Irish Jokes Quotes & Sayings

I've seen few things more depressing than the end-of-season Giants-Padres series in 2001 in which Barry Bonds hit his 68th homer of the year while a .227-hitting, rapidly fossilizing Rickey Henderson staggered like a delirious marathoner toward 3,000 hits. — Stephen Rodrick

Prejudice in this country is like chapters in a book. Chapter One: Hating the Africans and Indians. Chapter Two: Don't forget the Irish. Chapter Three: Polish jokes." ... "Hispanics? Latinos? Whatever you call us? Maybe we're Chapter Fifteen or Sixteen on the East Coast, but we're the preface in the West. — Emilie Richards

You are angry with your neighbor, you despise him, do not like to speak peaceably and lovingly to him, because there is something harsh, abrupt, careless, unpleasant to you in his character, in his speech, in his manners-because he is more conscious of his dignity than perhaps is necessary; or because he may be somewhat proud and disrespectful; but you yourself, your neighbor's physician and teacher, are more guilty than him. — John Of Kronstadt

Observe yourself floating in space,
Pure and unadulterated as at birth,
Neither man nor woman ...
Without name or title ...
Pure life ... is what you observe.
You are infinitely peaceful,
Within a space inviolable to all,
A space of pure consciousness ... — Ilchi Lee

He's a couple sandwiches short of a picnic. — Lance Bass

I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes. — Saoirse Ronan

A society that lives by worldly principles is slowly moving towards a global crisis in all areas. — Sunday Adelaja

We have to frankly break the back of the secular-socialist machine, elect people committed to representing the American people, and then methodically rip the system apart. — Newt Gingrich

When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all. — Jasper Carrott

Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure. — Nick Clooney

For generations comedians have made jokes about Scots-Irish in the South inter-breeding. "I am my own grandpa" and all that stuff; you know, because they all were marrying their first cousins. — Ishmael Reed

I ran into Ellen at a photo shoot. She took my breath away. That had never happened to me in my life. — Portia De Rossi

There's prejudice everywhere. I don't think the music industry is as bad as the movie industry. But I have taken a few hits over the years for my sexuality, and for being honest about my life. In the end, it's the music that rules the roost. — Rufus Wainwright

There's no such thing as a superhuman. But the only thing I got to tell you, if you take a dog and kick him around he's got to be alert, he's got to be more sharper than you. Well, we've been kicked around for two thousand years. We're not more smarter, we're more alert. — Mordecai Richler

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish. — Frank Carson

He went on for months, hardly eating or drinking, until he had rolled the boulder to the very peak of the high mountain. There he stopped and surveyed the world. Now he could see more of the world than anyone. This was the place he would live - where no grass grew, where no birds flew. For water, he could only lick the ice and frost. For food, he could only gnaw on moss. Be he had no regrets, because now he could look out over the whole world. — Haruki Murakami

He looked at her rather as a man looks at a problem that he would very much prefer to do without. She supposed it was a distinction of a sort to be a harassment to a king. — Robin McKinley