Jealousy Funny Quotes & Sayings

But it was hard work making suggestions and not blatant declarations with her ever-changing Puerto Rican body. — Daniel Jose Older

I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am. — Gustave Eiffel

I used to be jealous; I'm not jealous anymore. And a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer, it's a plague on your spirit, it really is. And I actually cured jealousy in a very weird way - I cured it with mathematics. And I'm not a math person at all, but I've been with my wife for about seven years, so we have had sex probably, I'd like to think, like, 9 million times or, at least, 1,500. So, the way I figured it, if she goes out and screws some other guy once - I'm still winning. — Marc Maron

Nothing frustrates people more than a cocky guy who's still winning. — Criss Jami

So it's true what they say about warlocks, then?"
Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. "What's true?"
"Alexander," said Magnus coldly, and Clary met Simon's eyes across the table. Hers were wide, green, and full of an expression that said Uh-oh. "You can't be rude to everyone who talks to me."
Alec made a wide, sweeping gesture. "And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He's pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type."
"Hey, now," said Jordan mildly.
Magnus put his head in his hands.
"Or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways, Is there anything you aren't into?"
"Mermaids," said Magnus into his fingers. "They always smell like seaweed."
"It's not funny," Alec said savagely, and kicking back his chair, he got up from the table and stalked off into the crowd. — Cassandra Clare

Nice strawberries.
Shut up.
No, I mean it. Cute. — Stephanie Perkins

No," he agreed. "You're not. She never caused me this agony."
What could I say to that? The way he was looking at me was making my head feel funny. Was making me feel funny and not just in that oh God I just almost died way.
Christophe leaned in. His mouth was a mere centimetres from me. "She never made me think I would die of heart failure. She never, never made me fear for her this way. — Lili St. Crow

Truly competent Literary Detectives are as rare as truthful men, Mr. Tweed
you can see her potential as clearly as I can. Frightened of someone stealing your thunder, perhaps? — Jasper Fforde

Let us pray for peace, and let us bring it about, starting in our own homes. — Pope Francis

This is Glesca ... Any time you're confused, take a wee minute to remind yourself of that inescapable fact: this is Glesca. We don't do subtle, we don't do nuanced, we don't do conspiracy. We do pish-heid bampot bludgeoning his girlfriend to death in a fit of paranoid rage induced by forty-eight hours straight on the batter. We do coked-up neds jumping on a guy's heid outside a nightclub because he looked at them funny. We do drug-dealing gangster rockets shooting other drug-dealing gangster rockets as comeback for something almost identical a fortnight ago. We do bam-on-bam. We do tit-for-tat, score-settling, feuds, jealousy, petty revenge. We do straightforward. We do obvious. We do cannaemisswhodunit. When you hear hoofbeats on Sauchiehall Street, it's gaunny be a horse, no' a zebra ... '. — Christopher Brookmyre

Envy is for people who don't have the self-esteem to be jealous. — Bauvard

I've always been serious that way, trying to evolve to a more conscious state. Funny thing about that,though. You tweak yourself,looking for more love, less lust, more compassion, less jealousy. You keep tweaking, keep adjusting those knobs until you can no longer find the original settings. In some sense,the original settings are exactly what I'm looking for-a return to the easygoing guy i was before my world got complicated, the nice guy who took things as they came and laughed so hard the blues would blow away in the summer wind. — Bill Withers

It's a real gift when you find someone to share your life with. — Jennifer Aniston

Funny thing, your brain,
how it always functions on one
level or another. How, even stuck in
some sort of subconcious limbo, it works
your lungs, your muscle twitches, your heart,
in fact, in symphony with your heart, allowing it
to feel love. Pain. Jealousy. Guilt. I wonder if it's the
same for people, lost in comas. Is there really such a thing — Ellen Hopkins

If you were an animal, what would you be?" I wrote, "A bumblebee trying to fuck a marble. — Wells Tower

It's funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say. — Auliq Ice

Don't answer the door without a shirt! Now, go get dressed before you catch a cold," I scolded.
"Why? He was kinda cute. Do you think he would've went for it if I said I didn't have any money?" Wesley asked.
"You're mine and I wouldn't let you prostitute yourself for pizza. Now go put on a shirt," I said, pulling two slices onto a plate. — J.M. Colail

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Books, books, books in all their aspects, in form and spirit, their physical selves and what reading releases from their hieroglyphic pages, in their sight and smell, in their touch and feel to the questing hand, and in the intellectual music which they sing to the thoughtful brain and loving heart, books are to me the best of all symbols, the realest of all reality. — Lawrence Clark Powell

You just punched a prince, Alina. I guess we can add one more act of treason to our list."
I shook out my sore hand. My knuckles smarted. "First of all, are we so sure he really is a prince? And second, you're just jealous."
"Of course I'm jealous. I thought I was going to get to punch him. That isn't the point. — Leigh Bardugo

she shall scant show well that now shows best. — William Shakespeare