Humourist Quotes & Sayings

I wish they would pass a law where all Democrats and Republicans had to wear NASCAR racing suits, because if you look at the NASCAR drivers, it tells who their sponsors are. And if they do that, we could then become informed voters, because we would know who owns them. — Jesse Ventura

I had used all except peach labels. I pasted the peach labels on peach cans, and then came to apricots. Well, aren't apricots peaches? And there are plums that are virtually apricots. I went on, either mischievously, or scientifically, pasting the peach labels on cans of plums, cherries, string beans, and succotash. I can't quite define my motive, because to this day it has not been decided whether I am a humourist or a scientist. I think that it was mischief, but, as we go along, there will come a more respectful recognition that also it was scientific procedure. — Charles Fort

I get very confused about being called a comedian, because when you say 'I'm a comedian,' people expect you to crack a joke. Maybe I use laughter and humour to make people think. I don't know what you call that - a humourist? A satirist? A pessimistic comedian? I don't know. Satirists can be very dark. — Bassem Youssef

When you no longer need approval from others like the air you breathe, the possibilities in life are endless.
What an interesting little prison we build from the
invisible bricks of other people's opinions. — Jacob Nordby

When something seems wrong in your life, the only way to have resolution with it is to let it go. Trying to make it right keeps it wrong. — Beth Johnson

For Man was a culture-bearer as well as a soul-bearer, but his cultures were not immortal and they could die with a race or an age ... — Walter M. Miller Jr.

I dreamt of turrets and craggy ledges where the windswept rain blew in from the ocean with the odor of violets. A pale woman in Elizabethan dress stood beside my bed and whispered in my ear that the bells would ring. An old salt in an oilcloth jacket sat atop a piling, mending nets with an awl, while far out at sea a tiny aeroplane winged its way towards the setting sun. — Alan Bradley

Remember when I said that you don't tell your girls too much about your man? Well, when I got home I TOLD!! — Pepper Pace

He's for you and wants to help you be the person He created you to be. — Craig Groeschel

Tigerclaw checked that Oakpaw and Rowanpaw weren't actually killing each other, then led the medicine cat away from the training area into a circle of hawthorns. — Erin Hunter

Irony is the cultivation of the spirit and therefore follows next after immediacy; then comes the ethicist, then the humourist, then the religious person. — Soren Kierkegaard

Sometimes incompetence is useful. It helps you keep an open mind. — Roberto Cavalli