Infomercials Inc Quotes & Sayings

The family on my mom's side, their whole business is inventing and pitching stuff. My grandfather is in infomercials. He's a pitchman, so if you're ever watching TV late at night, you'll probably see him pitching knives. My great-grandfather also invented the plastic cheese grater. — Ashley Tisdale

relegated to a tireless search to find a church that preaches the Bible at all, as today's pulpits more commonly stream self-help infomercials which refuse to mention, let alone offer remedy for man's greatest issue: sin and man's need for redemption. — Jeff Kluttz

I looked at game show hosting as the bottom of the totem pole, one step away from infomercials. I never watched them myself. However, it's been a lot of fun. — Drew Carey

I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people. — John Oliver

Advertisements on YouTube are the new infomercials. — J.R. Rim

The good Lord grant, that false religion may cease, and true religion prevail through the earth! — Jonathan Edwards

Oh, Sam, this is Kate. Kate, meet Sam.' I wave my hand between the two of them, watching as Kate turns all angelic, putting her hand out to Sam, who grins before clasping it.

'Nice to meet you, Kate.' he says smoothly, maintaining his grin and running his free hand through his mousey waves.

'You too.' She arches a brow.

She's a brazen hussy! She's flirting with him. She giggles as Sam compliments her on her wild, red hair, their hands still linked. My phone declares a text. To escape the blatant flirting exchange going on in front of me, I pick it up and open the message with one eye closed.

There better be a GOOD f**king reason for you standing me up. Someone had better be dying. I'm going out of my f**king mind, lady. NO KISS — Jodi Ellen Malpas

[...] I'd wake up in the middle of the night to the Star-Spangled Banner and some old film of a flag blowing in the wind, telling you the day was over and it was long past time to go to bed. That was back when days used to end, before CNN and infomercials, before all our days bled right into each other. — Michael Montoure

After saying the jobs bill is paid for, President Obama now says that it will be paid for by raising taxes over 10 years. I can't figure out if he's the kind of guy who makes infomercials, or the kind of guy who falls for infomercials. — Jay Leno

Where do nations begin? In airport lounges, of course. You see them arriving, soul by soul, in pre-activation mode. They step into no man's land, with only their passports to hold onto, and follow the signs to the departure gate. There, among the impersonal plastic chairs and despite themselves, they coalesce into the murky Rorschach stain of nationhood. — Kapka Kassabova

I like infomercials. — Tracey Ullman

Magnus raised his hands above his head and clapped once. The room flooded with light. "You see? You think that would be possible without magic?
"Actually," replied Simon, "It is. If you watched infomercials you'd know that. — Cassandra Clare

The feeling of uselessness is no respecter of age and never asks permission, but instead corrodes people's souls, repeating over and over: 'No one is interested in you, you're nothing, the world doesn't need your presence. — Paulo Coelho

It was hard not to realize what kind of kid his parents wished they'd had, and when he thought about that kind of kid it was tempting for Paul to want to track, hunt, and eat the little thing. — Ben Marcus

'Buncha Losers' comedy is one of those homegrown American art forms, up there with infomercials and Elvis-shaped soap carvings. No other civilization could have invented it. The French took a stab with Sartre's 'No Exit,' but then they had to ruin it with a lesson at the end. — Rob Sheffield

Every time I see documentaries or infomercials about little kids with cancer, I just freak out. It affects me on the highest emotional level ... Anytime I think about it, it makes me sadder than anything I can think of. — Kurt Cobain

The key to terror, the key to terrorism, is not the act - but the fear of the act. That is why bin Laden and his deputies and his imitators are forever putting together videotaped statements and releasing virtual infomercials with dire threats and heart-stopping warnings. But why is the Republican Party imitating them? Bin Laden puts out what amounts to a commercial of fear; The Republicans put out what is unmistakable as a commercial of fear. The Republicans are paying to have the messages of bin Laden and the others broadcast into your home. — Keith Olbermann

No purchase is so urgent, no bargain so rare, that you don't have time to research it thoroughly, despite what they might have you believe. This applies, in particular, to infomercials that urge you to 'Call now, while supplies last,' or 'Call in the next 10 minutes for a free gift.' — Jean Chatzky

I left Mexico for artistic survival. If I had stayed, I would have been forced by the government, who control the movie business, to direct TV shows or commercials or infomercials for the government. — Alfonso Cuaron

I've done a dozen or two dozen infomercials. — Matthew Lesko

His job ruled his day. Cable television infomercials and YouTube searches ruled his nights. — Jared C. Wilson

There is a cookie trail of all my interests lodged in some digital sphere which will one day consolidate the collected data of six billion souls and vomit out - I don't know - personalized infomercials for deodorant and car wax. — J. Lincoln Fenn

We're going to be rich.
Huh?
Forgot. You're already rich. I'm going to be rich, and you'll be richer
okay
I'm serious. We've just discover a non-fail motivation for exercise. Hot jungle sex. We'll be Bill Gates rich. We'll write a book. There'll be DVDs and infomercials.
America, then the world, will become buff and sexually satisfied. And they'll have us to thank. — Nora Roberts

What are you watching?"
"Infomercials," I said.
Bryce laughed and wiped his hands on his pajama pants before grabbing the house phone off the side table. "These are the best. I love calling and asking them questions."
"Like what?"
"You'll see," he grinned mischievously, waggling his eyebrows, and punched in the number. — Micalea Smeltzer

My wife would say my worst habit is that I'm not good at dropping subjects. If something bothers me, I'll bring it up endlessly and relentlessly. I think it's a search for clarity, but she uses different words. — Paul Reiser

No one's on at my time but infomercials. — Carson Daly

Like they say in the infomercials, you're under no obligation. Right. On the other hand, my mother would have said the devil's voice is sweet. But I sat down. — Stephen King

Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It's a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write. — Paul Rudnick

As a writer, I need an enormous amount of time alone. Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It's a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write. Having anybody watching that or attempting to share it with me would be grisly. — Paul Rudnick

Pseudobiceros bedfordi, which engages in a sperm battle when mating. Each is equipped with two penises, with which they fence, attempting to smear sperm onto the other without being fertilized themselves. The ejaculate burns a hole in the skin of the recipient, which is sometimes cavernous enough to cause the loser to tear in half. The problem is that the flatworms all want to be male. The female, almost by definition, invests more of her resources in the offspring, which means that individuals pass on more of their genes if they succeed in fertilizing others, while avoiding being fertilized themselves. This equates to spraying sperm around liberally without becoming pregnant. — Nick Lane