Quotes & Sayings About Insurance Funny

But that's why you pay for insurance, right? If you never file a claim, then they've beaten you. — Jonathan Tropper

You have to make a lot of sacrifices, and the main thing you have to sacrifice is your privacy. It's funny because when I was growing up, my daddy was and still is an insurance agent in our home town. He couldn't go anywhere without somebody recognizing him or needing something from him. — Josh Turner

I had a job interview at an insurance company once, and the lady said 'Where do you see yourself in five years?' I said, 'Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me this question!' — Mitch Hedberg

Maybe you should get a very large life insurance policy on the next husband," Lily suggested slurping her coffee loudly. "You know, before he makes an ash of himself."
"Very funny, but don't think I haven't thought of it. It's an unpredictable way to score more rental properties, but I do seem to be good at burying men. — Tracy Brogan

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar! — Rodney Dangerfield

There is only one kind of life insurance, and that is pure protection based on a mortality table. All others are pure protection plus a cash value element that I call 'funny' banking. — Venita VanCaspel

Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs- bank vice presidents, insurance salesmen, auditors, secretaries of defense- and you'll realie they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears menswear department dress. Now look at the real successes, the people who make a lot more money than you- Elton John, Captain Kangaroo, anybody from Saudi Arabia, Big Bird, and so on. They all dress funny- and they all succeed. — Dave Barry

Or maybe I work at Starbucks," he said. She snorted. "Really?" "Really," he said, still smiling. "Someday you'll need health insurance, and you won't think working at Starbucks is funny. — Rainbow Rowell

Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning. — Jerry Coleman