I Love You Husband Funny Quotes & Sayings

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I've been fighting to be who I am all my life. What's the point of being who I am, if I can't have the person who was worth all the fighting for? — Stephanie Lennox

Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano. — Rita Rudner

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. — Bill Cosby

Tessa reached out and took her hand. "Can I tell you something?"
"As long as it's not advice on chasing after a married man."
She squeezed Sara's hand. "I'm really in love with my husband."
Sara gave a careful "Okay."
"I know you think Lem is boring and too earnest and too self-righteous, and believe me, he can be all those
things, but a thousand times a day, I hear a song, or I think of something funny, or Daddy says one of his
stupid puns, and the first thing that comes into my head is 'I want to tell Lem about this.' And I know that
halfway around the world, he's thinking the same thing." She paused. "That's what love is, Sara, when there are so many things about you that you only want one person in the world to know. — Karin Slaughter

PAXTON OSGOOD'S FUTURE HUSBAND
Will be kind
Will be funny
Will be accepting
Will be be able to cook
Will be a good kisser
Will always surprise me
Will argue with me and sometimes let me win,
but not always
Will be mysterious
Will always love me, no matter what I look like
Mama will not like him, which means
I will love him even more — Sarah Addison Allen

There are few things more mysterious than endings. I mean, for example, when did the Greek gods end, exactly? Was there a day when Zeus waved magisterially down from Olympus and Aphrodite and her lover Ares, and her crippled husband Hephaestus ) I always felt sorry for him), and all the rest got rolled up like a worn-out carpet? — Salley Vickers

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.' — Joan Rivers

Alma: I rather suspect her of being in love with him. Martin: Her own husband? Monstrous! What a selfish woman! — Lady Randolph Churchill

If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband's murder. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo