I Am Officially Retired Quotes & Sayings

I never really officially retired from the WNBA, I just left the doors open. — Sheryl Swoopes

Yorkie has officially retired about 5 times ... The man's a clown ... People are going on about the game and agents and directors of football and managers losing their jobs, but we should be worried about people like him ... Clowns. That's the last time I'm going to say clown ... If he's the vice-president of FIFA, God help us all. — Roy Keane

She had seen what it cost him and her heart quickened with compassion. For that alone, she might have loved him almost. — Cecilia Dart-Thornton

For any ranked society, whether a chiefdom or a state, one thus has to ask, why do the commoners tolerate the transfer of the fruits of their hard labor to kleptocrats? This question raised by political theorists from Plato to Marx are raised anew by voters in every modern election. Kleptocracies with little public support run the risk of being overthrown, either by downtrodden commoners, or by upstart would be replacement kleptocrats seeking public support by promising a higher ratio of services rendered to fruits stolen. — Jared Diamond

Nor did I grasp the capacity of love's absence to destroy, that my lack of love for myself made my own life unbearable. You take someone whose life experiences have taught them they're worthless, string them out on drugs, and you have one miserable person. How could I have given what I didn't have? It's hard to value another life when you view your own as dispensable, hard to understand how you can have so great an effect on someone else when you don't think you matter. — Mia Fontaine

Why trade a chance at real happiness for a misery I already knew? — A.S. King

How to look after your very drunk friend
Step 1: Find her in the bathroom, slumped against the towel rack

Step 2: Ask her if she needs to be sick. Try not to get offended when she yells that she's NOT DRUNK

Step 3: Tell her it's fine when she apologises, bursts into tears and then falls asleep on your shoulder.

[...]

Step 6: Root around in her front pocket for her keys. Make a joke about inappropriate touching. Laugh when she earnestly tells you that you could touch her anywhere, because nothing's inappropriate when you're best friends.

Step 7: Write it down so you can mock her with it tomorrow, and for the rest of time.

Step 8: Tell her mother that yes, you both had a great time. Pour two glasses of water, carry them both up the stairs (Make her go first, so you can catch her if she trips) — Sara Barnard

And at the last all shall be safe, and evil thrust out never to return. And so that the trust be kept, he said, I give it into your charge, and your sons', and your sons' sons, until the day come. — Susan Cooper

I'm officially retired as the refuser of Academy Awards. — Sacheen Littlefeather

PIerre tried to work up a stormy heart of romantic loss about breaking up with Rebecca. It gave him license to drink and brood with hard eyes, which he found interesting. — Tom Drury

'Dark Knight' shot in London and Chicago, and we were on that for so long. — Chin Han

As for the fake teeth, they're officially retired. I haven't really found a need or want to wear them. — Uzo Aduba