Iso Funny Quotes & Sayings

His knees were held together by the skin-tight trousers, which consequently narrowed the aperture through which great quantities of malodorous, rancid dreck were shortly to emerge with great force. St John knew that this was likely to prove troublesome. Although his mid-morning bab was usually undertaken in a more perfunctory manner, he would still have been mindful enough to ensure that his trousers were well below the knee before he commenced the disagreeable act, but in his current predicament, he was in no state to dally. — St John Morris

Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us. — George Carlin

With vivid words your just conceptions grace,
Much truth compressing in a narrow space;
Then many shall peruse, but few complain,
And envy frown, and critics snarl in vain. — John Wolcot

the church community is a hospital for recovering addicts to selfishness. — Winfield Bevins

But I'm still standing. I'm still breathing. And somehow, I'm okay. — Gayle Forman

Writers are remembered for their best work, politicians for their worst mistakes, and businessmen are almost never remembered. — Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Live, love, forgive and be grateful, always — Sherry Joyce

The rules of prudence, like the laws of the stone tables, are for the most part prohibitive. "Thou shalt not" is their characteristic formula. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Do unto others what you want done unto you. — Confucius

Chris and I care about each other and we're still friends. Tom is the most incredible man in the world. — Katie Holmes

There will never be a state of society anything like perfect! There never will be a time when there won't be a large proportion of people who feel poor no matter how much they have, and envy their neighbors who know how to wear cheap clothes showily, and envy neighbors who can dance or make love or digest better. — Sinclair Lewis

The praying which makes a prayerful ministry is not a little praying put in as we put flavor to give it a pleasant smack, but the praying must be in the body, and form the blood and bones. Prayer is no petty duty, put into a corner; no piecemeal performance made out of the fragments of time which have been snatched from business and other engagements of life; but it means that the best of our time, the heart of our time and strength must be given. — E. M. Bounds

I find that people find a way out of misery through humor and it's humor that's often unacceptable to people who are not in quite such a state of misery. — Danny Boyle

You're not going to put a bag over my head, are you? — C.D. Reiss

When you are done changing, you're done. — Benjamin Franklin