Jehovah Witness Quotes & Sayings

Being a Jehovah's Witness, I don't celebrate birthdays or holidays. I don't vote. — Prince

Stop screamin', you know the demon said it's best to die,
And even if Jehovah witness, bet he'll never testify, D'Evils ... — Jay-Z

I was raised Jehovah's Witness. I was in Bible school at five or six years old, but I wouldn't say that we were a religious family. — Patti Smith

Have you heard of the Children of Mae?"
"The cult?" She knew of a religious group whose members went door to door, preaching the benefits of self-discipline - abstinence, celibacy or monogamy, vegetarianism - pretty much anything fun was prohibited. They had never come to Vesper's house because her father was a butcher and probably pretty low on their list of possible converts. — Colleen Chen

... she gave me a look that deftly combined tenderness with revulsion. To this day the memory of that look still visits me like a Jehovah's Witness: uninvited and tireless. — Steve Toltz

Jehovah's Witness? Don't sweat it. I'm going to hell, already booked my ticket. Bright side? I'm pagan. Your hell is my heaven ... if for no other reason than you won't be there. — Dennis Sharpe

First my mother was Spanish. Then she became a Jehovahs Witness. — Geri Halliwell

I'm a Jehovah's Witness. — Prince

Jehovah's Witness are welcomed into my home ... You gotta respect anybody who gets all dressed up in Sunday clothes and goes door-to-door on days so hot their high heels sink a half-inch into the pavement.
The trick is to do all the talking yourself. Pretty soon, they'll look at their watches and say, 'Speaking of end times, wouldja look at what time it is now! — Celia Rivenbark

Isn't it the case that Jehovah's Witness patients are regularly treated now by what's called bloodless surgery? No transfusions are necessary. Allow me to quote to you from the American Journal of Otolaryngology: 'Bloodless surgery has come to represent good practice, and in the future it may well be the accepted standard of care.' — Ian McEwan

Remember that summer you liked that girl who worked at the
boardwalk? Angie?"
"No," he said, but I knew he was lying. "What about her?"
"Did you ever hook up with her?"
Conrad finally lifted his head up from the couch. "No," he said.
"I don't believe you."
"I tried, once. But she socked me in the head and said she wasn't that kind of girl.I think she was a Jehovah's Witness or something. — Jenny Han

Imagine America as one house on a suburban lane. Years before he became a Jehovah's Witness, Prince knocked on America's door through his music. He came to the door holding a guitar and an umbrella while concealing a Bible. He flirted his way inside the door and told us he had a dirty mind and was controversial, and then he sat down in the living room on the good couch. And, when America's guard was down, because we thought we were having a conversation about sex, Prince eased out his Bible and said, "Let me also tell you about my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. — Toure

I wonder: when a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to Heaven, does God hide behind the door and pretend He's not home? — Brian Celio

While travelling near Tampa, Florida I passed the "Jehovah's Witness Assembly Hall" and was struck by the fact that that must be where they make them. — Gene Spafford

I lost my virginity junior year of college, I was 21 ... I was awkward, and I was raised Jehovah's Witness so I thought sex was bad, I thought I was going to go to hell, and get AIDS immediately. — Donald Glover

I was reared in a Jehovah's Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. — Jill Scott

Religious pluralism is a popular belief in Western culture. At first it sounds very inclusive, but it is really just as exclusive as any other claims. Religious pluralists are those who argue that the "real God" is actually a mix of the gods of all the religions combined (ie. the Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Jehovah's Witness; and we can even throw in ancient Greek gods). By mixing all the major religions, they are discounting the exclusive truth claims to which religions strictly adhere. — Jon Morrison

I'm always researching ancient religions, and I was also raised Jehovah's Witness, so that kind of scarred me for life. — Michelle Rodriguez

My father is a Jehovah's Witness, and he raised us under a very strict hand. — Damon Wayans

I was often looked at as a leper by kids at school because I was a Jehovah's Witness. They didn't like it - you were 'weird'. And on Saturday mornings, you'd be knocking at their doors. I remember standing there with my mum and dad, thinking, 'Oh my God, I know whose door this is, and I'll have to see them on Monday.' It was terrible. — Luke Evans

Being a Jehovah's Witness, it was really a trip. We had to go from door to door, and we weren't allowed to associate with the other children. It was a lot of rules. — Sherri Shepherd

I got a sense of the amazingness of ordinary life, and I became aware of the marvel that we're around to begin with. I visited a lot of extreme communities, like the Amish, Hasidic Jews, and serpent-handlers. And I was proud, because I think I'm the first person to ever out-Bible-talk a Jehovah's Witness. After four hours, he said, "Okay, I have to go." — A. J. Jacobs

God likes to appear to us in this way. He does not come in the form of God but in the form of man, without making any declaration that He is Jehovah God. — Witness Lee