Inspirational George Carlin Quotes & Sayings

Whatever happened to "In victory, magnanimity; in defeat, defiance." So said Frederick the Great. — George Carlin

People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. — George Carlin

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. — George Carlin

My advice: just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. — George Carlin

Some are made modest by great praise, others insolent. — Friedrich Nietzsche

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. — George Carlin

Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big. — George Carlin

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. — George Carlin

What would Tyler Durden do? — Chuck Palahniuk

Had I found the back of the net it would have been a double satisfaction but I've scored many goals and the important thing was for me to play well. — Alessandro Del Piero

Fuck rational thought — George Carlin

Motivation is bullshit, if you ask me this country could use a little less motivation. The people who are motivated are the ones who are causing all the trouble! Stock swindlers, serial killers, child molesters, Christian conservatives? These people are highly motivated, highly motivated. I think motivation is overrated, you show me some lazy prick who's lying around all day watching game shows and stroking his penis and I'll show you someone who's not causing any fucking trouble ok? — George Carlin

I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills. — Malcolm Muggeridge

We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven't learned how to care for one another. We're gonna save the fuckin' planet? ... And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin' great. It's been here over four billion years ... The planet isn't goin' anywhere, folks. We are! We're goin' away. Pack your shit, we're goin' away. And we won't leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we'll be gone. Another failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake. — George Carlin

Impact of this makeover has been to significantly impede historical research, and it is one of Ataturk's most devastating accomplishments. — Eric Bogosian

The universe is a big puzzle;
you complete it. — Matshona Dhliwayo