Janitor Quotes & Sayings

This is a world where everybody's gotta do something. Ya know, somebody laid down this rule that everybody's gotta do something, they gotta be something. You know, a dentist, a glider pilot, a narc, a janitor, a preacher, all that ... Sometimes I just get tired of thinking of all the things that I don't wanna do. All the things that I don't wanna be. Places I don't wanna go, like India, like getting my teeth cleaned. Save the whale, all that, I don't understand that ... — Charles Bukowski

Could you help Miss Everhart find her way out of my office? And could you please have the janitor check my floors for fucking superglue? *** — Whitney Gracia Williams

I'm not against White writers writing about Blacks as long as they are as objective as say James McPherson writing about an Irish American janitor in his brilliant short story "Gold Coast." — Ishmael Reed

What about Andrews? He doing any better? She spotted him near the entrance of the hangar, talking to one of the Afghan locals who worked as a janitor. The guys rarely talked to her — Kaylea Cross

I remember my own life as a small boy, son of Jewish immigrants, in a janitor's flat on Orchard and Stanton streets on the Lower East Side of New York City. My father made pants and doubled as janitor of a tenement - before he made janitoring at $30 a month, plus rooms, a career. — Jacob K. Javits

I was a janitor for a while but I can never imagine a man calling himself a Floor Engineer when he has to walk into the woman's crapper and clean up what they leave behind. I couldn't get a hard-on for a year after working in that place. what they leave behind. and on the floor. and in that little compartment behind the seat. or alongside of it. or wherever it was. — Charles Bukowski

No one pays attention to the janitor. — C.A. Higgins

Dr. Robert Hare, one of the foremost researchers on sociopathy, believes that a sociopath is four times more likely to be at the top of the corporate ladder than in the janitor's closet, due to the close match between the personality traits of sociopaths and the unusual demands of high-powered jobs. — M.E. Thomas

I'm so thankful when I have a job. I would say the worst job I ever had was the one I quit after the first night. I was an overnight restaurant janitor. And it wasn't because of the job. We had to do four restaurants in the night, overnight. But I was working with a den of thieves. I just quit the next day. — Wendell Pierce

'Community' is a great show. I love 'Raising Hope' with Martha Plimpton. And I love 'The Middle' - another Chicagoan in there is Neil Flynn, who used to play the janitor in 'Scrubs.' — Jim O'Heir

I daydream about a high school where everybody plays the harmonica: the students, the teachers, the principal, the janitor and the cook in the cafeteria. — Richard Brautigan

I prefer to think of it as a knack for coming to your rescue, he declares huskily and winks, before he proceeds to wipe up my mess. Oh good God. I've made Chris Merit my janitor. And, he winked at me. I can barely breathe. — Lisa Renee Jones

I was an infantry Marine, and there are only so many things you can do when you get out of the military that you can apply your job to. Either a janitor or a cop. I tried to do both of those things because what else are you going to do? — Adam Driver

Well, it all started when I figured out that the janitor at my high school was the Angel of Death ... — Matt Ruff

Who cares if you have a girlfriend, anyway?"
"I care," Simon said gloomily. "Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor. And he smells like Windex."
"At least you know he's still available."
Simon glared. "Not funny, Fray."
"There's always Sheila 'The Thong' Bararino," Clary suggested.
"That is who Eric's been dating for the past three months," Simon said. "His advice, meanwhile, was that I ought to just decide which girl in school has the most rockin' bod and ask her out."
"Eric is a sexist pig," Clary said. "Maybe you should call your band The Sexist Pigs."
"It has a ring to it. — Cassandra Clare

With the help of the janitor he screwed on to the side of the desk a pencil sharpener - that highly satisfying, highly philosophical implement that goes ticonderoga-ticonderoga, feeding on the yellow finish and sweet wood, and ends up in a kind of soundlessly spinning ethereal void as we all must. — Vladimir Nabokov

At awards time, The Exorcist was nominated in 11 categories, everybody but the janitor was up for an Oscar. There was no category for what I did. — Mercedes McCambridge

The needs of a society determine its ethics, and in the Black American ghettos the hero is that man who is offered only the crumbs from his country's table but by ingenuity and courage is able to take for himself a Lucullan feast. Hence the janitor who lives in one room but sports a robin's-egg-blue Cadillac is not laughed at but admired, and the domestic who buys forty-dollar shoes is not criticized but is appreciated. We know that they have put to use their full mental and physical powers. Each single gain feeds into the gains of the body collective. — Maya Angelou

The American Left complains that we have no right to be the world's police force. On the contrary. We've been the world's janitor for almost a century, and after September 11, it became obvious it's better, safer, and more productive to change things instead of cleaning up after the mess. — Tammy Bruce

Treat everyone on the organization with respect and dignity whether it be the janitor or the president. — Richard Moran

I understood that Death wasn't the one to be feared. War was the one that laid waste to lives. Death was just the cleanup guy, the janitor, the final act. — Karen Marie Moning

And can you please have the janitor check my floor for fucking superglue?" ~ Andrew Hamilton — Whitney G.

A calling is not some fully formed thing that you find," she tells advice seekers. "It's much more dynamic. Whatever you do - whether you're a janitor or the CEO - you can continually look at what you do and ask how it connects to other people, how it connects to the bigger picture, how it can be an expression of your deepest values. — Angela Duckworth

I've been a DJ, janitor, ditch digger, waitress, computer instructor, programmer, mechanic, web developer, clerk, manager, marketing director, tour guide and dorm manager, among other things. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

But then you heard Sophie was coming to Hecate, and you decided to stay," Lara finished, and her lips twisted in the triumphant smile I'd seen on Mrs. Casnoff's face dozens of times. I stood there, frozen in place, as she turned back to me and said, "Mr. Callahan gave up a chance to travel the world with the Council so that he could be little more than a janitor on Graymalkin Island. For you. — Rachel Hawkins

And now this talk of bringing the UN back into the picture.
But that old UN girl - it turns out that she just ain't what she was cracked up to be. She's been demoted (although she retains her high salary). Now she's the world's janitor. She's the Filipino cleaning lady, the Indian jamardini, the postal bride from Thailand, the Mexican household help, the Jamaican au pair. She's employed to clean other people's shit. She's used and abused at will. — Arundhati Roy

Bruce Wayne's parents get killed and he goes to Tibet or whatever, and Superman is an alien, and Spiderman had that radioactive spider. Me? I kissed a janitor in the school bathroom. — Rachel Hawkins

Six: everyone - and when I say everyone, I mean absolutely,positively everyone, from the librarians to the students to the staff to the oldest, cruiser janitor - was piss-down-their-legs scared of Miles Richter.
Of all the crazy things I heard about East Shoal, that was the only thing I couldn't believe. — Francesca Zappia

A big silvery janitor. Penny, this can't be how the universe works."

"In the Order we call it 'inverse profundity.' We've observed it in any number of cases. The deeper you go into the cosmic mysteries, the less interesting everything gets. — Lev Grossman

In a society that prioritizes man's health, a cleaner is more important than a lawyer. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Oh how nice!" the lady said. But not corny. She was just nice & all. "I must tell Ernest we met," she said. "May I ask your name, dear?"
"Rudolf Schmidt," I told her. I didn't feel like giving her my whole life history. Rudolf Schmidt was the name of the janitor of our dorm. — J.D. Salinger

I think I know what will help you chill."
The way his eyes devoured me hinted I shouldn't take the bait, but I did anyhow. "And what would that be?"
Noah pressed his body into mine, pushing me against the lockers. "Kissing."
I held my books close to my chest and fought the urge to drop them and pull him close. But that would only encourage his behavior, and good God, bring on his fantastic kissing. Fantastic or not, kissing in public would definitely mean detention and a tardy slip.
I ducked underneath his arm and breathed in fresh air, welcoming any scent that didn't remind me of him. Noah caught up to me, slowing his pace to mine.
"You know, you may have never noticed, but we have calculus together," he said. "You could have waited for me."
"And give you the chance to drag me into the janitor's closet? — Katie McGarry

I lived through this, I needed to find a new fuckin' job. Janitor. Used car salesman. Guinea pig trainer. — Jessica Gadziala

Miles paused at the door. "Ah - about Tav Calhoun - " "Yes?" "You know that janitor's closet on the second level?" "Vaguely." She looked at him in unease. "Please be sure somebody checks it tomorrow morning. But don't go up there before then." "I wouldn't dream of it," she assured him faintly. — Lois McMaster Bujold

I think that people don't know how to do anything anymore. My father was a janitor. He could take a car apart and put it back together. He could build a house in the back yard. Today, if you ask people what they know, they say, 'I know how to hire someone. — Walter Mosley

The average newspaper, especially of the better sort, has the intelligence of a hillbilly evangelist, the courage of a rat, the fairness of a prohibitionist boob-jumper, the information of a high school janitor, the taste of a designer of celluloid valentines, and the honor of a police-station lawyer. — H.L. Mencken

He hadn't meant to do it. That is to say, he hadn't set out in his car with the /intent/ to kill the janitor. But he /had/ unearthed Sykes's rotation schedule, and he /had/ gotten in his car at the same time that Sykes clocked out of his once-a-week night shift, and he /had/ seen him crossing the road, and he /had/ sped up. — V.E Schwab

Somewhere between the janitor and the CEO, reasons stop mattering. — Steve Jobs

This morning I lay in the bathtub thinking how wonderful it would be if I had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. I'd call him Rin Tin Tin too, and I'd take him to school with me, where he could stay in the janitor's room or by the bicycle racks when the weather was good. — Anne Frank

God is the great janitor of the universe. Why things don't work is that we have a janitor in charge, and we keep looking for the landlord. — Richard Kadrey

So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah. — Tracy Morgan

Rentals sank, living rose. I could not afford help. I must be owner, agent, landlady and janitor. I loathed landladying ... I tried in every way to augment my income. Small fruit, hens, rabbits, dogs - pottery ... I never painted now - had neither time nor wanting. For about fifteen years I did not paint. — Emily Carr

Real Humility is when I can treat a minister, a prince, a priest, a teacher, a waiter and a janitor with the same and equal respect. — Jeroninio Almeida

I've earned my living in all sorts of terrible ways - as a janitor, a copy editor, a psychotherapist. — Chad Harbach

James Croll, the Scottish janitor and self-taught polymath whose theories concerning Earth's orbit provided the first plausible explanation for how ice ages might have started. — Bill Bryson

In proportion to the mental energy he spent, the man who creates a new invention receives but a small percentage of his value in terms of material payment, no matter what fortune he makes, no matter what millions he earns. But the man who works as a janitor in the factory producing that invention, receives an enormous payment in proportion to the mental effort that his job requires of him. And the same is true of all men between, on all levels of ambition and ability. — Ayn Rand

You're not going to try to guess my name?" She smiled.
"I just realized that you weren't my janitor today. What do you have? — Whitney Gracia Williams

I had decided that I wanted to earn my living as a writer and the only place in Waterbury where they paid you for writing was at the local newspaper. My opportunity came when the paper had an opening for a night janitor. Opportunities are easy to miss, because they don't always show up in their best clothes. Sometimes opportunities look like beggars in rags. After an eight-hour shift in the shop tossing thirty-pound crates I hustled down to the newspaper building and cleaned toilets, with a vague plan that it would somehow lead to a reporter's position. — John William Tuohy

There were no violins or warning bells when I pulled the janitor's theme off the top of the stack and set it before me, no sense that my little life was about to change. But we never know, do we? Life turns on a dime. — Stephen King

I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living. — Thom Yorke

In five days, you can turn the page on policies that put greed and irresponsibility on Wall Street before the hard work and sacrifice of folks on Main Street. In five days, you can choose policies that invest in our middle class, and create new jobs, and grow this economy, so that everyone has a chance to succeed, not just the CEO, but the secretary and janitor, not just the factory owner, but the men and women on the factory floor. — Barack Obama

The Janitor: You're the only one around here that treats me like a real person.

Elliot: What did you say?

The Janitor: There was one other girl a few years ago: red-haired doctor. She used to eat lunch with me, until the other residents started making fun of her. They called her Janitor-lunch-eater. Not the most clever group...Anyway, I know that you don't think about me the way that I think about you. And I never really believed that you would or that you could. But just pretending for today made me feel good for a change.

Elliott: It's okay. I actually had a good time.

The Janitor: Thanks...Elliot. — Bill Lawrence

I guess I can't blame him for feeling bitter. Going from being the terror of Bulgarian nights to a janitor would kinda suck — Kiersten White

Individually the poor are not too tempting to thieves, for obvious reasons. Mug a banker and you might score a wallet containing a month's rent. Mug a janitor and you will be lucky to get away with bus fare to flee the crime scene. — Barbara Ehrenreich

Parents teach in the toughest school in the world - The School for Making People. You are the board of education, the principal, the classroom teacher, and the janitor ... — Virginia Satir

I saw Derzhavin only once in my life but shall never forget that occasion. It was in 1815 at a public examination in the Lyceum. When we boys learned Derzhavin was coming, all of us grew excited. Delvig went out on the stairs to wait for him and kiss his hand, the hand that had written 'The Waterfall.' Derzhavin arrived. Derzhavin entered the vestibule, and Delvig heard him ask the janitor: 'Where is the privy here, my good fellow?' This prosaic question disenchanted Delvig, who canceled his intent and returned to the reception hall. Delvig told me the story with wonderful bonhomie and good humor. — Alexander Pushkin

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight. — Jeff Foxworthy

Of course our school life was not free from pranks. The property of the townspeople was moved to strange places in the night. One morning as the janitor was starting the furnace he heard a loud bray from one of the class rooms. His investigation disclosed the presence there of a domestic animal noted for his long ears and discordant voice. In some way during the night he had been stabled on the second floor. About as far as I deem it prudent to discuss my own connection with these escapades is to record that I was never convicted of any of them and so must be presumed innocent. — Calvin Coolidge

Developing a good work ethic is a key [to success]. Apply yourself at whatever you do, whether you're a janitor or taking your first summer job, because that work ethic will be reflected in everything you do in life. — Tyler Perry

Well, I guess that early 12 string. The first Martin I bought. I bought it around 1957 with money I earned as a janitor assistant. I bought brand new. I still have that. — Roger McGuinn

You're the healing janitor dude."
"Groundskeeper."
"Isn't that like a janitor?"
"No, it's like a groundskeeper. — Rachel Hawkins

I wrote these letters in the mornings before work, in the library, during my sessions of prolonged loitering in Commons, where I remained every evening until asked to leave by the janitor. It seemed my whole life was composed of these disjointed fractions of time, hanging around in one public place and then another, as if I were waiting for trains that never came. And, like one of those ghosts who are said to linger around depots late at night, asking passersby for the timetable of the Midnight Express that derailed twenty years before, I wandered from light to light until that dreaded hour when all the doors closed and, stepping from the world of warmth and people and conversation overheard, I felt the old familiar cold twist through my bones again and then it was all forgotten, the warmth, the lights; I had never been warm in my life, ever. — Donna Tartt

In the nineteen years since then, I had learned eleven languages and 713 songs. I had found ways to conceal what I was - even, I was fairly sure, from the Lord of the Radch herself. I had worked as a cook, a janitor, a pilot. I had settled on a plan of action. I had joined a religious order, and made a great deal of money. In all that time I only killed a dozen people. — Ann Leckie

Dude, your girlfriend is so far past high maintenance even the janitor quit. — Samantha Young

YOU WEREN'T born choking on no silver spoon, you know how it goes when you go looking for a job and you need one: You wait in the first indifferent room, ink in the forms, apply in another room with linoleum that's waxy and squeaks and overhead lights that don't miss a thing; then there's the desk and the person behind it who thinks he's an admiral, or it's a she and she thinks she's now in line for the throne to somewhere, and next you're kissing ass and aw-shucksing toward the desk, telling how bad all your life you've been wanting to be night janitor in a chemical plant, or hog wrangler in a slaughterhouse, or pizza delivery boy, how you've laid awake in bed gettin' goose bumps just from imagining how high and wide your life might someday be lived if ever you could average five dollars and forty cents an hour. But — Daniel Woodrell

But at the end of the day, I refuse to believe there arent more qualified African-Americans, women, people of color in general for a role from the janitor all the way up to the owner of the club. I refuse to believe there arent more out there that can positively affect any of our games or any of our industries. — Tony Clark

If Cloverleaf McCarty loses his shamrock singlet one more time, he's fired," Lucille said, slicing one finger against her long, serpentine neck for effect. A janitor walking past her office window saw the move, flinched, and looked down before there was a chance that he and "The Boss Lady" could make eye contact. — Holly Tierney-Bedord

I surveyed the others, who had all stopped in their tracks. So what was the plan, boys? You were all going to get a fuck in? The very definition of sloppy seconds - hell, sloppy thirds and fourths and fifths. Than what? Slit my throat? Leave me for dead? Let some school janitor find me stuffed in a dumpster? You would deny my children their mother for one night of cheap thrills? — J.R. Rain

My younger brother runs a guesthouse, and my sister is a janitor. I have not given them money because they earn their own money. I pay for their children's school fees. — Chen Guangbiao

A languid janitor bears
His lantern through colonnades
And the architecture swoons. — Wallace Stevens

When he mentioned family, I could only think of my father, my real father, the Long Island janitor with the impenetrable accent and true-to-life smells. My mind returned away from what Joshie was saying and I pondered my father's humiliation. The humiliation of growing up a Jew in the Soviet Union, of cleaning piss-stained bathrooms in the States, of worshipping a country that would collapse as simply and inelegantly as the one he had abandoned. — Gary Shteyngart

Oh I'm in love with the janitor's boy, And the janitor's boy loves me; He's going to hunt for a desert isle In our geography. — Nathalia Crane

Just imagine how fast, innovative and excellent your business will be once every single teammate - from the janitor to the executive - begins to see themselves as the CEO of their own area of responsibility. — Robin S. Sharma

I told her my father was a retired janitor who liked to go fishing. She told me her father was a podiatrist who liked to punch his wife and two daughters in the face. — Gary Shteyngart

My mother taught public school, went to Harvard and then got her master's there and taught fifth and sixth grade in a public school. My dad had a more working-class lifestyle. He didn't go to college. He was an auto mechanic and a bartender and a janitor at Harvard. — Ben Affleck

We're taught to talk about the world as a world of as states conceived as unified, coherent entities. If you study international relations (IR) theory, there's what's called "realist" IR theory, which says there is an anarchic world of states and states pursue their "national interest." It's in large part mythology. There are a few common interests, like we don't want to be destroyed. But, for the most part, people within a nation have very different interests. The interests of the CEO of General Electric and the janitor who cleans his floor are not the same. — Noam Chomsky

With regard to the idea of whether you have a right to health care, you have realize what that implies. It's not an abstraction. I'm a physician. That means you have a right to come to my house and conscript me. It means you believe in slavery. It means that you're going to enslave not only me, but the janitor at my hospital, the person who cleans my office, the assistants who work in my office, the nurses. — Rand Paul

I've never been a fan of personality-conflict burgers and identity-crisis omelets with patchouli oil. I function very well on a diet that consists of Chicken Catastrophe and Eggs Overwhelming and a tall, cool Janitor-in-a-Drum. I like to walk out of a restaurant with enough gas to open a Mobil station. — Tom Waits

It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid ... These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school. — Newt Gingrich

The homosexuals fist fuck in the steam room
while the janitor isn't looking. He calls
and never speaks but you can hear Oahu rain.
Press your ear against the glass and heart another
life
not happening, the soundless blur of snow
on the plasma screen. — Eric Gamalinda

Kayn began to speak as if she were reading his obituary. "I can see the paper now; it would read something like this; Kevin Smith was a wonderful boy so smart and good looking but a little clumsy. Had he simply tied up his shoes he would have never tripped down the stairs and found himself impaled on a janitor's broom. Remember kids; tie your shoes; safety first." (The Children of Ankh series) — Kim Cormack

Alfred T. Slipper was a janitor. Most of the time (often, in fact) they treated him with disdain. They had no idea of the astonishing acts of heroism, the blinding light, contained within his outward humdrum disguise.
Only Alfred's parakeet, Dolores, knew who he was and what he could do. — Kate DiCamillo

You think I'm going to let you burn in hell alone? Just don't shoot the janitor. — Chelsea Cain

In my early teens, I was a janitor. In high school, I got up early to deliver to accounts that required early service. — Joseph B. Wirthlin

If they had told me I was the janitor and would have to mop up and clean the toilets after the show in order to play, I probably would have done it. — Bruce Springsteen

As for the military advantage of such a bombardment, I simply cannot grasp it. I have seen housewives disemboweled, children mutilated; I have seen the old itinerant market crone sponge from her treasure the brains with which they were spattered. I have seen a janitor's wife come out of her cellar and douse the sullied pavement with a bucket of water, and I am still unable to understand what part these humble slaughterhouse accidents play in warfare. — Antoine De Saint-Exupery

There's a story about when President Lyndon Johnson visited NASA and as he was walking the halls he came across a janitor who was cleaning up a storm, like the Energizer bunny with a mop in his hand. The president walked over to the janitor and told him he was the best janitor he has ever seen and the janitor replied, "Sir, I'm not just a janitor, I helped put a man on the moon." See, even though he was cleaning floors he had a bigger purpose and vision for his life. This is what kept him going and helped him excel in his job. — Jon Gordon

And you do know I'm the one who decides who I date" - she glared at Sam - "not you. If I want to drag this guy into the janitor's closet and have my way with him, that's none of your business."
"Drag me into a closet?" Hunter asked, his eyebrows up near his hairline. "Offer to buy me dinner first, then I'm all yours. — Ophelia London

After all your years climbing around in people's heads like a cranial janitor, do you think people know why they do things? People rationalize, they turn their delusions into something romantic that they can disguise as ethics or principles or ideals. People are selfish, Doctor- odiously, monstrously, but in so small and paltry a monstrousness that we barely notice it. — Dennis Lehane

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor. — Frankie Boyle

I got married at 19 and graduated from a commuter college in Texas that cost $50 a semester. The way I see it, I'm a janitor's daughter who became a public school teacher, a professor, and a United States Senator. America is truly a country of opportunity! — Elizabeth Warren

During his first year at the Eclectic that, by his second year, the school had promoted him from janitor to assistant professor. — Candice Millard

Death is the opposite of lonely, and lonely is the only thing the janitor owns. It is the only thing that's hers. And that makes loneliness beautiful, out here among the cold and bright beginnings. — Amber Sparks

Wait, wait, wait," Breckin says, interrupting the story. "You called her Cinderella? What the hell for?"
Daniel shrugs. "We were in a janitor's closet. I didn't know her name and there were all these mops and brooms and shit and it reminded me of Cinderella, okay? Give me a break. — Colleen Hoover

I've been very lucky in my employment over the years. You would think that the worst job I've ever had was as janitor, but it really wasn't, because I was a janitor at my dad's office building when I was younger. — Chris Carmack

Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex."
"At least you know he's still available. — Cassandra Clare

If you put down a list of jobs, doctor, lawyer, janitor, teacher or movie star, everybody would pick the movie star. And why? So you could lie around the pool, drink margaritas and send money to your parents. So that's what I did. — Steve Guttenberg

Among Arabs he was a Berber, among Frenchmen an Arab, among his own a nothing, as I'd been a Jew among Arabs, an Egyptian among strangers and now an alien among WASPs, the clueless janitor trying out for the polo team. — Andre Aciman

If Mary had applied for a job as janitor, the doors to the school would swing wide open. As a professional engineer-in-training with a plan to occupy the building for the nefarious purpose of advancing her education, she needed to petition the city of Hampton for "special permission" to attend classes in the whites-only school. Mary — Margot Lee Shetterly

Who lives in true poverty - The janitor who is grateful for the chocolate chip pancakes his 6 year old helped his wife prepare for dinner, or The CEO who is ungrateful for the type of wine served with his 5-star meal? — Julia Rose