Ilana Quotes & Sayings

Demonstrators for a government takeover of medicine have a right to discuss their demands, but no right to enact these demands ... 'Rights, as our founding fathers conceived them, are not claims to economic goods, but freedoms of action. — Ilana Mercer

Whatever open-border libertarians think about immigration law, once the immigration scofflaw steals, trespasses, or vandalizes private property, said alien is guilty of crimes. To say, moreover, that the state's laws made masses of men and women commit such crimes is to voice the philosophy of determinism, not individualism. — Ilana Mercer

A depraved culture supports a depraved politics and vice versa. — Ilana Mercer

We're not all the same. A common liberal refrain ... is that differences between individuals are statistically more significant than those between cultural, ethnic, and racial groups. I don't see why the fact of inter-individual differences would nullify inter-group variance. That's liberal logic for you. — Ilana Mercer

From the fact that most Americans want others to fund or subsidize their healthcare, it does not follow that they have such a right. A need is not a right. A man's life, liberty and the products of his labor were not intended to be up for grabs by grubby, greedy majorities. — Ilana Mercer

A balanced-budget requirement implies is that government has the constitutional right to spend as much as it takes in; that government is permitted to waste however much revenue it can extract from wealth producers, and that the bums must merely bring into balance what was stolen (taxes) with what is squandered (spending). — Ilana Mercer

The Big-Media collective is slow, stupid and shackled by ideology. Reality must bite them before they'll recognize it, much less report it. — Ilana Mercer

Liberals can always be trusted to see God in Mumia Abu-Jamal and the devil in the Pope. — Ilana Mercer

On the unfalsifiable theory of global warming:Evidence that contradicts the global warming theory, climate kooks enlist as evidence for the correctness of their theory; every permutation in weather patterns warm or cold is said to be a consequence of that warming or proof of it. — Ilana Mercer

"Diiiie men." If you play any Broad City episode backwards, that's all we're saying. — Ilana Glazer

I didn't start smoking weed till my junior year. I had a boyfriend who smoked a lot, and I was like, "Oh, I guess I'm moving on to this phase of life." I didn't fight it at all. — Ilana Glazer

In a free society, the 'vision thing' is left to private individuals; civil servants are kept on a tight leash, because free people understand that a 'visionary' bureaucrat is a voracious one and that the grander the government ... the poorer and less free the people. — Ilana Mercer

I feel like a feminist is gender equality. — Ilana Glazer

The Republican Party under Genghis Bush did the devil's work. Bar the sainted Ron Paul, not a dog of a Republican lifted his leg in protest of the unjust war on Iraq. — Ilana Mercer

Adding an overarching tier of tyrants the EU to European governments has benefited Europeans as a second hangman enhances the health of a condemned man. — Ilana Mercer

The neoconservative pseudo-conservatives speak like Tocqueville but act like Robespierre. — Ilana Mercer

He who saves you from war is better than he who sends you to war. — Ilana Mercer

There is so much power in being able to look comfortable in a conference room, and I'm not sure dudes in suits are used to seeing women do that. — Ilana Glazer

Republicans are the drag queens of politics. Peel away the pules for family, faith and fetuses and one discovers either neoconservative welfare-warfare statists or global social democrats ... — Ilana Mercer

Biking is a good alternative. Use the city as your gym. — Ilana Glazer

When somebody asks what I do, I guess I say 'writer' first. — Ilana Glazer

Inviting an invasion by foreigners and instigating one against them are two sides of the same neoconservative coin. — Ilana Mercer

Barack the boy was raised by his white maternal grandparents; his Kenyan father abandoned him. The qualities Americans appeared to find universally appealing in the ambitious, affable Obama his confidence and calm, and his commitment to community and kin, education and excellence these came from Kansas, not Kenya. — Ilana Mercer

The original Constitution is a dead letter, having suffered decades of legislative, executive and judicial usurpation. The natural- and common law traditions, once loadstars for lawmakers, have been buried under the rubble of legislation and statute. However much one shovels the muck of lawmaking aside, natural justice and the Founders' original intent remain buried too deep to exhume. — Ilana Mercer

I'm talking ideal, I live in heaven, and my stomach is bottomless. — Ilana Glazer

I would love to host someone's bar mitzvah. I would love to do that. — Ilana Glazer

She read books of poetry, though they had lately begun to stoke her fury. It was all very well for these poets, who wandered off to have adventures and then could string them to words, to music. Anything she might write would be formless, a creature of rage and stormcloud. No music there. — Ilana C. Myer

I'm Language Gal. I can speak any language presented to me. And I look exactly like Halle Berry. — Ilana Glazer

You can survive in New York without much, if you're careful. You have to make your own food at home, and don't buy a lot of clothes. — Ilana Glazer

If for harming himself a man forfeits his freedom, then he was never free in the first place. — Ilana Mercer

There was an inscription at the end in Latin. It's translated in one of the guidebooks: What you are, we used to be. What we are, you will be. What do you think they meant?" Janey looked confused, torn, Ilana was sure, between her wish to have her mother explain and not wanting to admit her incomprehension to her sister. "It's obvious," Sarah said. "The bones were once people. Someday we'll be just bones." "I knew that." "Liar, — Lisa Gornick

Libya is a war of the womb. A product of the romantic minds of women Samantha Power, Hillary Clinton, Susan Rice who fantasize about an Arab awakening. It is estrogen-driven paternalism on steroids. — Ilana Mercer

You didn't build that' will be Obama's political epitaph: With these remarks, Obama has come out of the closet as a most odious collectivist, who believes religiously that government predation is a condition for production. Or, put simply, that the parasite created the host. — Ilana Mercer

Still - and for all Obama's heavy hinting to the contrary - Islam has no "human rights." The ideas of individual rights and the dignity of man are distinctly Western, an outgrowth of the Enlightenment. And while dialogue is dignified; dhimmitude is not, even if it achieves a desired, if temporary, effect. — Ilana Mercer

There is no such thing as absolute free speech; there are only absolute rights of private property. Speech is circumscribed by private property rights. You may deliver a disquisition in my virtual or actual living room only if I permit you to so do. — Ilana Mercer

The rights to life, liberty and property were not meant to be subject to the vagaries of majority rule. — Ilana Mercer

Islamic terrorism is the handiwork of people who've heeded, not hijacked, Islam. — Ilana Mercer

Everyone in New York is fluid and thinking and inspiring each other. — Ilana Glazer

We're [with Ilana Glazer] both totally upfront and proud feminists. We're not being all secretive about it. I feel like we're pretty blatant in our approach. — Ilana Glazer

I don't want to watch people fighting. — Ilana Glazer

Certain bedrock principles arguably a true conservative mindset dictate a respect for life. A life-conserving sensibility means that guns are meant for self-defense, not for needless killing[ ... ] This gun owner is no gun nut; but a right-to-self-defense fanatic. — Ilana Mercer

There was this one lady in Colorado who made us something ceramic, where it could have been either a ring holder or a bowl cleaner. She was just like, "Here you go." And we were both like, "Oh my god! Thank yoooou!" — Ilana Glazer

The free flow of people across borders is not to be confused with the free flow of goods across borders. Free trade is a positive-sum game. Contrary to illegal immigration, it is always invited, consensual and hence mutually beneficial to the parties involved. — Ilana Mercer

Obamacare is a marketplace in the same way the Knockout Game is a game. — Ilana Mercer

From the safety and comfort of rarefied zip codes, open-border theorists tutor the little people in the positive economic effects on productivity and economic growth of high population density. But regular folks don't have to travel to Cairo or Karachi to discover that this urban theory is an urban myth. — Ilana Mercer

I vape with my parents in my house. My parents don't really get high, which bums me out. But I vape with them around. It's just like a glass of wine. The family of the future is parents and kids who get high together. That is crazy to me, but it's so cool. I like the fact that my parents are fine with it, even if they won't do it with me. — Ilana Glazer

Incarcerating people for their [drug] consumption choices has the consistency of arresting a survivor of suicide for attempted murder . — Ilana Mercer

Progressive policies lead to a regressive society. — Ilana Mercer

When we were on tour, a lot of people just dropped joints on the merch table for us. That was great. Every time, I was like, "Thank you so much." — Ilana Glazer

That's what's nice about being on Comedy Central. You can't show your boobs even if you wanted to. — Ilana Glazer

Cognitive consonance is what writing in the Age of the idiot is all about. The key to success in the scribbling profession is to strike the right balance of mediocrity in writing and thinking, which invariably entails echoing one of two party lines, poorly. — Ilana Mercer

There is something nice about a library, isn't there?" Mr. Curtis said. He nodded and took in the familiar scenery. "The scent of ink and worn, dusty pages. — Ilana Waters

Ludwig von Mises referred to Ayn Rand as 'the most courageous man in America.' If that doesn't say it all about the economist's man-centric frame of reference, I don't know what does. — Ilana Mercer

A brave nation fights because it must ; a cowardly nation fights because it can. — Ilana Mercer

There are just too many Americans grubbing for free stuff and a preponderance of Republicans eager to parcel it out in exchange for power. — Ilana Mercer

I think it's kind of crazy that we're still calling comedians "female comedians." That seems more like a sneak attack. — Ilana Glazer

Prosperity and penury do not turn on gyno-centric and gay matters. But leftist statists and libertarians of the left place these wedge issues at the forefront of the fight for freedom. [ ... ] Every bit as bad as liberals, "libertarian" political operators are prepared to shed political blood over any imagined sign of bigotry. — Ilana Mercer

Zimbabwe, once the breadbasket of Africa, is now its dust bowl. — Ilana Mercer

By the standards of honest, if unorthodox, accounting, government workers don't pay taxes, but are paid out of taxes. In other words, they pay taxes out of money confiscated from taxpayers, who, in turn, pay taxes twice: on their own income and on the income of members of the bureaucracy. At the very least, this should disqualify state workers from voting. — Ilana Mercer

In democratic South Africa, dispossession is nine-tenths of the law. — Ilana Mercer

Any opinion writer worth his salt would have rejected the quaint notion that certain eternally aggrieved identity groups have exclusive linguistic rights to words in the English language. — Ilana Mercer

Survival - of the species of the culture of the faith - has a biological dimension. What would have befallen our Hominid ancestors had they implemented gender parity in their hunter-gatherer societies - sometimes the women hunt while the men forage and mind the kids, and vice versa? — Ilana Mercer

Government jobs are not an addition to the country's payroll; they are an increase in the nation's payload. — Ilana Mercer

Like environmentalists, politicians generally privilege flora and fauna over folks. — Ilana Mercer

The psychiatric endeavor - voodoo, really - is premised on the medicalization of misconduct. — Ilana Mercer

Because of the oil-and-water relationship governments have cultivated between ethics and political economy, speaking in plain terms - spelling it out as it is - as become foreign to the public. So here goes: When government sports a surplus, this implies that the political pickpockets have stolen more funds than they can possibly dream of spending. The property is not theirs to keep! Conversely, when deficits are reported, this means that the kleptomaniacs have not been able to steal sufficient funds to cover their profligacy. — Ilana Mercer

'Broad City' [series] has a wild side, but it also has a very heartfelt side. It's very human. — Ilana Glazer

B. B. King is no match for Johann Sebastian Bach. — Ilana Mercer

Liberals retain a totemic attachment to the Freudian idea that traumatic toilet training is destiny. — Ilana Mercer

In every character that you play ... I mean, I don't think I'll ever be the type of actor or performer per se who transforms, you know? Like Claire Danes transforms into Temple Grandin - I'm not gonna do that. — Ilana Glazer

It's interesting, gender versus race. I think people say that to women more: 'Oh, you're my favorite female.' They wouldn't say 'favorite black comic.' — Ilana Glazer

I lived with Ilana Glazer of 'Broad City.' She was my roommate for a year and a half. I was living with her just as she was creating and filming 'Broad City.' Both of us, and a lot of my friends, come from the Upright Citizens Brigade theater either in New York or L.A. — Rachel Bloom

The thing about the performance part ... starting with improv and standup, you're starting with yourself as the character, and I don't feel as much like, 'Oh, I'm a vessel for -' I feel like someone who calls themselves an actor is a vessel. — Ilana Glazer

I don't enjoy cooking when I'm high. And I don't want to be eating garbage because then I'll feel gross. — Ilana Glazer

If the Bill of Rights was intended to place strict limits on federal power and protect individual and locality from the national government the 14th Amendment effectively defeated that purpose by placing the power to enforce the Bill of Rights in federal hands, where it was never intended to be. — Ilana Mercer

Round and round will Americans be compelled to ride on a mindless, manufactured, racial carousel ... for without it, the edifice of an industry built upon grievance and excuse-making is destined to collapse. — Ilana Mercer

The National Education Association is the al-Qaida of education. — Ilana Mercer

In an effort to create reality on the ground - instead of reporting on it - the American media seem to color events by refracting them through a sickeningly sentimental prism. — Ilana Mercer

Demographics need not be destiny. The waning West became what it is not by out-breeding the undeveloped world. We were once great not because of huge numbers, but due to human capital people of superior ideas and abilities, capable of innovation, exploration, science, philosophy. — Ilana Mercer

A propagandized population has a hard time choosing worthy heroes. It is high time Americans celebrate the Anti-Federalists, for they were correct in predicting the fate of freedom after Philadelphia. — Ilana Mercer

According to the disease theory of delinquency, the arsonist has 'pyromania,' the thief 'kleptomania,' and Bill Clinton is not promiscuous, but a 'sex-addict. — Ilana Mercer

Free market is a market in which groups and individuals are differently represented. Parity in prosperity and performance between differently able individuals and groups can be achieved only by playing socialist leveler. — Ilana Mercer

[G]lobal warming, that manufactured monomania. — Ilana Mercer

Whether arrived at through reason or revelation ... natural law is the highest law known to man. It is anchored in the very existential nature of man and is therefore a priori just. — Ilana Mercer

The poor and people of color are yoked to the abject; white people use its exploration as a path toward self-liberation. It's a valid critique - and one that Broad City has increasingly interrogated, suggesting, especially in later seasons, the extent of Abbi and Ilana's privilege. — Anne Helen Petersen

Hollywood no longer offers entertainment. Instead, activism has replaced acting, and sermons have supplanted stories. Instead of a good yarn, you get a yawn. — Ilana Mercer

Antitrust laws ought to be deployed, not against business, but to bust this two-party monopoly, which subverts competition in government and rewards the colluding quislings with sinecures in perpetuity. — Ilana Mercer

Hamas hides among unwitting civilians, who have no way of controlling its activities. This fact does not give Israel the right to kill innocent non-combatants, not even unintentionally. Besides, murder is not 'unintentional' when you know it is inevitable. — Ilana Mercer

The cable commentariat is a cog in the corpulent D.C. fleshpot. — Ilana Mercer

I decided I would go to NYU so I could get into the comedy world and have legit housing, and my parents would not have trusted investing in a straight-up comedy career. — Ilana Glazer

Like or dislike her, the British Queen is harmless. Her role is purely ceremonial. Conversely, life and death are in the hands of the monarch who sits in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. — Ilana Mercer

The only kind of marriage liberals had ever glorified is the gay kind. But thanks to Michael Schiavo, the sanctity of marriage is fast becoming a liberal sacrament, with the proviso it has to involve 'mercy killing.' It took Michael Schiavo's devoted efforts to starve and dehydrate his wife to restore liberal faith in the institution. — Ilana Mercer

Socialism is humanity's second nature. All politicians do is turn human vice into votes. — Ilana Mercer

The military works like government; is financed like government, and sports the same inherent malignancies and perverse incentives of government, down to the racial-spoils system. — Ilana Mercer

Think of lab rats racing through a maze, when you watch the sub-intelligent, dual-panel 'dialogue' ... Each rat runs with a designated, neatly bifurcated (Republican or Democratic) political orthodoxy. Each is a 'maze-bright' rat, and not the possessor and giver of any truth. — Ilana Mercer

Government commissions are where accountability goes to die. — Ilana Mercer

[Hollywood] is obviously so fake, but then comedy is this little carve-out of sincerity. I love it. I get to be funny and do this. — Ilana Glazer

Media ideologies about one medium are always affected by the media ideologies people have about other media. — Ilana Gershon

You can't throw kindling on a fire and deny you kept it burning. And right now, cowardice is that kindling. — Ilana Waters

Gays have become colossal bores. Once interesting and iconoclastic, all they seem to crave nowadays is the State's pension and seal of approval. They ought to go back to the days of the Stonewall Riots, when the police's violations of privacy and private property were the object of their anger and activism. — Ilana Mercer