Quotes & Sayings About Inappropriate Humor

I'm working! What are you doing? Besides being...
Being what?
Wait a minute...
Sarcastic? Unfeeling? British?
It's an animal.
Where?
No, the word!
Still you have to admit, I am... very British. I don't say hard R's.
You know what I like? Brown sauce. What's it made of? Science doesn't know!
It's made of brown.
Brown. Mined from the earth by the hardscrabble brown miners of North Brownderton.
Oh, my God. I find lentils completely incomprehensible. What the sun-dappled hell is Echo doing at Fremont?
That's got nothing to do with the drug, which means our problems are huge and indomitable.
Ooh. I could eat that word. Or a crisp. Do you have any crisps?
You haven't seen my drawer of inappropriate starches? C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
Oh my god, I'm having such a terrible day. — Joss Whedon

Susan sighed. And you had to remember that Time probably wasn't time, in the same way that Death wasn't exactly the same as death and War wasn't exactly the same as war. She'd met War, a big fat man with an inappropriate sense of humor and a habit of repeating himself, and he certainly didn't personally attend every minor fracas. She disliked Pestilence, who gave her funny looks, and Famine was just wasted and weird. None of them ran their ... call it their discipline. They personified it. — Anonymous

There's a lot of randomness in the decisions that people make. — Daniel Kahneman

not Tony! She studied his — Nora Roberts

By the age of 11, I was no longer going to Sunday Mass, and going on birdwatching walks with my father. So early on, I heard of Charles Darwin. I guess, you know, he was the big hero. And, you know, you understand life as it now exists through evolution. — James D. Watson

The Beast Lord walked out of the warehouse. The screen went dark.
My knight in furry armor.
Saiman opened his mouth. This is why I didn't. Personally, I think your smile is inappropriate. — Ilona Andrews

Had I been crested, not cloven, my Lords, you had not treated me thus. — Elizabeth I

Most everybody had made at least one bad, drunken decision in their lives. Called an ex at two in the morning. Or perhaps has a little too much to drink on a second date and wept inconsolably while revealing how simply damaged one was, while nonetheless retaining an uncommonly large capacity for love. That kind of thing was, while regrettable, at least comprehensible. But waking up with someone generationally inappropriate, like your grandfather's best buddy? — Augusten Burroughs

Then you remember the dream," Mencheres stated. "That bodes ill."

The fear of that made my reply snappy. "Hey, Walks Like An Egyptian, how about for once you drop the formal stuff and talk like you live in the twenty-first century?"

The shit's gonna splatter, start buggin', yo," Mencheres responded instantly.

I stared at him, then burst out laughing, which was highly inappropriate considering the very grave warning he'd just conveyed. — Jeaniene Frost

She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappropriate future moment. — Gail Carriger

Religious faith to W. H. Bragg was the willingness to stake his all on the hypothesis that Christ was right, and test it by a lifetime's experiment in charity. — Guglielmo Marconi

What in god's name happened to your nuts?"
"They met a jet-powered water hose."
He grimaced.
"They're already healing."
A rare glint of amusement lit Lawrence's eyes. "You have balls of steel."
"You have inappropriate humour. — Dianna Hardy

Percy, who had been investigating the tall reeds by the edge of the pond, lifted his head at the sound of her voice and appeared to take it as invitation to run to her and attempt to hurl himself against her legs. Miss Greaves gave the dog a stern look before he'd even reached her, and said simply, "Off." Percy collapsed at her feet, his tongue hanging out the side of his jaws, ears back as he gazed up at her adoringly. Maximus shot the dog an irritated look as he turned and began walking back around the ornamental pond. — Elizabeth Hoyt

I apologize to everyone who was offended by my insensitive tweet about the situation in Egypt. I've dedicated my life to raising awareness about serious social issues, and in hindsight my attempt at humor regarding a nation liberating themselves against oppression was poorly timed and absolutely inappropriate. — Kenneth Cole

There was a time when my inappropriate humor brought you a certain amusement," sighed Will. "How the worm has turned. — Cassandra Clare

Melissa had faith in God and Theo had faith in the fertile Boratto testicles. — Darren Shan

I'm afraid that's inappropriate behavior for the schoolyard," Xavier teased. "I know my charm is hard to resist, but please tray and control yourself. — Alexandra Adornetto

I think I might have a disorder where your emotions frequently malfunction and a lot of the time you're sitting there feeling something inappropriate. It should be called Emotional Moron Disorder — Jesse Andrews

It felt wrong to cut him off. But I could only take so much heavy breathing before inappropriate thoughts involving whip cream and a ping pong paddle crept into my mind. — Darynda Jones

The gods have a great sense of humor, don't they? If you lack the iron and the fizz to take control of your own life, if you insist on leaving your fate to the gods, then the gods will repay your weakness by having a grin or two at your expense. Should you fail to pilot your own ship, don't be surprised at what inappropriate port you find yourself docked. The dull and prosaic will be granted adventures that will dice their central nervous systems like an onion, romantic dreamers will end up in the rope yard. — Tom Robbins

No successful business is run through thought. It requires people who work. — Stephen Richards

Isn't reduced brain damage a good thing?' asked Nathan.
'Oh, totally
I wish I had reduced brain damage, or at least, I wish bananas didn't taste like tangerines all the damn time
but this isn't the good kind of reduced brain damage. — Mira Grant

Aiken nodded. 'I get it. But the King is getting a bit long in the tooth for that kind of adventure. Rogering maidens is more his style these days. — Julian May

Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere "hah." — Anthony Jeselnik

Kudra was amused by Alobar's tentative polka until her eyes fell upon the tumescent protrusion dancing with him. Disgusting she thought. An erection is just inappropriate. Then she realized with a shock that she was so wet that children could have sailed toy boats in her underpants. — Tom Robbins

What is humor?' one of their professors had posed, and he had answered, 'nondangerous, unexpectedly inappropriate juxtaposition. — Sena Jeter Naslund

One thing I would say is real cops have real gallows senses of humor and make incredibly funny and inappropriate jokes in the presence of dead people all the time. — Daniel J. Goor

There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later. — Calvin Trillin

I'd go over to my grandmother's house, and she'd be playing opera. They loved opera. Not only did they play it on the radio, but they played it on their piano. Everybody learned how to read music and how to play. — Linda Ronstadt

Depression gave me more then just a brooding introspection. It gave me humor, it gave me a certain what-a-fuck-up-I-am shtick to play with when the worst was over..the side effects, the by products of depression, seems to keep me going. I had developed a persona that could be extremely melodramatic and entertaining. It had, at times, all the selling points of madness, all the aspects of performance art. I was always able to reduce whatever craziness I'd experienced into the perfect antidote, the ideal cocktail party monologue...I thought this ability, to tell away my personal life as if it didn't belong to me, to be queerly chatty and energetic at moments that most people found inappropriate, was what my friends liked about me. — Elizabeth Wurtzel

You do not mind my humor?"
"Not at all. I've not laughed like this ... " His brows drew together. "I think I've never laughed like this."
"Usually I exasperate people. And I jest at inappropriate times. Such as during executions. Freya says 'tis my gift and my bane to frustrate others."
"I like your manner, Reginleit. Life is long without humor. — Kresley Cole

You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner! — Stephen Colbert

Soon the sun beams will smile through. Before you jump out of that bed, just know, the thought of you was the first thing that hit my head. Good morning my darling. — Judy Garland

Twitter has the sustained ability to not get all touchy when I forget to "favorite" and thus had me at the first entirely inappropriate tweet flung my way. — Jennifer Harrison

The best jokes are uncalled-for. — Julien Torma

Does Hallmark make a "Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner" card? I settled for "How much do you remember? — Molly Harper