even Jell-O moves when you eat it. — Jennifer Crusie

As I move along the line, other food items are plunked onto my tray: a small salad of iceberg lettuce and bacos, a slice of white bread with a pat of Hotel Holiday butter and blob of red Jell-O with fruit cocktail trapped inside. Instantly, I feel compassion for the trapped fruit. — Augusten Burroughs

The word "holiday" comes from "holy day" and holy means "exalted and worthy of complete devotion." By that definition, all days are holy. Life is holy. Atheists have joy every day of the year, every holy day. We have the wonder and glory of life. We have joy in the world before the lord is come. We're not going for the promise of life after death; we're celebrating life before death. The smiles of children. The screaming, the bitching, the horrific whining of one's own children. The glory of giving or receiving a blow job. Sunsets, rock and roll, bebop, Jell-O, stinky cheese, and offensive jokes.
For atheists, everything in the world is enough and every day is holy. Every day is an atheist holiday. It's a day that we're alive. — Penn Jillette

The flesh of her butt jiggled like water-filled beach balls, oil drops dangling from a soupspoon, oversized Jell-O dessert cups. — Dennis Vickers

Nothing good is easy."
"Not true," Ludy said. "Sleep. TV. Jell-O Instant Pudding."
"I don't want to go out with Jell-O Instant Pudding," Georgie said.
"I would marry Jell-O Instant Pudding. — Rainbow Rowell

I think this is simultaneously the most ridiculous and most serious conversation we've ever had," I said. "I don't like Jell-O and you wear stripes, and I think that is far more offensive, but I'll still marry you despite the stripes."
I pushed myself off of the couch and went to bed. As I lay there, listening to Luke moving around the kitchen, I had to cover my mouth to keep from giggling. We just had a conversation about marriage using stripes and gelatin as a cover up for the fact that we were talking about marriage. Luke proposed through Jell-O and I accepted through stripes. The idiocy of it all had me shaking with excited, silent laughter. — L.D. Davis

You scared the shit out of me."
"Why, because you nearly let me die without fulfilling your promise to Sara?"
Luke dropped his hands from his face. "What promise?"
"To give me a hug."
"You want a hug," Luke said with disbelief.
"You deaf, boy?"
Luke stared at him. "If I hug you, do you promise not to die on me?"
Edward's smirk faded, and he set the Jell-O down. "I promise not to die today. How's that?"
"Good enough," Luke said, and hugged him tight. — Jill Shalvis

Why was Simpson called "OJ" except in some kind of branding or headlinese that said, "Look, this guy is sweet, wholseome, and nourishing (and 'Orenthal' is just too fancy)? You can have him for breakfast." (And "Sweetness" and "Sweet" are nicknames often given to black men.) Is "OJ" that far away from Jell-O? Wasn't that extended advertising campaign a way of saying you can trust our pudding because Bill Cosby likes it - sweet, wholesome, and pretty? — David Thomson

Team jell takes time, and, during much of that time, the composition of the team can't be changing. If you need to use a reactive strategy of contract labor, your team will probably never jell. In fact, the workforce you manage almost certainly won't be a team at all. — Tom DeMarco

You do not conceive a novel as easily as you conceive a child, nor even half as easily as you create nonfiction work. A journalist amasses facts, anecdotes and interviews with top brass. Enough of these add up to a book. A novelist demands quite different things. He has to find himself in his materials, to know for sure how he would feel and act and the events he writes about. In addition, he requires a catalyst - a person, idea, or emotion which coalesces his ingredients and makes them jell into a solid purpose. — Zelda Popkin

But the transition from the New York Times to the Ashton Clarion was like jumping off a speeding train into a wall of half-set Jell-O. — Frank E. Peretti

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-o, and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have. — Penn Jillette

Growl, you live in a slime lair and maintain an identity as the mysterious overlord of an undersea city, you command a fleet of meat dreadnaughts with crews of humanoid whale people, and you're currently reclining in a pulsating mass of gelatinous goo that looks like it escaped from hell's own Jell-O mold
so excuse the fuck out of me if I question your motives. — Christopher Moore

Ohmigod, I moan, clutching my stomach. I'm sure I'm going to be sick. I'm going to become an exhibitionist vomiter.
My heart is back to beating - racing, actually - as a new level beyond mortification slams into me. I sounded just like the actress in that awful video of Ben's that Kacey made me watch over the summer. Literally. I accidently walked in on those weirdos watching it one night. Kacey took that as an opportunity to pin me down on the couch while Trent, Dan, and Ben howled with laughter at my flaming cheeks and horrified shrieks.
My sister is the Antichrist. This is all her fault. Hers and Stayner's. And those stupid Jell-O shooters. — K.A. Tucker

If you don't know Tom Lehrer, you should - in addition to being a classical pianist, mathematician, songwriter, satirist, researcher at Los Alamos and, he claims, inventor of the Jell-O shot, he is just delightfully funny and graceful. — Rachel Sklar

Bishop had the muscle tone of Jell-O. Rossi — Robert Crais

Amazing how a confluence of praise and lust can just make your defensive barriers collapse like Jell-O on a hot stove — Dan Skinner

I like pork chops and country ham, creamed potatoes, stuff like that. Redeye gravy. It comes from ham, bacon, stuff like that. It's the grease that you fry it in. I eat a lot of Jell-O. Fruit Jell-O. — Elvis Presley

Thank you, Spanx. Because of you, my postbaby body can mold like Jell-O into a svelte, sexy little shape . . . for a few hours anyway. Your ability to lift and tuck simply takes my breath away, literally! May you continue to do God's work and be the progenitor of the muffin top. THANK YOU, SARA BLAKELY!! Sincerely, All Women. — Jen Hatmaker

True autism, Jack had decided, was in the last analysis an apathy toward public endeavor; it was a private existence carried on as if the individual person were the creator of all value, rather than merely the repository of inherited values. And Jack Bohlen, for the life of him, could not accept the Public School with its teaching machines as the sole arbiter of what was and what wasn't of value. For the values of a society were in ceaseless flux, and the Public School was an attempt to stabilize those values, to jell them at a fixed point-to embalm them. — Philip K. Dick

I would marry Jell-O Instant Pudding." Georgie — Rainbow Rowell

You take romance - I'll take Jell-O. — Ella Fitzgerald

I watch some kids ask the cafeteria ladies to sign their books. What do they write: "Hope your chicken patties never bleed?" Or, maybe, "May your Jell-O always wiggle? — Laurie Halse Anderson

Ingredients 2 packages blueberry gelatin 1 small clean glass fishbowl ½ cup blueberries ½ cup grapes 1 package gummy fish 1 package gummy sharks 1 package gummy flowers 1 package gummy worms 1 thick pretzel rod 1 package red string licorice Directions 1. In a bowl, prepare gelatin according to directions on package. 2. Refrigerate for one hour. 3. While the Jell-O is gelling, add blueberries and grapes to bottom of fishbowl; these are the rocks on the bottom. 4. While it is still soft, spoon the gelatin over the fruit; this is the water. 5. Push the gummy fish, sharks, and flowers into the gelatin. 6. Place in refrigerator; serve cold. 7. To make a fishing pole, tie some red string licorice to a gummy worm, place a pretzel rod on top of the fishbowl, and attach the red string licorice to it. — Sharon M. Draper

When I'm writing, I generally toy with an idea until it manifests itself - meaning a phrase or a tune comes into my head and eventually begins to jell. When something hits me, I write it down immediately. I don't wait, or it's gone. — Paul Anka

Raising kids is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. — Maya Angelou

They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table. — Anthony Bourdain

Americans are gluttons. We shop with forklifts. We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food. Our strippers wrestle in Jell-O, where other countries have to use mud. — Bill Maher

Reunited with strawberry, raspberry and blueberry, I am berry, berry happy to be back working with JELL-O. — Bill Cosby

Norman Rockwell, the Brueghel of the 20th century bourgeoisie, the Holbein of Jell-O ads and magazine covers; by common assent, the most American artist of all. — Jerry Adler

I tried to compete with my ill-fitting Calvin Klein button-up shirts that I got at Ross and my imitation mini-ish skirts I got from the DEB. If you're not familiar with DEB, it's like the trashy stepsister of Forever 21 that takes F21 out for her twenty-first birthday, pumps her full of Jell-O shots, and convinces her to get a bald-eagle tattoo. — Grace Helbig

Defining him is like trying to nail Jell-O to the wall. — Anonymous

The three-pound organ in your skull - with its pink consistency of Jell-o - is an alien kind of computational material. It is composed of miniaturized, self-configuring parts, and it vastly outstrips anything we've dreamt of building. — David Eagleman

When Courtney appeared from the hallway, a whisper of a smile emerged on her eerily familiar face; Spencer's legs dissolved into Jell-O. Aria let out a small squeak. — Sara Shepard

The game's in the refrigerator, the door's closed, the light's out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's getting hard and the Jell-O's jiggling, — Chick Hearn

I don't think Kitchen makes this. What's it called again?"
"Jell-O Surprise." Link grinned.
"What's the surprise?" Ridley examined the red gelatin more closely.
"What they put in it. — Kami Garcia

I was born in the Midwest, where 'salad' was cherry Jell-O with bananas in it. Now children are more aware of healthy foods. — Candy Crowley

-Nothing good is easy
-Not true! Sleep, TV, Jell-O Instant Pudding
-I don't want to go out with Jell-O
-I would MARRY Jell-O — Rainbow Rowell

I turned over, and those big hands got to work on my back. I stifled a whimper in the pillow, because Marco's idea of a massage bore no resemblance whatsoever to the relaxing spa variety. There was no lavender oil, no soothing music, no hot towels. Just an all-out assault on cramped muscles, until they cowered in surrender and turned to Jell-O. — Karen Chance

If I'm working on a poem, it's at the forefront of my mind; I'm working on it when I'm cooking dinner or stretched out on the sofa. But if I don't really have it by the 10th draft, I know it just isn't going to jell. — Maxine Kumin

Our city, these streets, I don't know why it makes me so depressed. That old familiar gloom that befalls the city dweller, regular as due dates, cloudy as mental Jell-O. The dirty facades, the nameless crowds, the unremitting noise, the packed rush-hour trains, the gray skies, the billboards on every square centimeter of available space, the hopes and resignation, irritation and excitement. And everywhere, infinite options, infinite possibilities. An infinity, and at the same time, zero. We try to scoop it all up in our hands, and what we get is a handful of zero. — Haruki Murakami

Fuck the Inners, and fuck their magic Jell-O ... Just wearing their fancy arm probably turns you into an asshole, — James S.A. Corey

Thought is a disease of the brain. The mind defends itself against the degenerative process of creativity; it begins to jell; notions solidify into inalterable systems. — Thomas M. Disch

I have qualms and wonder what a qualm would look like if you painted it
probably like a bowl of melting ice cream or a dish of Jell-o just before it sets. — Gloria Whelan

It's as if we spend our entire lives avoiding Jell-O but it is always there at the end, waiting. — John Grisham

It doesn't escape him that the rock holding it up is the perfect fit for his fist. Or how easily one of those needle spokes would slide right through the girl's eye like Jell-O. — Lauren Beukes

These magic moments when rhythms and harmonies extend themselves and jell together and the people become another instrument. These things are priceless and they can't be learned; they can only be felt. — Andrew Hill

How she moves. That's just like Jell-O on springs. She must have some sort of built-in motors. I tell you, it's a whole different sex! Joe: What are you afraid of? Nobody's asking you to have a baby. — Jack Lemmon

I'm the enemy because I like to think. I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy that could sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs or the side order of gravy fries? I want high cholesterol. I would eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese. Okay? I want to smoke Cuban cigars the size of Cincinnati in the nonsmoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I might suddenly feel the need to. Okay, pal? — Denis Leary

I scattered J.Lo's tools around the car, searching for some kind of rope, or something that could be used like a rope. I should have paid more attention to anything that looked like a pencil sharpener made of lemon Jell-O that, when cranked, would spit out superstrong yarn that smelled like ginger ale. I only mention this because J.Lo really did have such a thing. — Adam Rex

Their work is timeless. It transcends the bubblegum pap that passes for music now. A Beatles song is a flawlessly executed kata. Anything else is simply wrestling in Jell-O, he returned with disdain. — Rob Thurman