Increment Funny Quotes & Sayings

Dear La Virgen, [...] and she puts flowers and special sea shells in front of this little fat guy she calls Budda who I guess is kinda like your husband GOD right? But he doesn't look mad like hes smiteing any one and in fact he looks like he eats 5ths and 6ths, and in fact he looks like hes smileing [...]. — Alma Luz Villanueva

All that work: his generous patronage of the arts, the vast sums of money he had donated to worthy causes, setting up charitable organizations . . . for what? In the end, none of those good works had redeemed him in the eyes of others. People think that men like me give money away to buy forgiveness for a sin or out of vanity, when it's the winner's pathetic tribute to the loser. Look at me, we seem to be begging, I need you too. I need you to accept me, to admire me, to love me. — Carmen Posadas

Growing up, I was always in normal public school which is very important in my eyes. — Tahj Mowry

I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. 'Where did you get it?' 'I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can't even watch their sign?' — Carrot Top

I want to marry and have kids. The things we all want. — David Zinczenko

There are pockets of great food in Spain, but there are also pockets of very mediocre food in Spain, and the same in Morocco and the same in Croatia and the same in Germany and the same in Austria. — Mario Batali

I was too practical to major in theater. Acting - what was I going to do with acting? There was no future in it. — Laurie Metcalf

I ask God all sorts of questions, but only science ever answers back. — Sarah Noffke

You can never represent yourself totally ... to seek self -knowledge is to embark on a journey which ... will always be incomplete, cannot be charted on a map, will never halt, cannot be described. — Douglas Hofstadter

Fang! Come Back!" I started pulling his hair. Shaking his head and shoulders. Hard. "Wake up! Snap out of it! You stupid jerk! I am going to kill you if you die on me! — James Patterson

Everything I do is blown out of proportion. It really hurts my feelings. — Paris Hilton