Jeff Foxworthy Redneck Quotes & Sayings

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge. — Jeff Foxworthy

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication — Jeff Foxworthy

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by. — Jeff Foxworthy

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't. — Jeff Foxworthy

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if ... the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion. — Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if ... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn ... — Jeff Foxworthy

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if ... you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado. — Jeff Foxworthy

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape. — Jeff Foxworthy

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'? — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. — Jeff Foxworthy

I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. — Jeff Foxworthy

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light — Jeff Foxworthy

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event. — Jeff Foxworthy

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police! — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. — Jeff Foxworthy

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if ... you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work. — Jeff Foxworthy

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events. — Jeff Foxworthy

How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado?
You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if ... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. — Jeff Foxworthy