Jack Handy Birthday Quotes & Sayings

No, you should stay right where you are, or my estranged brother and I will settle our difference by seeing who can break more of your bones."
Tod glanced at him, brows raised. "You want to settle our differences?"
Nash frowned. "No, I want to break every bone in his body, and I didn't think you'd let me do it alone."
Tod nodded. "Good call. — Rachel Vincent

Spirituality is worthless if it's not practical. Music is my work. I am a musician. — John McLaughlin

Grant that I may become beautiful in my soul within, and that all my external possessions may be in harmony with my inner self. May I consider the wise to be rich, and may I have such riches as only a person of self-restraint can bear or endure. — Plato

The admitted right of a government to prevent the influx of elements hostile to its internal peace and security may not be questioned, even where there is not treaty stipulation on the subject. — Grover Cleveland

I say, 'Why not' to everything. — Russell Westbrook

Trying to find equivalents for things in words helps me find equivalents in painting. — Emily Carr

First, there will be no kidnapping. I know you're stronger and bigger and have magic and crap, but I'm drawing the line at kidnapping. — Carrie Ann Ryan

Seeing your friend's penis and riding it hard moved us beyond the point of no return. — Becca Lee

Doing good is the only certainly happy action of a man's life. — Philip Sidney

I truly hope the future will bring me something to feel nostalgic about, because there's really nothing much so far I can remember fondly. — Elliott Smith