Jace Humor Quotes & Sayings

Look, did you ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I was something in a petri dish? Next time I'll send you a photo."
"And I'll frame it and put it on my nightstand," said Jace. — Cassandra Clare

I forgot," Isabelle muttered as the rest of them caught up to her. "Faeries have no sense of humor."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," said Jace. "There's a pixie nightclub downtown called Hot Wings. Not," he added, "that I have ever been there. — Cassandra Clare

Jace shook his blond head in exasperation.
You had to make a crazy jail friend, didn't you? You couldn't just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do? — Cassandra Clare

I have a heart!"
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do," he says. "Look, I'll prove it to you." He reaches into the tub and wraps his arms around Hector, suds and all. "Oooh," he says in a baby voice. "Ooooh, Hector, you're such a good boy, oooh, I love you, Hector."
Hector's tail immediately starts wagging, and he pushes his snout into Jace's face and starts licking it. "Oh, Hector, you're so sweet," Jace says. "You're just the best dog."
Hector moves and Jace's elbows slip, causing Jace's whole upper body to slide over the side and into the tub. For a second, everyone freezes. I'm afraid Jace is going to be mad, since now he's soaking wet, but instead he just says, "Oooh, Hector, that's okay," and then slides his whole body into the tub, clothes and all.
Hector gives a happy bark, glad to have a friend with him, and then plants his front paws on Jace's chest. — Lauren Barnholdt

Some burns," Clary said. "Nothing that matters"
"Everything that happens to you matters to me."
"Well that certainly explains why you haven't called me back once. And the last time I saw you, you ran away without telling me why. It's like dating a ghost."
Jace's mouth quirked up slightly at the side. "Not exactly. Isabelle actually dated a ghost. She could tell you
"
"No," Clary said. "It was a metaphor. And you know exactly what I mean. — Cassandra Clare

How ... how are you doing, Jace?" Dr. Pete manages.
"Holding on. Just barely. Charlie?"
Charlie's tone is almost conversational. "Kind of getting the urge to kill both of you.Think I'm gonna head back."
"Sure, okay, no problem."
"Yeah, yeah, good idea. You do that."
Charlie turns and trudges away. It's just Dr. Pete and me now. — D.D. Barant

So you really cant think of anyone else who might want to kill you?"asked Jace.
"Unlike in your case there arent actually all that many people who dislike me."said Simon. — Cassandra Clare

Why are you here?"
"'Here' as in your bedroom, or 'here' as in the great, spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you're asking me whether this is all some cosmic coincidence or if there's a greater meta-ethical purpose to life, well, that's a puzzler for the ages. I mean, modern-day reductionism is clearly a fallacious argument, but-,"
-"I'm going back to bed."
-"I'm here because Hodge reminded me it's your birthday. — Cassandra Clare

The Tragallion pack wasn't exactly welcoming them with open arms ... All in all they were an angry, weary-looking group. Jace tucked Miri a little closer in to his side. "Remind me to deck Ian next time I set eyes on him."
She glanced up. "If you hold him, I'll do it for you. — Sarah McCarty

So, technically," Simon said, "even though Jace isn't actually related to you, you have kissed your brother. — Cassandra Clare

Alec?" Magnus was staring at him. He had dispatched the remaining Iblis demons, and the square was empty but for the two of them. "Did you just- did you just save my life?"
Alec knew he ought to say something like, Of course, because I'm a Shadowhunter and that's what we do, or That's my job. Jace would have said something like that. Jace always knew the right thing to say. But the words that actually came out of Alec's mouth where quite different- and sounded petulant, even to his own ears. "You never called me back," he said. "I called you so many times and you never called me back."
Magnus looked at Alec as if he'd lost his mind. "Your city is under attack," he said. "The wards have broken, and the streets are full of demons. And you want to know why I haven't called you? — Cassandra Clare

I think she just asked if she could touch my mango. — Cassandra Clare

He has fought many battles with us" (Jace)
By which you mean one battle" muttered Simon. "Two if you count the one I was a rat — Cassandra Clare

It's fascinating. You know all these words, and they're all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don't make any sense. — Cassandra Clare

My rapier wit hides my inner pain. — Cassandra Clare

Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casius
oh i do,I'm just so pissed i had extra left over - Jace — D.D. Barant

Then you're aping him. Valentine was one of the most arrogant and disrespectful men I've ever met. I suppose he brought you up to be just like him."
"Yes," Jace said, unable to help himself, "I was trained to be an evil mastermind from a young age. Pulling the wings off flies, poisoning the earth's water supply - I was covering that stuff in kindergarten. I guess we're all just lucky my father faked his own death before he got to the raping and pillaging part of my education, or no one would be safe. — Cassandra Clare

I am a man, and men do not drink pink drinks. Now, be gone, woman, and fetch me something brown." Jace said.
"Brown?" said Isabelle.
"Yes. Brown. It's a manly color. See? Alec is wearing it." Jace said.
"Well, it was black but it faded." Alec said.
"Well, I can always fix it up with something sparkly," Magnus said, holding a sparkley headband.
"Resist the urge, Alec, resist the urge." Simon said. — Cassandra Clare

She saw the beginning of puzzlement cross his face, and then there was an explosion and the door of the room blew open in a shower of splinters.
Magnus strode in, looking hectic, his black hair sticking up and his clothes rumpled.
Jace leaned away from Clary, but only slightly. His eyes were narrowed. "I would say 'Don't you knock?' but it seems evident you don't," he said. "We are, however, busy."
Magnus waved a dismissive hand. "I've walked in on your ancestors doing worse," he said. "Besides, it's an emergency."
"Magnus," said Clary, "this better not be about the flowers. Or the cake."
Magnus scoffed. "I said an emergency. This is an engagement party, not the Battle of Normandy."
"The battle of what?" said Jace, who was not up on his mundane history. — Cassandra Clare

Sebastian just smiled. "I could hear your heart beating," he said softly. "When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?"
"That you seem to be dating my dad?" Jace shrugged. "You're a little young for him, to be honest."
"What?" For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted. — Cassandra Clare

NOw he's back from the dead and he's come looking for her. Maybe he wants to get back together." (Isabelle)
"I doubt he sent a horde of demons to her house because he wants to 'get back together.'" (Alec)
"It wouldn't be my move. First the candy, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hordes. In that order." (Jace) — Cassandra Clare

Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw Jace shoot her a look of white rage - but when she glanced at him, he looked as he always did: easy, confident, slightly bored.
"In future, Clarissa," he said, "it might be wise to mention that you already have a man in your bed, to avoid such tedious situations."
"You invited him into bed?" Simon demanded, looking shaken.
"Ridiculous, isn't it?" said Jace. "We would never have all fit."
"I didn't invite him into bed," Clary snapped. "We were just kissing."
"Just kissing?" Jace's tone mocked her with its false hurt. "How swiftly you dismiss our love. — Cassandra Clare

Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?"
"I though it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house at night and throw up in his mailbox. — Cassandra Clare

You might want to put some clothes on' suggested Jace 'I'm all for the bra and panties look, but you don't want the Silent Brothers to die of excitement — Cassandra Clare

I mean, what does a devil want but to find meaning in life after a long journey of turmoil and troubles? — Cameron Jace

Hotter than me? --Jace — Cassandra Clare

Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?
Jace: I was following you.
Simon: Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? — Cassandra Clare

I told you he'd freak out, she siad. didn't i?
ah, the i told you so, jace said. always a classy move — Cassandra Clare

Jace's eyes sparkled, but he said calmly, "Not at all. the Silent Brothers can help her retrieve her memories."
"You hate the Silent Brothers," protested Isabelle.
"I don't hate them," said Jace candidly."I'm afraid of them. It's not the same thing."
"I thought you said they were libarians," said Clary.
"They are librarians."
Simon whistled. "Those must be some killer late fees. — Cassandra Clare

Perhaps there isn't anything Alec is afraid of."
Magnus glanced at Alec and raised his eyebrows. "Boo," he said.
Jace was grinning. "Come on, surely you've got a phobia or two. What scares you?"
Alec thought for a moment. "Spiders," he said.
Clary turned to Luke. "Have you got a spider anywhere?"
Luke looked exasperated. "Why would I have a spider? Do I look like someone who would collect them?"
"No offense," Jace said, "But you kind of do."
"You know"
Alec's tone was sour
"Maybe this was a stupid experiment."
"What about the dark?" Clary suggested. "We could lock you in the basement."
"I'm a demon hunter," Alec said, with exaggerated patience. "Clearly, I am not afraid of the dark. — Cassandra Clare

It means 'Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234'. — Cassandra Clare

Jace suggested that the cast of "Gilligan's Island" could go do something anatomically unlikely with themselves. — Cassandra Clare

No. Absolutely not.'
'Simon,' she said. 'It's a perfectly fine plan.'
'The plan where you follow Jace and Sebastian off to some unknown dimensional pocket and we use these rings to communicate so those of us over here in the regular dimension of Earth can track you down? That plan?'
'Yes.'
'No,' he said. 'No, it isn't.'
Clary sat back. 'You don't just get to say no.'
'This plan involves me! I get to say no! No.'
'Simon - '
Simon patted the seat beside him as if someone were sitting there. 'Let me introduce you to my good friend No. — Cassandra Clare

You look lousy,"Simon said.
Jace blinked."Seems an odd time to start an insult contest,but if you insist,I could probably think up something good — Cassandra Clare

Molesting the vampire while he's too weak to fight back, iz? jace asked. i'm pretty sure that violates at least one of the accords. — Cassandra Clare

It's not gray," Clary felt compelled to point out. "It's green."
"If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood," said Jace. — Cassandra Clare

Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression.
"Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing. — Cassandra Clare

Jace perched on the windowsill and looked down at him. "You really don't get this bodyguard thing, do you?"
"I didn't even think you liked me all that much," said Simon. "Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?"
"I thought it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house a night and throw up in his mailbox."
"I'm pretty sure that's not it — Cassandra Clare

If we're going to the Silent City, you might want to get dressed. I mean, I appreciate the bra-and-panties look, but I don't know if the Silent Brothers will. There are only a few of the left, and I don't want them to die of excitement. — Cassandra Clare

Bitten? You mean you're a-"
"A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister. — Cassandra Clare

Where's Simon?" Clary interrupted.
Isabelle wobbled. "He's a rat," she said darkly.
Did he do something to you?" Alec was full of brotherly concern. "Did he touch you? If he tried anything-"
No, Alec," Isabelle said irritably. "Not like that. He's a rat."
She's drunk," said Jace, beginning to turn away in disgust.
I'm not," Isabelle said indignantly. "Well, maybe a little, but that's not the point. The point is, Simon drank one of those blue drinks- I told him not to, but he didn't listen- and he turned into a rat. — Cassandra Clare

Well, I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot."
"Forever?" said Simon. "Forever's an awfully long time."
Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don't you? — Cassandra Clare

Kyle is a werewolf?"asked Simon
"Of course he's a werewolf,you moron"said Jace — Cassandra Clare

Maybe. Although I doubt most Shadowhunters get a tattoo of Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on their left shoulder. — Cassandra Clare

Simon went over to Jace and dropped the soup can into the cart. "So what was all that about?"
"I think," Jace said, "that she asked if she could touch my mango. — Cassandra Clare

I can see why you like it here," he said,making a sweeping gesture that encompassed Kyle's collection of movie posters and science fiction books. "There's a thin layer of nerd all over everything." said Jace.
"Thanks. I appreciate that." Simon gave Jace a hard look. — Cassandra Clare

He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot.
"Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note. — Cassandra Clare

Aren't they supposed to be hiring someone else to train me full-time anyway?"
"Yes," he said, getting up and pulling her to her feet along with him," and I'm worried that if you get into the habit of making out with your instructors, you'll wind up making out with him, too."
" Don't be sexist. They could find me a female instructor."
"In that case you have my permission to make out with her, as long as I can watch. — Cassandra Clare

I'm sorry I smacked you," she said.
He stopped humming. "Just be glad you hit me and not Alec. He would have hit you back. — Cassandra Clare

I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow. — Cassandra Clare

Jace snorted so loudly that she turned on him with a frown. He wiggled his mud-caked fingers at her. His nails were black crescents. Filthy inside and out. — Cassandra Clare

I guess it's true what they say," observed Jace. "There are no straight men in the trenches."
"That's atheists, jackass," said Simon furiously. "There are no atheists in the trenches. — Cassandra Clare

Wake up, Sleeping Beauty," Jace said softly from my right.
"Call me that again, and I'll tell the whole Pride you sleep in Scooby-Doo underwear."
"I don't sleep in Scooby-Doo underwear. Hell, I don't sleep in any underwear. — Rachel Vincent

Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss. "I can't believe you did it!" she exclaimed. "How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?"
"Traded him for Alec," Clary said.
Isabelle looked mildly alarmed. "Not permanently?"
"No," said Jace. "Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back," he added thoughtfully. "In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy."
Isabelle looked dubious. "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out."
"That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" Simon inquired. "No, probably not. — Cassandra Clare

Fresh is better. But you've never drunk fresh blood. Have you?"
Simon raised his eyebrow in response.
"Well, aside from mine of course," Jace said. "And I'm pretty sure my blood is fan-tastic. — Cassandra Clare

How ... how are you doing, Jace?'
Holding on. Just barely. Charlie?'
Charlie's tone is almost conversational. 'Kind of getting the urge to kill both of you. Think I'm gonna head back.'
Sure, okay, no problem.'
Yeah, yeah, good idea. You do that. — D.D. Barant

Dios," he said, addressing himself to Jace. "What happened to you, brother? You look as if a pack of wolves tried to tear you apart."
"That's either a shockingly good guess," said Jace, "or you heard about what happened. — Cassandra Clare

Haven't you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?"
"Only from ugly people," Jace confided. "The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me." He winked at the girls, who giggled and hid behind their hair. — Cassandra Clare

That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."
"Why?" Isabelle said.
"So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means. — Cassandra Clare

I saw you in the library.
With - "
" Colonel Mustard? — Cassandra Clare

You're my sister," he said finally. "My sister, my blood, my family. I should want to protect you" - he laughed soundlessly and without any humor - "to protect you from the sort of boys who want to do with you exactly what I want to do."
Clary's breath caught. "You said you just wanted to be my brother from now on."
"I lied," he said. — Cassandra Clare

Simon shook his head."Look,do you know what you want to eat,or do you just want me to keep pushing this cart up and down aisles because it amuses you?"
"That and I'm not really familiar with what they sell in mundane grocery stores.Maryse usually cooks or we order in food."said Jace — Cassandra Clare

Take off your shirt."
Jace raised his eyebrows.
"I'm not going to attack you," she said impatiently. "I can take the sight of your naked chest without swooning."
"Are you sure?" he asked, obediently sliding the shirt off his shoulders. "Because viewing my naked chest has caused many women to seriously injure themselves stampeding to get to me. — Cassandra Clare

And spare me the jokes about scoring."
"Dammit, woman, you read my mind," he said. "Is there no filthy wordplay you can't forsee?"
"It's my special magical power. I can read your mind when you're thinking dirty thoughts."
"So, ninety-five percent of the time. — Cassandra Clare

Investigation?" Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names."
"Good idea," said Jace. "I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein. — Cassandra Clare

You look lousy,' he said.
Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.'
'No I mean it. You don't look good.'
'This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-'
'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped. — Cassandra Clare

What makes you think that Valentine's change of plans had anything to do with your brother?"
"Because only Jace can piss someone off that much. — Cassandra Clare

Keep up," said an irritable voice in her ear. It was Jace, who had dropped back to walk beside her. "I don't want to have to keep looking behind me to make sure nothing's happened to you."
"So don't bother."
"Last time I left you alone, a demon attacked you," he pointed out.
"Well, I'd certainly hate to interrupt your pleasant night stroll with my sudden death."
He blinked. "There is a fine line between sarcasm and outright hostility, and you seem to have crossed it. — Cassandra Clare

And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders. — Cassandra Clare

What about Isabelle?" Simon asked. "Where is she?"
The humor, such as it was, left Jace's expression. "She won't come out of her room," he said. "She thinks that what happened to Max was her fault. She won't even come to the funeral."
"Have you tried talking to her?"
"No," Jace said, "we've been punching her repeatedly in the face instead. Why, do you think that won't work?"
"Just thought I'd ask." Simon's tone was mild. — Cassandra Clare

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace — Cassandra Clare

What's this?" he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there.
"It's a girl," Jace said,recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one. — Cassandra Clare

Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn't make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the duckie. (Jace Wayland) — Cassandra Clare

Jace rolled his eyes. "It's fascinating," he said. "You know all these words, and they're all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don't make any sense."
(Jace, to Simon) — Cassandra Clare

By the Angel," Jace said, looking the demon up and down. "I knew Greater Demons were meant to be ugly, but no one ever warned me about the smell."
Abbadon opened its mouth and hissed. Inside its mouth were two rows of jagged glass-sharp teeth.
"I'm not sure about this wind and howling darkness business," Jace went on, "smells more like landfill to me. You sure you're not from Staten Island? — Cassandra Clare

I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
"Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job. — Cassandra Clare

A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers? — Cassandra Clare

Jace?" She offered him the glass.
"I am a man," he told her. "And men do not consume pink beverages. Get the gone, woman and bring me something brown."
"Brown?" Isabelle made a face.
"Brown is a manly colour," said Jace and yanked on a stray lock of Isabelle's hair with his free hand. "In fact, look-Alec is wearing it."
Alec looked mournfully down at his sweater. "It was black," he said. "But then it faded."
"You could dress it up with a sequined headband," Magnus suggested. — Cassandra Clare

I just proposed to Isabelle," (Simon) announced.
Beatriz screamed with excitement. Some of the students, fearing a demon attack, also screamed. One of them fell off a rafter and thumped to the ground on a training mat. Clary burst into happy tears and threw her arms around Simon.
Jace lay down on the floor, arms thrown wide. "We're going to be family," he said glumly. "You and me, Simon, we're going to be brothers. People will think we're related."
"No one will think that," Simon said, his voice muffled against Clary's hair. — Cassandra Clare

Though Simon imagined that Jace ran the gamut of facial expressions when he was alone with Clary, his default one around other people was a fierce sort of blankness. "He looks," Simon had once said to Isabelle, " like he's thinking about something deep and meaningful, but if you ask him what it is, he'll punch you in the face." "So don't ask him," Isabelle had said, as if she thought Simon was being ridiculous. "No one says you two need to be friends. — Cassandra Claire

Belatedly, Clary recalled something. "I thought you guys said only some of the vampire bikes could fly?" ... [Jace:]"Only some of them can!" "How did you know this was one of them?" "I didn't!" he shouted gleefully ... — Cassandra Clare

Give me a minute to get dressed."
"You're not dressed?"
I smiled in spite of myself at the lighthearted quility of his jest. Until my broken door began to move. "Jace!" I shouted, trying to keep from laughing as I vaulted off the bed and scrambled to stop him. He wasn't seriously trying to sneak a peek; if he had been, he wouldn't have made any noise. But if I let him get away with a joke today, he'd try it for real tomorrow.
Jace yelped as I ripped the door from his grasp and leaned it against the frame. Then he sulked, his eyes roaming just far enough south to see my tank top and shorts. "Liar!" he accused, the smile in his eyes ruining his pout. "You're not naked."
"I meant I wanted to change."
He grinned. "So, go ahead."
"Nice try. — Rachel Vincent

As it turned out, everyone wanted a doughnut. Jace wanted two. — Cassandra Clare

He looked back at her, and when she saw the look on his face, she saw his eyes at Renwick's, when he had watched the Portal that separated him from his home shatter into a thousand irretrievable pieces. He held her gaze for a split second, then looked away from her, the muscles in his throat working. — Cassandra Clare

We need to talk. All of us About what we're going to do now."
"I was going to watch Project Runway. — Cassandra Clare

Magnus, standing by the door, snapped his fingers impatiently. "Move it along, teenagers. The only person who gets to canoodle in my bedroom is my magnificent self."
"Canoodle?" repeated Clary, never having heard the word before.
"Magnificent?" repeated Jace, who was just being nasty. Magnus growled. The growl sounded like "Get out. — Cassandra Clare

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely. — Cassandra Clare

Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you'd get dressed up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace.
"It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath."
"As soon as I'm back on my feet, handsome," said Simon.
"I knew we should have left you a rat. — Cassandra Clare

Finally, Jace suspects it's a bad sign that he is referring to himself in the third person. — Swati Avasthi

Come on guys, you cant fight like this forever"
"Actually," Simon said, raising his hand,"I can".
Jace made a weird noise and I realized he was trying not to laugh-which by the way, wasn't working. — Cassandra Clare

Well, why did you kill Jeremiah? And don't bother feeding me some story about how you just happened to wander along after he spontaneously died. I know you did this. — Cassandra Clare

Jace was very pale, with hectic spots like fever on his cheekbones. But it was Valentine. I saw him. In fact, he had the Sword with him when he came down to the cells and taunted me through the bars. It was like a bad movie, except he didn't actually twirl his mustache. — Cassandra Clare

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health. — Cassandra Clare

I can only assume," said Jace, "that mortal emotions amuse you because you have none of your own. — Cassandra Clare

The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me. — Cassandra Clare

Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is."
"It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook."
"Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me. — Cassandra Clare

Paranoia is just the bastard child of fear and good sense." (Charlie)
"Poor thing. Let's adopt it, give it a last name and raise it right." (Jace)
"You want to get it a puppy, too?"
"Sure. We'll call it Panic. It and little Paranoia can play together at the park and scare the hell out of all the other kids. — D.D. Barant

The [coat] rack above his head like a javelin.
On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?"
Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful."
"Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats. — Cassandra Clare

I'm not going to do that."
"of course you're not." Jace said. "because you live to torture me, don't you?"
"Not everything, Jace, is about you." Clary said furiously.
"Possibly," Jace said "But you have to admit that the majority of the things are. — Cassandra Clare

Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
"Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling. — Cassandra Clare