Ironic Christmas Quotes & Sayings

In San Francisco, racism came at you with a smile. — David Talbot

In my mind, she was Lebkuchen Spice - ironic, Germanic, sexy, and off beat. And, mein Gott, the girl could bake a damn fine cookie ... to the point that I wanted to answer her What do you want for Christmas? with a simple More cookies, please!
But no. She warned me not to be a smart-ass, and while that answer was totally sincere, I was afraid she would think I was joking or,
worse, kissing up.
It was a hard question, especially if I had to batten down the sarcasm. I mean, there was the beauty pageant answer of world peace, although I'd probably have to render it in the beauty pageant spelling of world peas. I could play the boo-hoo orphan card and wish for my whole family to be together, but that was the last thing I wanted, especially at this late date. — David Levithan

I don't know. I don't know anything, really. I just feel. And when the feeling is strong enough, then I just say I know. But I don't ... — Betty Smith

When you put your total faith in God, no matter what happens, to a person who's a true believer, if you die, you know you're going to heaven to be with God. — Jim Bakker

I want to make music. That means I prefer the Steinway piano. — Alfred Brendel

I dress up a certain way because I respect the music. — Wynton Marsalis

The insane and irrational springs of wickedness in most men ... — John Maynard Keynes

You don't fix a man the way you do a fault in a pipe or a leak in a roof. You take him as he is, Mary Brenna, or you don't take him at all ... adjustments can't be all made on one side, darling, else the balance goes off and what's being built just falls down. — Nora Roberts

By honoring and responding to your natural and essential requirements for sleep, food, water and movement, you will rise out of the realm of survival into the world of fulfillment. — Miranda J. Barrett

We all line up except for this guy in a wheelchair, Devyn. He smiles at me when I line up, introduces himself. He has a movie star smile, just white teeth and charisma, big eyes, dark skin. He'd be perfect looking if he didn't have such a large nose, but the truth is it looks good on him, natural and powerful. He winks at Issie, who blushes.
"You can do it, Is," he says.
She rolls her eyes, twists her lip, and says, "As long as I don't pass out."
"If you pass out, I'll put you in my lap and wheel you across the finish line," he says, and it somehow isn't sleazy because you can tell by his eyes how much he cares about Issie. I instantly like him.
She blushes worse. Her face looks like she's already sprinted a mile. — Carrie Jones

While Karen loved Simon for all his faults, Anna doesn't love Steve for his. She can't and never will. How can she, when Steve's worst fault leads to this? — Sarah Rayner

The great majority of men, especially in France, both desire and possess a fashionable woman, much in the way one might own a fine horse - as a luxury befitting a young man. — Stendhal

Snarl must love Christmas as much as me, I decided. — Rachel Cohn

Most new jobs won't come from our biggest employers. They will come from our smallest. We've got to do everything we can to make entrepreneurial dreams a reality. — Ross Perot

Demosthenes told Phocion, "The Athenians will kill you some day when they once are in a rage." "And you," said he, "if they are once in their senses. — Plutarch

What a woman does is open doors. And it is not a question of locking or unlocking. — Joanna Newsom

Two-factor economics makes it clear that our economic problem is not what one-factor (labor-centric) thinkers assert: an inequitable distribution of income. It is an inequitable distribution of productive power, from which an unworkable distribution of income results. — Louis O. Kelso