I Am Not Awesome Quotes & Sayings

Please don't arrest me."
"Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure."
"You could be undercover. — Derek Landy

It does not mean you are not awesome, if no one ever appreciates your beauty. But I can see that, in your juicy eyes, funny smiles and innocent face. And I am telling you now; you are exceptionally beautiful and awesome. — M.F. Moonzajer

I am not a music snob. If anything, my musical taste is bad by any critical standards. My favorite song of all time is "Come On Eileen" by Dexys Midnight Runners. A close second is "MMMBop" by Hansen. So I am not out there claiming any musical superiority, but Creed really does suck. Bad music, pretentious lyrics, and a messianic front man. Also they are from Flordia. No good rock music has ever come from Flordia. Undoubtedly, there will be legions of offended readers who think to themselves, What are you talking about! Such-and-such band is from Flordia and they're freaking awesome! No, whatever band you are thinking of, if they are from Flordia, they suck. Not as much as Creed, but they still suck. — Michael Ian Black

I am not great in a crowd. I don't see a lot of rock shows because sometimes I am afraid I won't get out. I used to squeeze my little self into the scrum and jump around and cause tiny trouble. Now I just want to sit down and have someone perform my five favorite songs while I eat a light dinner and receive a simultaneous pedicure. Is there some kind of awesome indie/alt/hip-hop/electronica music tour that can do that? — Amy Poehler

Today I felt like a part of something awesome, the human race. I know it can be ugly; it really is in so many ways. But today there was nothing ugly to see, just people trying to be better. And maybe that's the key. Not resolutions and forgotten promises, but instead a commitment to do this year a little better than the last. I'm feeling good about this one. I really am. — Andrew McMahon

Not a single woman in the room could handle being told, "You're awesome." I couldn't handle being told I am awesome. What in the hell is wrong with us? — Shonda Rhimes

Max rocked back on his heels, shoving his hands into his pockets, and said, 'So. Juliet Cavanaugh. I assume my parents have been talking your ear off for the last however many months, telling you how awesome I am, and filling your head full of stories of my impressive talents in the kitchen.'
'Um. Not so much,' Jules said, shooting a glance at Danny, who shook his head and went back to his prep work.
'No? I should take this opportunity to set the record straight, then.' Max heaved a deep sigh. 'It's all true.'
'What?'
'Everything they should've told you about me,' Max explained. 'And I don't know why they didn't, because it's all true. No exaggeration or family bias plays into it at all
I am the best chef in the entire world. — Louisa Edwards

All right. I have a serious question."
"What?" Jeremy's forehead crinkled.
"What do you like on your pizza? Because if we're not compatible there, no way can we be pretend compatible anywhere else."
"That's a lot of pressure." Jeremy licked his lips and tried to look serious. "What if I get this wrong? Does that mean we're done pretend fucking?"
"Yup. Which would totally suck for you because I am awesome in pretend bed. So let's hear it: favorite pizza toppings. — Cardeno C.

Goddamnit Stone, I'm going to make it someday! I'm going to be the one in Rolling Stone magazine, and they're going to be talking about my fabulous technique and how goddamn awesome I am on guitar! I'm going to get there because of what I know, and what I can do, and NOT because of the size of my tits! — Shari Copell

Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today — Barney Stinson

I feel kinda happy. I discover that you were not leaving or disappearing. It is like you are here, there and everywhere. Just in the air. You taught me about time. I am now learning about space. It seems that both just vanish. It is awesome. Maybe the closest feeling to love. — Daul Kim

Now, personally, I'm not fond of huge snakes, especially ones with human heads and stupid hats. If I'd summoned this thing, I would've cast a spell to send it back, super quick. But Setne just rolled up his scroll, slipped it in his jacket pocket, and grinned. "Awesome!" The cobra lady hissed. "Who dares summon me? I am Wadjet, queen of cobras, protector of Lower Egypt, eternal mistress of - " "I know!" Setne clapped his hands. "I'm a huge fan!" I — Rick Riordan

Hemorrhoids Go big or go home! That was my mental response to childbirth. You want me to push? Okay, awesome. I'm going to push so hard that I not only eject this baby from me, but I'm also going to turn my butthole inside out. When I explained the issue to my OB, she insisted hemorrhoids were totally normal, and if they didn't go away, I could get a quick surgery to correct them, a suggestion that I met with a resounding "Nope!" I had already spent a month in elementary school sitting on a blowup pillow, and I'm not pulling my pants down as an adult to have surgery in my butt. So, here I am, five years out from my last birth and sitting in my chair a quarter of an inch taller. — Brittany Gibbons

You're not used to early mornings, are you?"
He shook his head. "Early mornings were invented by the system to keep the people occupied. But not me. I'm on to them. They're not gonna catch me napping. Metaphorically, like. Obviously, they can catch me physically napping like, four or five times a day, but, metaphorically, I am so far beyond their reach. — Derek Landy

I ... I don't, I don't think I can do this."
"Do what?"
It didn't answer.
"Do the tests?"
"I can't work with you when you're like this!" it blurted. "To every one of my specimens, I am the last thing they see! Terrror is what I am used to
terror is what I like! I prefer my subjects to scream and beg, not ask to see results!"
"I'll scream my questions, if that helps."
"It won't," it said sadly. "I'll know you're only trying to make me feel better. — Derek Landy

FUCK. This is not good. I'm allergic to whiskey. I think maybe I should explain this to her, and request a different alcohol. Then I remember that I am awesome. Even fighting through anaphylactic shock, I can STILL bury this emotionally unstable, bulimic undergrad. — Tucker Max

I am ashamed to say this, but as a child, neither my parents not my teachers pushed me to read. In fact, I did not read an entire book through until I was a grown man and had learned the awesome power of reading on my own. — Daniel Whyte III

Well, let's see. Guardians spend all their time watching out for
others, risking their lives, and wearing bad shoes. Me? I have great
shoes, am currently massaging a pretty girl, and sleep in an awesome
bed."
I made a face. "Let's not talk about where you sleep, okay? — Richelle Mead

It's hard to describe the feeling. And I knew from Horus's memory that this kind of union was very rare-like the one time when the coin doesn't land heads or tails, but stands on it's edge, perfectly balanced. He did not control me. I did not use him for power. We acted as one.
Our voices spoke in harmony. "Now."
And the magic bonds that held us shattered.
My combat avatar formed around me, lifting me off the floor and encasing me with golden energy. I stepped forward and raised my sword. The falcon warrior mimicked the movement, perfectly attuned to my wishes.
Set turned and regarded me with cold eyes.
"So, Horus," he said. "You managed to find the pedals of your little bike, eh? That does not mean you can ride."
"I am Carter Kane," I said. "Blood of the Pharaohs, Eye of Horus. And now, Set-brother,uncle,traitor-I'm going to crush you like a gnat. — Rick Riordan

Yeah, I'm gonna need to write this . . ." Januscheitis said, pulling Faith up from where she was passed out on the computer keyboard. " '. . . it was, like, awesome . . .' is not going to pass review." "Wazzat?" Faith said. "We're going to have to talk about report writing language, ma'am," Januscheitis said, getting the lieutenant to her feet. "Tomorrow. — John Ringo

I'm just trying to be the me that I am and not all of this other crap. I just want to be the family man, and if somehow I can make the money to get my ranch and get the hell away from everybody else, that would be awesome. — Chris Kyle

Vocal rest is awesome. It is like any kind of fast. Firstly, it is a purification of speech. It made me realize how not careful I am with the things I say. It also makes you find new ways of communication and new methods to connect with people. — Matisyahu

I'm honestly not jealous of my wife at all - when she succeeds I'm psyched. It never occurred to me to feel threatened by her success. But the one thing I am jealous of is the number of awesome, interesting, artistic, productive, and cool people she gets to hang out with all day. — Christopher Noxon

I don't know what fire is made of - hell nobody does. All I know is that fire is awesome. I'm not a pyromaniac, but I am a pyroenthusiast. — Daniel Tosh

"I like you," I whisper and immediately stare at my shoes. Of all the things I could have said, that shouldn't have been it. I. Am. An. Idiot.
A gentle tug on my hair sends goose bumps raining down my arms. I close my eyes and relish the sweet brush of his knuckles against my neck as he flips my hair over my shoulder. "Rachel?"
"Yes?" I say so softly he may not have heard me.
His hand caresses the sensitive spot right below my chin, and with a gentle pressure, Isaiah raises my head until I look into those warm silver eyes. "I like you, too."
The right side of my mouth quirks and a spring of hope bubbles up inside me. He likes me. A really hot, really awesome guy likes me. — Katie McGarry

I am what prevents the Accelerator from being a bomb."
"Except you didn't," said Gracious. "Because you weren't around."
"I got bored."
"You're a machine."
"Machines can become bored, too."
Gracious looked suddenly concerned. "My toaster is bored?"
"Perhaps, " said the Engineer. "I do not know many toasters. — Derek Landy

I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her."
The traffic warden frowned. "Her?"
"Me," said Stephanie.
"Him?"
"Not me," said Skulduggery. "Her."
"Me," said Stephanie.
"You?" said the traffic warden.
"Yes," said Stephanie.
"I'm sorry, who are you?"
Stephanie looked at him. "I'm Her, he's Me. Got it? — Derek Landy

I am not your dove," he ground out, barely loud enough to hear. "I am a wolf. — Rosemary O'Malley

I am so grateful to be here on this awesome planet with it's diverse life - everything we need to not just survive but to thrive. I am excited to continually learn more about it, and always curious to see what is going to come up next. — Jay Woodman

He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatically.
"Green grass breaks through snow.
Artemis pleads for my help.
I am so cool."
He grinned at us, waiting for applause.
"That last line was four syllables." Artemis said.
Apollo frowned. "Was it?"
"Yes. What about I am so bigheaded?"
"No, no, that's six syllable, hhhm." He started muttering to himself.
Zoe Nightshade turned to us. "Lord Apollo has been going through this haiku phase ever since he visited Japan. Tis not as bad as the time he visited Limerick. If I'd had to hear one more poem that started with, There once was a godess from Sparta-"
"I've got it!" Apollo announced. "I am so awesome. That's five syllables!" He bowed, looking very pleased with himself. — Rick Riordan

I live with past called "DeYtH" ( a guy who is famous with cs 1.6 maps, mods, photoshop and e.t.c. and with my now "Mark Tven", you probably said "Oh,Oh I know this name this guy was a writer..." it's not taken the guy was called Mark Twain, I'm Tven, famous with awesome maps and interesting updates of cs 1.6 maps. To don't forget, I'm famous with my nick of past with writting. — Deyth Banger