Jane Austen Literature Humor Quotes & Sayings

Maybe you should slow down, so I can catch you. — Melissa Marr

My Lawyer being practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falsehood; is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which as an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness if not with Ill-will. — Jonathan Swift

Generalizations about the "way women are" and estimates of what is appropriate for most women no longer justify denying opportunity to women whose talent and capacity place them outside the average description. — Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Eyes like streams of melting snow, cold with the things she does not know. Heaven above and Hell beneath, liquid flames to hide her grief. Death, death, death with no release. Death, death, death with no release. — Kiersten White

All the Jane Austen in the library cannot wash the Queens from this little hand. — Mary Gordon

I always find that after reading books written by Jane Austen that I speak much more properly, at least for a while. — Becky Watson

The American Petroleum Institute filed suit against the EPA [and] charged that the agency was suppressing a scientific study for fear it might be misinterpreted ... The suppressed study reveals that 80 percent of air pollution comes not from chimneys and auto exhaust pipes, but from plants and trees. — Ronald Reagan

There's no way on God's green earth that I'm dressing up like Mr. Darcy." Brooks stretched out on Caroline's bed, hanging his suede wing tips off the edge and crossing his ankles. He laced his fingers behind his head and looked infuriatingly cool and relaxed.
"Not Mr. Darcy. That's the guy from Pride and Prejudice. You're supposed to come as Mr. Knightley. — Mary Jane Hathaway

Remind me why I'm doing this again?" I whispered back.
"For your real friends, of course: Me, Caleb, and Chad."
"That's sweet of you to say, but I'm not sure we're all friends. Mr. Darcy over here," I indicated Caleb with a nod, "finds me barely tolerable. — Amy Helmes

Jane Austen may not be the best writer, but she certainly writes about the best people. And by that I mean people just like me. — Anna Quindlen

Let's get this movie started. There's nothing like a little Austen to soothe the wounded soul," Theresa said. — Mary Jane Hathaway

I feel weird." Caroline blinked a few times. "Do you feel weird?"
Brooks shrugged. "How weird? We're all dressed like people in a Jane Austen book. I think weird comes with the territory. — Mary Jane Hathaway

I've found my missin' piece So grease my knees and fleece my bees I've found my missin' piece! — Shel Silverstein

Jane Austen would be so proud. Another girl trussed up for a fancy party."
"On the contrary, she'd be horrified. All that skin. You'd need about another five yards of material. — Mary Jane Hathaway

[I]t is well to have as many holds upon happiness as possible. — Jane Austen

For it was a truth universally acknowledged that a single vicar must be in want of a wife. — G.M. Malliet

Your failures and your faults, they stick with you. They glob into ugly, cancerous growths inside you and make you want to die. — Julie Anne Peters

Thank you. There were three of us kids, all right together. I'm the oldest, she was the knee-baby, and my brother Henry came last. Funny, I miss her all the time, but I miss her most when I'm reading Austen. We'd been fans since we were in the seventh and eighth grade, two Creole girls gigglin' about marriage proposals gone bad. Our daddy teased us about reading each other passages during a Fourth of July crawfish boil, so he named the biggest one Mr. Darcy and threw him in the pot." She looked up, a smile fighting the tears in her eyes. "We refused to eat him. — Mary Jane Hathaway